General

If your having difficulties reconciling this fetish there’s a book called The Erotic Mind that you may find helpful.

It’s very interesting and quite reassuring.

I didn’t come to this fetish until I was in my 40s and while I have always been kinky and always exploring new things (thanks adhd!) my abusive exbf was a catalyst in me exploring this fetish and trying to reconcile the weight I’d gained and not allow his abuse to win.

And I believe it definitely helped turn what could have been very negative into something positive.

He was an awful human and definitely tried to use my weight gain to undermine my confidence instead I embraced it and turned it into something fun and was able to eventually leave him.

None of my other partners (I’m polyamorous) had any opinions about my weight one way or another but I found play partners that would indulge me in it… it really helped to take away the power from the shame he was trying to throw at me.

I know a lot of people struggle with this kink and the implications of it but I think as long as you indulge in it with someone else that also enthusiastically consents and wants to participate it’s perfectly ok.

Abuse and trauma can be really complicated to heal from, it took a lot of therapy to heal from my own experiences. It really helped me a lot with navigating my new relationships in much healthier ways, I’d really recommend therapy with someone that is trauma informed and kink friendly.

Thanks so much I was hoping there was a book out there but I haven't had much luck finding one.

Also thanks for sharing.
It was nice to hear a positive story.

Continue to be the beautiful human you are,
Shay.

Thanks for sharing Shay,

Trauma and fetishes are very difficult to link each can influence the other

My childhood was very similar to yourself with my mother also suffering and projecting her own trauma, myself I'm still working through the aftermath of coming to the understanding of my up bringing being fairly naive and relying heavily on coping mechanisms it's a reasonably large undertaking to rewrite 30 years of learnt behaviors.

I however think my enjoyment of the fetish for me comes from some life experiences coupled with my ADHD.
The love of food comes from the hormonal changes from eating, and the weight enjoyment on myself and others comes from experiences coupled with the food and what I personally find attractive.

I myself will embrace the fetish if and when the time comes for me health is top priority it's hard to explain to a patner that you want them and yourself to be fit,fat and as healthy as possible as I've had to many relationships where the fetish effects physical and mental health considerably I think they should always be priority and the balance of fitness,fatness and health are very individual.

My life experiences with the fetish have always been thing's that were unintentional things from a fat babysitter and family friends to being teased by a girl in school to dating a girl that was a closet feeder.

I'll add to this later on if and when I remember my ADHD is getting me off track, hope it makes sense.

Thanks
Jordan.

As much as I have tried to deny it over the years, I love being fat and getting fatter and I struggle constantly with self doubt about me wanting to get bigger, but I know at the end of the day it makes me happier. I want to know how it feels to really love my body which for me means gaining a bunch of weight

Thanks so much for sharing. I feel better knowing there is someone else out there with a similar story.

I hear you man.
I feel like there is always a trade of between meaningful experiences in life and longevity. Everything from the food we eat, to how we spend our time, to wether or not we chose to do drugs and which ones and in what way.

Thanks for sharing,
Shay