Lifestyle tips

Tell them that I like her and want her to be appreciated and I want you to please respect her

I'd just say "She's tried dieting but finds she's happier eating what she wants. And I'm happier if she's happier."

Strongly depends on what your parents are like in general.

My parents were both professional sports people and neither have ever been overweight. Ive had 3 obese partners including my ex wife and current wife.

There were teething issues, however I've always held my ground.

If you ensure that you draw clear boundaries in your relationship with your parents and you are clear in your commitment to your partner, then you are far less likely to experience voiced opposition to your choice of partner based on aesthetics.

Don’t get me wrong, your friends and family should feel free to voice justified concerns to you in private if they have knowledge of anything that may negatively affect you in a relationship; but aesthetics, non toxic life choices etc etc, should be beyond the acceptable line of conversation.

One thing that can help is not being purely fetishised in your relationship. If you focus on the other things that attract you to your S/O then others are more likely to see it too. I imagine there’s a whole lot more than just your partner’s looks that you find bonding in your relationship: hobbies, politics, philosophies, interests. The more that friends and family see the whole picture, the less focus there is on the bits they might not find relatable like your more niche preferences.

In my experience it was my sister that was more vocal than my parents.

One night Big Cutie Sable was over my house to watch a horror movie and she bent over to pick up my DVD binder that was on the ground. My sister just happened to be walking in the door from her night out and saw her bent over. Next day my parents were telling me my sister was upset. She got over it though when I started bringing home more larger ladies until I moved out on my own a year later.

There are basically two possibilities here, your parents can be trained to respect your wishes, or they can't. You'll know them best.

If they can be trained, you just set firm guidance without having to be too explicit. When you start dating someone you tell them how wonderful she is, how you really like her, how gorgeous she is, how well she treats you. Before you bring her to meet them you repeat those things, and if she is really large you maybe mention that she is bigger but you like her how she is.

Then you ignore subtle hints, give your parents less of your time if they bug you too much, and keep repeating the points above. And you try to find opportunities for your parents to be with her in situations where she will shine, and they'll get to see more of what attracts you to her.

Ultimately if you are happy, they will come to accept that, and drop the topic (at least mostly). IF they are trainable.

Then there is the case where "they'd rather be right than be happy" (using "be right" as meaning sticking with how they feel about the world without adapting). In that case, yah, they'll probably never change, and you'll have to decide how much you want them in your life, or date someone with a rock-hard character who can mostly ignore them (or give it back as much as she gets it, which does work with some people but not others).

But ultimately it is your life, and living it for them is not apt to make you happy. So probably the single biggest thing is accepting that you can be a good person and make a good decision that displeases your parents, and this is OK.