I think that anyone who has ever been involved in Christianity (or most any other mainstream sect of an organized religion) has at some point struggled with resisting the temptations of carnal pleasures in favor of what they might perceive to be a life of righteousness and spirituality. I can remember being a teenager, sitting in church with my family, trying to listen to the pastor's sermon - all the while my mind drifting off and getting lost in visions beautiful curvy women and all the things I'd like to have done with them. I'd shake my head and snap out of it, saying to myself, "God, what is wrong with me? Why am I having these sexual thoughts when I am supposed to be having this 'holy experience' with my family and fellow parishioners?"
Well the answer to that questions is simple: I was a teenager. What teenage boy doesn't think about his Johnson 24/7? Not too many, certainly not in this hyper-sexualized society in which we live.
I'm not going to engage you in a discussion of your personal theology or faith, as clearly you have your own views and you know where you stand. We all travel our own path in this world, and I believe that our "religion" in the end is just our relationship with our God, our maker, our selves, the universe - however you want to look at it. If you are a man of faith as you say, then you must believe that God put you where you are and made you the man you are for a reason.
Is there a reason why God would want you to engage in feeding someone? Is there a reason God would want you to prefer the look and feeling of a larger, fatter body, either on yourself or a partner? Does your presence here on Fantasy Feeder somehow fulfill part of God's plan for you? I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to any of these questions; whatever you feel in your heart is what is meant for you.
It's all about finding the right balance in life, isn't it? Our fetishes aren't a big deal until they are; if anyone part of who we are starts taking over and keeping us from feeling like a whole and fulfilled person, well that's a problem.
One thing I think is absolutely and ironically important to note: I've known a good number of Christians who were very overweight and chronic overeaters. It may seem like a broad and unfair generalization, but from my experience a lot of these fat Christians were overeating as a means of stuffing-down or sedating some desire within themselves that they feel goes against God's will or is in someway sinful. I've seen it a hundred times: a parishioner getting bigger and fatter, until they finally either come out of the closet as gay, or they divorce an abusive spouse they were afraid to leave, or somehow own up to and confront some inner-conflict they've been having.
I think a lot us here might fall into that category as well - but I digress.
We all walk our own path in life, and we all have to find a balance in life that works for us. What works for us, will work for God - I can almost guarantee it. Wherever your path leads you, @kaede45, I hope it brings you peace.
3 years