Fat experiences

Yeah, get covid (this is a joke, obviously)

It all depends on yourself as stated "trying to suppress the urge will only make it worser"

The more you fight it the worse it gets.
All things balanced and sometimes giving in seems like a nice way to go.

As someone who is both queer and a feedist, I strongly disagree with feedism being "hardwired into your sexuality" because that is just... not how that works.

A kink is what feedism is for me. It's a lot of fun and I will generally always enjoy it and it's even my favorite! But it's not required for me for gratification.

A fetish means that it's *required* for sexual gratification. For many people, feedism is a fetish.

However, by saying it's "hardwired like sexual orientation" this is rather homophobic because it implies that something is "wrong" with not being straight and that's not hte case, and it also boils queerness simply down to sexual kink and fetishes which it's not. Being not-straight isn't a "lifestyle"—orientation is about a LOT more than sex, a lot more. Feedism always boils down to something involving sexual gratification and food.

Now, however, there are people who cannot stop themselves outside of sexual gratification and that's neither a kink or a fetish, that's something else and it requires a trained professional to assess. BUT I do think that people who are curious about it put way too much pressure on themselves—if you want to try gaining, try it. If you want to try feeding, try it (with a consenting party). You can revoke consent. you can change your mind. you can try other things. You don't have to go all in (and quite frankly you shouldn't, that's just my opinion).

You can try to curb it, but eventually you'll realise it's a matter of doing it or getting old and wandering if you should have let yourself do it. The unavoidable result of not letting yourself be someone you want to be is regret and frustration. You can always lose the weight if being fat doesn't end up being what you wanted, and if health is what worries you, remember it's always better to be fat now than when you're older. 10 years ago I had the perfect chance to become fat and I didn't do it. Now I'm making myself obese and nothing's stopping me. Maybe I'll lose it later in life if needed, but I really hope to stay obese for the rest of my days.

I've come to realise that whilst I can appreciate the beauty of certain women, I don't really get sexually aroused unless the girl has a bit of a belly, and if I hear that she's lost a whole bunch of weight recently as well that really kills the sexual attraction. Stuffing and gaining are hot but I can live without them.

You'd think that just looking to date a girl who's got a belly wouldn't be that difficult but it's really resticting because at least where I live girls are all either thin/muscular or way overweight, there are very few chubby girls and not with the pot belly look.

I used to think it was just a kink but I think it's more of a preference, the same way some guys would only date super thin girls.

I had to suppress my feedism desires for twenty-five years while serving in the military reserves. My outlet was padding, wearing tight clothes, tight briefs (I still wear tight briefs) and occasional mini binge. It also helped that my wife is a BBW weighing over two hundred pounds now, though slimmer in previous years. I have retired from the reserves and I'm now a casual gainer (thirty pounds in six years). I now have a forty-eight-inch waist and a pronounced bubble butt. I love it! My wife has not mentioned my gain to me, even though I make no effort to hide my increasing girth, in fact I make every effort to show it (my gain) off.

On the issue of "hard wired" I believe that I'm hard wired toward obesity in both myself and my partner. During sex long ago, I could only perform by imagining myself and my partner becoming morbidly obese.

Firstly - probably best to let them answer instead of you guessing

secondly, you are choosing to misunderstand the point I clearly indicated. Comparing a kink to sexual orientation diminishes and demonizes the orientation part, it makes it sound as though not-straightness is sexually deviant when it's not. That is, literally, homophobic, regardless of intention. It, as I said, implies that there is something "abnormal" about not being straight when there's not. It's completely normal.

Also, interestingly enough, we know that kinks aren't "hardwired" into us the way orientation is, and even then we know that orientation is more fluid that not, in a very broad sense. Kinks are just things our brains latch onto that inspire us to want to have sexual fun, they don't really have any meaning or morality, so intertwining them with something as complex as sexual oriention is damaging to both concepts. We can tell because a lot of us know that our tastes and kink desires do in fact shift over time, whether that's because of media we consume or situations we are exposed to, or whatever. It's a lot less hardwired than orientation, by a long shot, even if the foundation is there.

Oh spare me. I wasn't implying intent. I was literally explaining that "this can be harmful language and maybe we should try to find another"

the fact that you are taking it personally and choosing to not listen is your problem. You think "this doesn't bother me, a queer person, so you are also not allowed to be bothered by it" is not how that works. just because you do not understand my point doesn't mean mine is moot. I am genuinely trying to have a conversation here and explain why these two things are not alike and why it is harmful to both concepts. I am trying to actually *help* others understand that conflating these two things is a bad idea.

Attraction to "A fat body" is not an orientation. That is my point. You stated it yourself. Orientation is about full relational models between *people* not bodies. If the *person* does not matter to you—then the fat is simply a sexual object; not an orietnation. Conflating the two is. in fact. homophobic. The word you are looking for is "paraphilia"

I think she's too busy tilting at windmills

It's really not that egregious to draw a comparison between homosexuality and say attraction toward overweight people or even feederism if it's been an innate and inextricable part of your sexuality for as long as you can recall, as it has in my case.

Also, the current understanding is that there's no 'gay' gene - it's believed to be a combination of factors influencing sexuality - including exposure to certain substances in utero and early childhood experiences; that's quite possibly the case with lifelong fetishes as well.

There's evidence of structural differences between straight and gay brains, but in the context of sexual expression, it's not homophobic to draw a comparison

She's overstating the relational aspect too. My gay coworker is quite open about how he doesn't relate to 'gay culture' or lifestyle, he just likes fucking men and isn't physically attracted to women. He doesn't share any of the typical mannerisms or inflections - you wouldn't know he were gay unless he told you. In practice is that really so different to a lifelong attraction toward people with certain physical characteristics e.g. fat?

Semantically sexual orientation relates to gender preferences whilst fetishes are more of a typically non-sexual object or action that's integral to one's sexual gratification - so yeah feederism isn't a sexual orientation by definition (Call it a paraphilia if you must), but practically I don't see the issue with a comparison between sexual orientation and a lifelong fetish, even if lacks a bit of nuance.
It's certainly nothing to erupt over.

"she" is right here

and "she" is not erupting, "she" is responding to the blatant and constant misogyny, mansplaining and condescension from the majority of *checks notes* straight men who claim to understand what sexual orientation is about, majority straight men who have clearly never truly understood what it's like to *not* be straight or ever had to doubt or question it or have it *constantly* objectified for their pleasure and gratification at the expense of others.

"she" made a post in good faith, that, sorry not sorry, didn't kowtow to a dangerous and erroneous idea that can actually cause harm to people. "she" responded in kind to the dimissal and anger "she" received from the men furious with a woman for stating that no, they are not always right.

"she" does not owe you entertainment and good fun at parties to keep you pleased. "she" has a name.