General

Secret feeding in any form is stupid and wrong. Never do it. If you think about doing it. Stop it.

Why is this a problem, because this site is mostly just a shark tank and most of the people in it are sociopaths who don't know how to care about anyone else.

That's why.

i wholeheartedly agree. forcing any kind of physical change on someone without their consent is just plain wrong, regardless of the health impacts it can have on that person.

for those that do this, or even considering doing this, think about how you would feel if someone did the same to you without your knowledge or consent. you'd no doubt feel furious, bretrayed and hurt.

and if someone does participate consentually, they are also allowed to change their mind later on. if they need a break, decide they've had enough before they hit a goal, or it just stops being fun for them they are allowed to stop. it's their body, not yours, no matter what sort of d/s thing you might have going.

Disappointed but not surprised this doesn't have more attention and discussion. It's really chilling how often I see not-fantasy/hypotheticals about this exact topic.

Having the fantasy is fine (it's hot tbh?) but life is not fantasy. It's such a slippery slope that leads to all sorts of problems and none of them are really solvable the moment someone does something to another without their informed and enthusiastic consent.

Honestly it's such a serious issue that I don't even have any tolerance for someone who prioritizes having a gaining partner over anything else. If it's more important to you that someone gains in a "relationship" then you're not looking for a relationship, you're looking for an object.

Not only this but to put it bluntly, a ton of feeders and FAs do not have *any* idea what the hell they are doing or have any concept of either what it truly takes for someone to gain or how to maintain it and care for them—not just physically but emotionally and mentally. Invariably, they realize they hit a limit when the actual realities of having a fat/superfat/gaining partner come to the surface and they bail because surprise surprise, they weren't equipped to deal with anything beyond "hurr hurr must make someone bigger"

A lot of that has to do with social skills, which a lot of FAs have none for whatever reasons.

Were do we draw the line?
I mean is is obvious that changing the food of your sufficient other with ought them knowing is wrong as well as putting mental pressure and forcing the weight gain on someone.
That is Kind of easy to evaluate.

The problem arises when one part wants the overdone fat, but the the other part doesn’t want to become fat/fatter.
Were do we draw the line—> Is buying you GF Favorite snack wrong if she is happy you got it for here(ore even ask for it) but complains that her pants are not fitting ?

Is going to a buffet for date night wrong when you like it your self but know she can’t hold back ?

Etc.
love to hear what you think

That just simply boils down to kink negotiation. It's literally just about consent and limits and boundaries and who is okay with fantasy and reality mixing and when and where. Not having that conversation is dangerous and that's how people get hurt.

Pretty much. You also have to respect the other person if what they want changes. Their body, their choice. You gotta check in, have serious conversations, and be honest. If you think that's way too much work, then you aren't ready to be in a feedee feeder relationship.

If your feedee wants to be stuffed to the gills all day every day, that's great! Good for you. But if they don't? Then you gotta respect their boundaries.