Aki:
The dark aspects of humiliation and ruination have always been appealing mostly due to personal arousal at being in a position or state of weakness.
How would I like to be ruined if such a thing came true? Stretchmarks, cellulite, rolls everywhere, double to triple and more chins, facial fat making me unrecognizable, a walking circus fat lady if walking is even possible. The permanence of it..
Health wise? Oxygen usage at times, diabetees, permanently expanded fat cells making weight loss a fictional dream. Tiring easily, physical weakness, usage of mobility scooters. Flatulence and belching. Sweating from exertion.
Psychologically? Gluttony becoming my main personality facet, Emotionally coping with life problems and feelings through comfort eating, fragile will, lack of discipline, becoming a pathetic characterization of the stereotypical "Fat American" the way other nations might see people over here, a loop of arousal and self destruction, knowing I will forever be some obese hog till my death and that all my potential was wasted.
For me eating has bloomed into a weird source of arousal and pleasure. I'm morbidly curious to see myself spiral out of control as to get fatter and fatter without a clear limit. I ironically like myself but I also see things from a spiritual perspective of wanting to explore it instead of resist or ignore that kind of change.
Eating very well might be an addiction and coping mechanism but through the years my weight has yo yo'd if only due to being a poor NEET who's only ever worked off the books doing caretaking or work for room and board.
Mobility issues and health issues are scary, it's in a way really dark of a fetish but arousal and facination draw me like a moth to the flame or in this case a pig to the slaughter house. Sure I like the nicer aspects of feederism but I've always been a person with odd thoughts and feels.
The dark aspects of humiliation and ruination have always been appealing mostly due to personal arousal at being in a position or state of weakness.
How would I like to be ruined if such a thing came true? Stretchmarks, cellulite, rolls everywhere, double to triple and more chins, facial fat making me unrecognizable, a walking circus fat lady if walking is even possible. The permanence of it..
Health wise? Oxygen usage at times, diabetees, permanently expanded fat cells making weight loss a fictional dream. Tiring easily, physical weakness, usage of mobility scooters. Flatulence and belching. Sweating from exertion.
Psychologically? Gluttony becoming my main personality facet, Emotionally coping with life problems and feelings through comfort eating, fragile will, lack of discipline, becoming a pathetic characterization of the stereotypical "Fat American" the way other nations might see people over here, a loop of arousal and self destruction, knowing I will forever be some obese hog till my death and that all my potential was wasted.
For me eating has bloomed into a weird source of arousal and pleasure. I'm morbidly curious to see myself spiral out of control as to get fatter and fatter without a clear limit. I ironically like myself but I also see things from a spiritual perspective of wanting to explore it instead of resist or ignore that kind of change.
Eating very well might be an addiction and coping mechanism but through the years my weight has yo yo'd if only due to being a poor NEET who's only ever worked off the books doing caretaking or work for room and board.
Mobility issues and health issues are scary, it's in a way really dark of a fetish but arousal and facination draw me like a moth to the flame or in this case a pig to the slaughter house. Sure I like the nicer aspects of feederism but I've always been a person with odd thoughts and feels.
That is my ideal feedee.
3 years
