Fat experiences

You buy a bigger purse just so you can sneak more snacks to work.

When you walk through the zoo and the elephants hurl peanuts at you

Its a Rodney Dangerfield joke

You know you're fat when you can touch your toes with your belly.

I got a bit of a reminder that I am fat this morning while I was laying on my back in bed. I realized that my belly seemed flatter and wasn't sticking up as high as it had been. I commented to my wife that maybe I have lost some weight. She laughed and explained that I am simply sinking further into the mattress probably having gained weight over the holidays. I should have known that. For the past several weeks, I have been checking the size of pants that I am selecting from the hangers to make sure that I am picking the 48-inch waist pants instead of the 46-inch waist pants (they all have the expandable waistband to allow me the fantasy that I am not rounder than 50 inches). I actually started thinking that maybe it is time to order some 50s, but my wife would kill me. She already tries to limit my intake and won't let me have any ice cream if I haven't finished my cake.

You know you're fat when you outgrow a car.

You know you're fat when each of your boobs are bigger than your belly was when you weighed 400 pounds.

You know you're fat when you break the high capacity dining room chair purchased especially for you.

You know you're fat when you buy a business class plane ticket and end up sitting in two economy seats because business seats don't have moveable armrests.

When the heel part of the rubber on your flip-flops are turning into craters :-)

When people keep offering you food?

When you give up on the little tape measure in the sewing kit and get the 100ft tape measure from the hardware department?