15 years
Tired of this
Dear Stormy
You are such a kind man, and such a good friend.
One of the hardest things I have ever learned myself is to accept what I like. I did not choose to like these specific things, nor did I choose to find reasons why I like the things I do.
I even made a video like 2 years ago about how evil feederism is, and how men should just accept fat women for how they look already.
I was told all this and thought it to be true- while at the same time stuffing my face once a week and constantly keeping old clothes to just "see how they fit" later on.Hypocrite.
I learned from a few kind feeders, and a select few feedees. They really showed me that this fetish, although not shared as widely as say BDS&M, is still something that is okay practiced by 2 consenting people.
BDS&M can get bad and unhealthy in certain situations. I know this as a fact, and can attest to it.As people say gainers are hurting themselves, so are those who bind the ropes tight, as are the ones who are flogged for hours.
Hell, even the men who like to be humiliated with women's clothing is doing damage.
I know it sounds easier said then done, but be happy for your friend who lost the weight because she is doing something for herself that she wants to do and that makes her happy.
It makes it easier to figure out that while she is making her self happy, she is not for you.More confirmation on what you do want and need in a relationship.
You personally have every right to be upset about it though, you have every right to see how what you are attracted to is not what you can find, and the frustration that follows.
I, like many of the posters here am sad for those who are thin and yet still consider themselves fat.I do not hate thin people though, even the nasty ones who are heartless, as there are fat people with that much hate inside as well.
I had an eating disorder when I was younger to lose a substantial amount of weight, everyone LOVED me. I was popular, and treated fairly.
Well, I was treated fairly by everyone but ME.
I hated myself, and what I had become.
I saw how I was connected to food, to live and how it made me feel.
I gained and continue to gain. I might have relapse occasionally, but I was over joyed like 3 weeks ago when I was crying my eyes out as I had lost 20 pounds due to being actually ill.Seeing how sad and hollow I thought I looked as one size smaller really made me see how we all put pressure on our selves to be more.
You can change who or what you are attracted to. Thank God though there are outlets for you, and people who are at least into the same things as you.Thank God you are honest and brave enough to admit what you like.
And on a side note...
Attraction must happen for the chemistry to even have a chance.
Saying that I understand the health risks I take when I eat another cake or stuff with pizza. I know if I were to lose weight I would be sad, but would only for health issues. I know I would lose admirers, and my boyfriend would lose some interest in me sexually *We have an open relationship were we can talk about anything and everything.*, but I understand that it is a fetish, and he would still love who I am. Sex might be awkward and at times robotic if I were thin... but his love and my love would still be there. Even if we broke up I would be okay because I would know in my heart I loved myself first, and still do.
The reluctance you would feel for someone medically losing weight is shared, I too would mourn.
I like to think of my requirements in a significant other is like a check list for potential love interests. Why waste your time or mine if it is not going to work out.
Fetishes included.Those who get through are special and dear.
**hugs**
Amatrix
You are such a kind man, and such a good friend.
One of the hardest things I have ever learned myself is to accept what I like. I did not choose to like these specific things, nor did I choose to find reasons why I like the things I do.
I even made a video like 2 years ago about how evil feederism is, and how men should just accept fat women for how they look already.
I was told all this and thought it to be true- while at the same time stuffing my face once a week and constantly keeping old clothes to just "see how they fit" later on.Hypocrite.
I learned from a few kind feeders, and a select few feedees. They really showed me that this fetish, although not shared as widely as say BDS&M, is still something that is okay practiced by 2 consenting people.
BDS&M can get bad and unhealthy in certain situations. I know this as a fact, and can attest to it.As people say gainers are hurting themselves, so are those who bind the ropes tight, as are the ones who are flogged for hours.
Hell, even the men who like to be humiliated with women's clothing is doing damage.
I know it sounds easier said then done, but be happy for your friend who lost the weight because she is doing something for herself that she wants to do and that makes her happy.
It makes it easier to figure out that while she is making her self happy, she is not for you.More confirmation on what you do want and need in a relationship.
You personally have every right to be upset about it though, you have every right to see how what you are attracted to is not what you can find, and the frustration that follows.
I, like many of the posters here am sad for those who are thin and yet still consider themselves fat.I do not hate thin people though, even the nasty ones who are heartless, as there are fat people with that much hate inside as well.
I had an eating disorder when I was younger to lose a substantial amount of weight, everyone LOVED me. I was popular, and treated fairly.
Well, I was treated fairly by everyone but ME.
I hated myself, and what I had become.
I saw how I was connected to food, to live and how it made me feel.
I gained and continue to gain. I might have relapse occasionally, but I was over joyed like 3 weeks ago when I was crying my eyes out as I had lost 20 pounds due to being actually ill.Seeing how sad and hollow I thought I looked as one size smaller really made me see how we all put pressure on our selves to be more.
You can change who or what you are attracted to. Thank God though there are outlets for you, and people who are at least into the same things as you.Thank God you are honest and brave enough to admit what you like.
And on a side note...
Attraction must happen for the chemistry to even have a chance.
Saying that I understand the health risks I take when I eat another cake or stuff with pizza. I know if I were to lose weight I would be sad, but would only for health issues. I know I would lose admirers, and my boyfriend would lose some interest in me sexually *We have an open relationship were we can talk about anything and everything.*, but I understand that it is a fetish, and he would still love who I am. Sex might be awkward and at times robotic if I were thin... but his love and my love would still be there. Even if we broke up I would be okay because I would know in my heart I loved myself first, and still do.
The reluctance you would feel for someone medically losing weight is shared, I too would mourn.
I like to think of my requirements in a significant other is like a check list for potential love interests. Why waste your time or mine if it is not going to work out.
Fetishes included.Those who get through are special and dear.
**hugs**
Amatrix
15 years
Tired of this
Melicious wrote:
You wanna know why I want to lose weight, I'll tell you. Because I'm getting married, and it's going to cost me thousands to have a dress tailored to my body as is, because I do not have a normal shape. I need all the help I can get, as there's not a lot of money to be spent on a dress, and if I can drop 4 dress sizes in 9 months, I'm looking as a substantial discount. After that, I can be completely free to do whatever I want again.
It all boils down to low self esteem, you either think you're hot, or you don't, point made. Fact is, nobody has any right to tell you what you should or shouldn't think, all bodies are beautiful, EVEN THE SKINNY ONES! I've NEVER as a large woman EVER had any issues with self esteem or how I looked, and I was absolutely TORTURED all through high school and college. My mother was the worst, she's never missed a beat to call me fat or ugly, to say she hated the way my hair looked, what I was wearing, make jokes about my makeup, or to point out that I'll be single for the rest of my life because no man will ever want me. That's about as low as you can get, and my mother has been like this all my life. She's also an abusive drunk. So yeah, if I can go through a home like that, there's no reason why everyone can't get help and make it through.
What I am is a beautiful woman, regardless of being big or small, and anyone that doesn't think so, can kiss my rosy red ***. As time will go on, I'll realize that with my family history of heart disease and diabetes, I won't be able to continue my lifestyle, but dammit I will enjoy it while I can. I am empowered, not because I'm fat, not because I'm confident, I am empowered, because I am a woman.
(And, as a side note, I think it's great that everyone has this website as a community to come together, meet and greet, and be able to find like minded individuals, but if you've got self esteem issues so low, that you've got an eating disorder, or you're harming yourself... You need to seek the help of a professional, and not a website forum.)
You wanna know why I want to lose weight, I'll tell you. Because I'm getting married, and it's going to cost me thousands to have a dress tailored to my body as is, because I do not have a normal shape. I need all the help I can get, as there's not a lot of money to be spent on a dress, and if I can drop 4 dress sizes in 9 months, I'm looking as a substantial discount. After that, I can be completely free to do whatever I want again.
It all boils down to low self esteem, you either think you're hot, or you don't, point made. Fact is, nobody has any right to tell you what you should or shouldn't think, all bodies are beautiful, EVEN THE SKINNY ONES! I've NEVER as a large woman EVER had any issues with self esteem or how I looked, and I was absolutely TORTURED all through high school and college. My mother was the worst, she's never missed a beat to call me fat or ugly, to say she hated the way my hair looked, what I was wearing, make jokes about my makeup, or to point out that I'll be single for the rest of my life because no man will ever want me. That's about as low as you can get, and my mother has been like this all my life. She's also an abusive drunk. So yeah, if I can go through a home like that, there's no reason why everyone can't get help and make it through.
What I am is a beautiful woman, regardless of being big or small, and anyone that doesn't think so, can kiss my rosy red ***. As time will go on, I'll realize that with my family history of heart disease and diabetes, I won't be able to continue my lifestyle, but dammit I will enjoy it while I can. I am empowered, not because I'm fat, not because I'm confident, I am empowered, because I am a woman.
(And, as a side note, I think it's great that everyone has this website as a community to come together, meet and greet, and be able to find like minded individuals, but if you've got self esteem issues so low, that you've got an eating disorder, or you're harming yourself... You need to seek the help of a professional, and not a website forum.)
I agree... if you are having self esteem issues or self harming issues... seek help.
I received many letters about it, and I wanted to let everyone know I am perfectly okay now.
Still gaining kids.
Mel-
You are a lovely woman and a very dear friend Mel.I am glad you are doing what makes YOU happy, as an ever source of delight and composure... I adore and applaud your writing.
Plus you are going to be the hottest bride ever. Big or small.
Here is to enjoying the life style while we can.
15 years
Tired of this
Societal pressure on people, especially women to be thin, and lose weight is insane! Everywhere you look there are ads for weight lose pills, diet fads, weight loss tricks, whatever. There are tons of appetite suppressants on the market but try to find an appetite stimulant. Good luck! I'm not into weight gain but I don't like all the societal pressure aimed at women to be thin. I like a soft curvy woman and the medical society and society in general is saying that's not good and it's not healthy. There are a lot of things that I don't agree with or like about our society but I can't do anything about it. Unfortunately. But as far as you stating "being tired of this", all I can say is you have to be true to yourself and what makes you happy. I don't think you should ever give up looking for what you NEED or WANT in a relationship. Stay on course! 
15 years
Tired of this
it's pretty rare, thank god. I have not seen it, but i know vascular surgeons who have seen people intentionally mangle limbs to have them amputated. For some reason dry ice seems to be the preferred method for ruining the limb.
I can't imagine getting my rocks off to that though. I'll gladly stick to girls with puffy midsections
I can't imagine getting my rocks off to that though. I'll gladly stick to girls with puffy midsections
15 years
Tired of this
Stormfury_4000 wrote:
So I'm really getting tired of this whole feederism fetish.
First of all, let me just say that I am proud of my love for curvy girls - I am now and always will be a big girl lover. I won't discriminate between skinny and thick chicks and would be proud to have a girlfriend of any size (barring anorexic girls). Curves are a sign of health to me
My issue lies with wanting a girl I'm with to gain weight - as I'm sure you all have figured out, 99.9% of the population wants nothing to do with gaining weight on purpose in the first place, let alone doing it for enjoyment or sexual reasons. Nevertheless, seeing or getting a female to grow fatter and eat a lot is pretty much the only thing that will really turn me on. And I'm sick of this.
An old friend of mine, who is on Facebook, had dropped a few pant sizes and proudly displayed pictures of that loss. But my first reaction wasn't happiness for her - it was a deep bitterness that rooted itself in my heart every time I thought about that. As a result, this is what I now associate her with and while it has not (yet) tainted my friendship with her and I think she's a great girl, I am having an extremely hard time dislodging that dissapointment I feel.
So basically, the problem is this: I have a fetish that goes against what almost everyone believes in healthwise. People I've developed relationships with (aside from a few) have said it was "interesting" at best. Granted, I am still a virgin and have had relatively little sexual contact with women, but I am at least a little experienced in that area. And I'm sick and tired of both women who hate their curves and want to loose them, and my interest in expanding those curves and not wanting a girl to loose them. Weight loss is one of my huge pet peeves, and while I'm better now than I was before, it still pissed me off.
ARGH. *Headdesk* I suspect my conflict with this is not limited to myself. I'm sure lots of people here have the same issue, but it doesn't make it easier to deal with. I know I'm stuck with this fetish/interest, and I know there's no way out. And I'm not going to be able to change it, ever.
Sorry for the rant - I know there's no real solution to this. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
So I'm really getting tired of this whole feederism fetish.
First of all, let me just say that I am proud of my love for curvy girls - I am now and always will be a big girl lover. I won't discriminate between skinny and thick chicks and would be proud to have a girlfriend of any size (barring anorexic girls). Curves are a sign of health to me
My issue lies with wanting a girl I'm with to gain weight - as I'm sure you all have figured out, 99.9% of the population wants nothing to do with gaining weight on purpose in the first place, let alone doing it for enjoyment or sexual reasons. Nevertheless, seeing or getting a female to grow fatter and eat a lot is pretty much the only thing that will really turn me on. And I'm sick of this.
An old friend of mine, who is on Facebook, had dropped a few pant sizes and proudly displayed pictures of that loss. But my first reaction wasn't happiness for her - it was a deep bitterness that rooted itself in my heart every time I thought about that. As a result, this is what I now associate her with and while it has not (yet) tainted my friendship with her and I think she's a great girl, I am having an extremely hard time dislodging that dissapointment I feel.
So basically, the problem is this: I have a fetish that goes against what almost everyone believes in healthwise. People I've developed relationships with (aside from a few) have said it was "interesting" at best. Granted, I am still a virgin and have had relatively little sexual contact with women, but I am at least a little experienced in that area. And I'm sick and tired of both women who hate their curves and want to loose them, and my interest in expanding those curves and not wanting a girl to loose them. Weight loss is one of my huge pet peeves, and while I'm better now than I was before, it still pissed me off.
ARGH. *Headdesk* I suspect my conflict with this is not limited to myself. I'm sure lots of people here have the same issue, but it doesn't make it easier to deal with. I know I'm stuck with this fetish/interest, and I know there's no way out. And I'm not going to be able to change it, ever.
Sorry for the rant - I know there's no real solution to this. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
The best possible way to deal with this is to make sure that you know what your feelings for this girl are. If you are feeling bitter and getting bummed out about it every time you think of her then maybe your feelings need to have a second look. If you want to keep her as a friend then it would be best to have no confusion at all as to what she means to you.
15 years