Submission and domination

I am a big dom guy,


Recently and after a chain of events I found myself really turned on by the idea of my fit girlfriend going with fit guy.

Nothing else turn me in since we have talked about. She did it twice with the same guys but she doesn’t want to be the only thing between us.

I am scared of loosing her

I am so lost

So, let me make sure I understand you.

You're a dom, but you get turned on being cuckolded by fit guys. Your girlfriend indulged in this fantasy for you a few times, but ultimately decided it's not for her.

You don't know how to indulge in this fantasy and keep your girlfriend at the same time, correct?

Kink negotiation is super important. And you need to realize not all kinks will be shared. Sometimes the other person is open to the kinks. Sometimes they aren't.

Your girlfriend seems to love you. She probably feels uncomfortable sleeping with someone else while she's with you. But she gave it a try to make you happy.

You're cuckolding fetish is best left in the fantasy realm. Have a talk with her. See if there's any way to incorporate that with your bed room activities. Do not try to persuade her. Just see what she's open to doing.

Thank you for your reply,

Sorry I was a bit emotional when I wrote my post.

Let me start from the beginning.

With my girlfriend we always had a very good relationship especially in the bedroom. We have start a while opening to each other our kinks and we had a lot of fun. It was mostly dom/sub fun.

A few weeks ago she admit to me that one of her customers was hitting on her quite hard and even if she don’t like the guy she was really sexually attracted to him. A very fit, muscular and masculine men. After discussion I told her that she should sleep with him, thinking that she will turn the page after that. She slept with him twice, sex was very average and she move about this fantasy she had.

The problem is that I did not, since she told me about him, I am obsessed with that, not in a jealous way but in a turned on way. Like a bomb in my libido I can only thing about that, nothing else matter.

She do not feel comfortable to continue having sex with other guy.

Before that I never thought of something like that even will all the fantasies and kink we have experienced or talked about.

How can I get over it ?

You don't necessarily need to get over it. If you can be happy with the fantasy aspect of it, and your girlfriend is comfortable with it, then that's fine.

But it sounds like you aren't as dom as you think you are. You may be a switch. Try being more submissive in the bedroom and see how you like it.

You certainly right, maybe I am switch or sub.

I just need to stopped being focus 100% on this cuckold thing. Maybe we will have more opportunities in the future. I just have to be patient.

Just to write it down and talk a little bit about it is a first step to leave peacefully with what happened. Thank you very much

Simple, because we both agree on it. And it was only one guy for the moment.

Thank you,

You are probably right I am going to move on and see what’s going to happen. We talked a lot about it and we have agreed that we will not do it again until and if she feel comfortable doing it. No pressure from my part. I just need to cool down

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but I think you were in the right here, Jsmjsm. A relationship is more than just sex. And from your second post it sounds like this is something she initiated. I think it would be hasty to judge that you had convinced her into this as some of the other posts imply.

I'm going to proceed under the assumption that she wanted to try to have sex with this other man in the first place and that's why she brought it up, and in the end you enjoyed it more than either of you expected.

The fact that you were both communicative enough to negotiate this with mutual consent is a good sign for your relationship; it seems unlikely that your fear of losing her over this would come to fruition as long as you continue talking about these things in the future and respect each others' boundaries.

I will gently suggest another alternative to leaving cuckolding in fantasy only. There are many people who are in relationships with someone with whom they don't share every kink and fetish; there are plenty, like me, who are on this site because our partners don't have an interest in feederism but are supportive of us pursuing it in more than just fantasy.

ENM can allow people to explore those tastes. It seems you're already practicing it, at least a little, if you and she agreed on her having sex with another man. You can apply the same to cuckolding. Talk to her about your options for exploring this kink with people outside of your relationship if it turns out to be something you can't just leave in fantasy without distress.