Lifestyle tips

Yeahlikethat:
Pretty much I mainly joined this website for advice. I get turned on by a girl gaining weight, doesnt have to be huge/ forced or anything just the idea of it. My girlfriend found out I was into this by going through my phone, she gets all kinda weird ideas in her head and now she said she wants to gain weight which just makes me feel guilty and generally I discorage it which makes her get confused and think I don't like her.

Thing is she wanted to lose weight when we met so the whole situation seems kind of backwards to me, if she actually wants to be in shape I don't want her to gain weight just for me (all be it though I would find it really hot).

I want to ask feedees if you all knew you wanted to gain weight since puberty type thing or did some of you genuinly have a complete mental switch during adulthood, if so was it because of a relationship or something else?

Yeahlikethat:
Pretty much I mainly joined this website for advice. I get turned on by a girl gaining weight, doesnt have to be huge/ forced or anything just the idea of it. My girlfriend found out I was into this by going through my phone, she gets all kinda weird ideas in her head and now she said she wants to gain weight which just makes me feel guilty and generally I discorage it which makes her get confused and think I don't like her.

Thing is she wanted to lose weight when we met so the whole situation seems kind of backwards to me, if she actually wants to be in shape I don't want her to gain weight just for me (all be it though I would find it really hot).

I want to ask feedees if you all knew you wanted to gain weight since puberty type thing or did some of you genuinly have a complete mental switch during adulthood, if so was it because of a relationship or something else?

PolyPinoyPuppy:
I actually would like like to say I respect you a lot for wanting your girlfriend continue to pursue her goals independently from your tastes. I'm in a similar boat, but my partner isn't the type to be deterred from their weight loss journey just because they know I have this kink; as for myself, I am really excited about their recent and future weight loss because I know how much it means to them.

As for your situation, I would suggest having a conversation with your girlfriend, if you haven't already, about her desires.

Ask her how she would feel about having gained weight if you weren't in the picture. At least for me, it's important that a feedee or gainer wants to participate in the kink for themselves first and that I share and help them reach their goals rather than being the sole motivator for their participation. You should explain as much to her if you feel the same way as I.

Ask her what she's looking forward to by getting in shape versus gaining weight, and talk about what she would have to give up in each case.

And assure her that you would be attracted to her at any size, and that you value her goals more than you value getting off to a kink. Let her know that you discourage her changing her goals entirely based on your kinks because you love her for the person she is, not the person she could be.

CookNFeedin:
Solid advice there. Talking to her is THE solution. That said, it's possible she's into this for her own kink, but I think the more likely cause for her being so quick to want to gain weight is the reason she was trying to lose it. If her only real reason for wanting to lose weight was just so she'd feel attractive, then this may be a bit of stress relief for her and she's just leaning into it. Either way talk to her clear the air, get motivation, and if this is something she really wants to pursue, remember informed consent is a thing. Make sure she knows what she's in for.

CookNFeedin:
Solid advice there. Talking to her is THE solution. That said, it's possible she's into this for her own kink, but I think the more likely cause for her being so quick to want to gain weight is the reason she was trying to lose it. If her only real reason for wanting to lose weight was just so she'd feel attractive, then this may be a bit of stress relief for her and she's just leaning into it. Either way talk to her clear the air, get motivation, and if this is something she really wants to pursue, remember informed consent is a thing. Make sure she knows what she's in for.

Yeahlikethat:
She defo wasn't looking to gain weight before, she wanted to lose it but as you said that was just to feel attractive (probably in instagram/ societies eyes). I would low key love it if this developed into a kink for her, but I doubt thats even possible and I dont want to force it.

The conversation has to happen, i'm quite an outgoing guy normally but when it comes to talking about this with her I kind of shrink haha. Thanks for your input, appreciated.

CookNFeedin:
Solid advice there. Talking to her is THE solution. That said, it's possible she's into this for her own kink, but I think the more likely cause for her being so quick to want to gain weight is the reason she was trying to lose it. If her only real reason for wanting to lose weight was just so she'd feel attractive, then this may be a bit of stress relief for her and she's just leaning into it. Either way talk to her clear the air, get motivation, and if this is something she really wants to pursue, remember informed consent is a thing. Make sure she knows what she's in for.

Yeahlikethat:
She defo wasn't looking to gain weight before, she wanted to lose it but as you said that was just to feel attractive (probably in instagram/ societies eyes). I would low key love it if this developed into a kink for her, but I doubt thats even possible and I dont want to force it.

The conversation has to happen, i'm quite an outgoing guy normally but when it comes to talking about this with her I kind of shrink haha. Thanks for your input, appreciated.

CookNFeedin:
Solid advice there. Talking to her is THE solution. That said, it's possible she's into this for her own kink, but I think the more likely cause for her being so quick to want to gain weight is the reason she was trying to lose it. If her only real reason for wanting to lose weight was just so she'd feel attractive, then this may be a bit of stress relief for her and she's just leaning into it. Either way talk to her clear the air, get motivation, and if this is something she really wants to pursue, remember informed consent is a thing. Make sure she knows what she's in for.

Yeahlikethat:
She defo wasn't looking to gain weight before, she wanted to lose it but as you said that was just to feel attractive (probably in instagram/ societies eyes). I would low key love it if this developed into a kink for her, but I doubt thats even possible and I dont want to force it.

The conversation has to happen, i'm quite an outgoing guy normally but when it comes to talking about this with her I kind of shrink haha. Thanks for your input, appreciated.

Munchies:
Feeder here. I'm glad you decided to have a conversation with her. This is good. I have some advice on how to go about it.

When you talk, I recommend going about it in a "I'm just curious" kind of way. Keep it light. Maybe, when you guys are cuddling or chilling together, ask her what she enjoys about gaining weight. Depending on what she says determines how the conversation will go.

Remember, don't put her one way or another. Let her be honest with you. And make sure you are actively listening to what she says.

Also, make sure your actions line up with your words. If you will love her at any size, make sure to show her that. Don't make all of your dates food related. Don't just feed her junk food. Keep her active by going on walks together. Nothing major. Just enough to show her that if she reversed course and decides she wants to loose weight, she knows you'll support her.