General

I should preface this: I’m referring to myself mostly, but maybe it’s the same for others too. Feederism for me is a paraphilia (that’s when you can’t achieve orgasm without that fetish). And not only do I have this incredibly niche sexuality on top of BPD/GAD/ADHD and others I honestly can’t remember, so I’m not exactly easy to love. Does anyone have any thoughts about finding love with a paraphilia and mental illnesses?

Possible, yes.

Incredibly rare, also yes.

Most of us will be alone for the rest of our lives, or just keep this a secret and settle for someone else.

There aren't enough of us to go around. Lots of people, but not too many actually into it.

Most of the people here aren't really into the fetish, it's an act.

They are just looking for their preferences.

People who are into it, for real? Extremely rare. They will tell you they are. They will tell you all day but the truth. Not so much.

Basically, when you're in Rome, you do as
the Romans do. The real ones, they're special.

It is also sad that this is where the fetish comes to die, too. I can't tell you how many people I've talked to on here who've been just been catfished, lied to, abused in horrible ways just enough to give it up forever..or at least never trust anyone into it ever again, and for good reason.

I waited for 15 years to find someone I didn't have to hide this from because of how people react, and when I thought I finally did, I was too late.

The people of this place did what they tend to do the best. Destroy everything they get their hands on. It's a sad story and its one I'll have to live with forever, too.

I wouldn't hope too much. It breaks everyone who does.

Good luck, and if you DO get the chance. Don't waste it. Be grounded, realistic and honest. Don't make promises you know you can't keep. Don't be like the majority of the people on here.

It might never show up again and that is a regret that never goes away.

I am absolutely sure it is possible to find a flirt, sex or a relationship with this fetish.

Even though mostly I was not - and am not - actively seeking a new relationship I have already met several people into the fetish both here and in real life. And I am pretty sure some of the guys and gals I met here online on FF were into the fetish. Not just acting.

The true reason why a feedist relationship is scary is… well there ARE risks coming with such a relationship, just like it is the case with BDSM relationships etc. And with it being “scary”, many people don’t try it out of fear, preferring to only imagine the fetish images for masturbation or when having vanilla sex.

Just imagine - it is even possible to find someone who even has your exact fetish but from the other side, so that you two fit together like a puzzle.

But to find love is more difficult. I did though already in real life and had first experiences with the feedist theme in real life. Even in not openly feedist relationships there are aspects of the fetish that can be played with (nurturing, playful food sharing, enjoying a softer body because it just feels nice without other typical feedist tendencies). And hence I hope that it will be possible for you and a future partner or future partners.

It's definitely not impossible, but it is rare to find other people out there who are into this, or, if there are, they will be scared to mention it and you might even never get to find out.
I think your question is two-fold, 1. Can I find a love that fits my fetish. 2. Can I find a love while having things like ADHD.

The first one comes pretty much to luck, bumping into someone who's also into it,and that is not impossible but still hard to find.
The second one is no reason to feel discouraged, it is in fact, possible to find love. You say you may be someone who's hard to love, but altough things like ADHD can be impossible to make fully disappear, it's possible to learn how to manage it. And if the being hard to love part is about some kind of way you behave, well, you have that conscience now, and want to change it, and where there's a will there's a way and you're right on track

There seems to be a duplicate of this thread, so I am copying some of the replies over!


abreastfeedeeab - I think it's possible but difficult. i'm not going to pretend that i'm diagnosed with any disorder- but i can comment on having a niche fetish, and generally being someone that has a hard time relating to people.

It's not fun in general i guess. It's like being in a niche within a niche- so theyre isn't really a large pool of people to draw from. I can't say that I'm unloved though. I have friends and family still, and i just remind myself of that. and sometimes I think the problem is me- even when someone seems like they like me, i can't get over the barrier myself and i cant open up. i could be conditioned for self-sabotage at this point, but im now doing the "if it happens, it happens" thing with myself. I'm pretty conflicted with lots of things. not sure if thats helps at all, but hope you find something that makes you feel better about it!



HappyBigBelly - It’s absolutely possible to find love and prefer larger figures. Gotta get lucky and find that person who enjoys the attention it brings :-)



Sir Saphiel - There's been a number of such people in the community in the past who have found love, yes.

I'm submissive straight feedee man.

I have been looking to find female feeder online and in real life for +20 years. So far I have found 6 which I have been talking to online. I have been talking only to these women.

Never met a female feeder on IRL or even FA. I haven't been like hiting on dating circle hard.

I think female feeders are really rare in general, or when you find them distance is really long.

Don't give up hope thought but if you find female feeder to date in IRL, treat her really well & be nice because she is a really rare find.

I found love through this. Met her off of here even though she was modeling on Stuffer 31 and YouTube. Took her on a date in the Bronx, went to a FF meetup and spent the night together in Long Island, was my date for the 09 Jersey Bash and spent a night together as well.

I was in love with her but she apparently wasn't in love with me. 22 year old me was devastated but 35 year old me gets it. When you're young you don't always act the most mature and there's no right way to tell someone you don't love them back the same way.

If you're gonna fall for someone, make sure they feel the same about you. If someone falls for you and you dont feel the same way, don't ghost them, just tell them. Will save a lot of pain.

It is possible. I did. Then I lost it.
Don't lose hope x

I guess it depends what you are looking for exactly. While I've had this fetish most my life, my wife wasn't into it specifically. But, I told her all about it many many years ago and she was ok with it. It started at just me telling her I liked her bigger. So she kinda just let go and gained quite a lot over the years. Then I brought up that I wanted to gain too. Which she wanted too. As I've gained she has gotten more and more into it. Now we are in a mutual gaining relationship. Even though I'm the only one gaining so I can catch up to her.

So you could find love at a site like this with someone who is already into it all and knows all about the fetish. You could find someone who doesn't know about the fetish but is already a bigger person. Or likes bigger people. There are many variables and situations. But, as you can see with how many response and people on this site and others like it, there are people out there. Best wishes!

I think maybe broadening your interactions to include people who are sex positive and kink friendly is a good option. Their tolerance may be much higher than vanilla people and they may be more willing to play with this fetish.

And I know a lot of people with BPD, etc that are in loving relationships to include kinky ones.

Be wise but authentic, hone your relationship skills. Make sure you’re good at setting boundaries and communicating in healthy ways.

Make sure you’re falling for the person and that they’re actually compatible instead of compromising yourself to just have the fetish fulfilled.