Ive been on the other end as an FA in a relationship with a larger woman who did not like her body and did not like (unless she had been out drinking) her stomach or ass being touched in bed. It didn't end well unfortunately.
I have a friend/remove cousin who is more similar to your situation. She likes being “thicc” loves eating, is a chef by trade but her long term husband although very passive in nature is just not that in to it and she complains all the time about it.
They unfortunately rely on each other for visas (him so he can work in Canada, her so she can work in Ireland and they do enjoy each others company just (according to her) not so
much in bed.
From what I hear, in her lower moments, the lack of being lusted after by her husband does cause a knock to her confidence and she over compensates. Shes never been unfaithful, but when she came to visit us 3 years ago without him, all she wanted to do was dress up and go out and day drink at a number of bars she had listed then really indulge at restaurants with us on evenings [I felt like a total failure of an FA and table captain at a steak house when I realised id significantly under ordered for the 3 of us]
Long and short, it depends on what else is going on and how important to you and to him the physical aspects, kinks included, are to you both as individuals and as partners.
3 years