Gaining

Let's say someone is on the fence about gaining. They already know the possible downsides. What would you tell them about the upsides?

In your own case, was there some event that decided you to start? What was it?

After you started gaining, was there some experience that confirmed you'd made the right choice?

If you're still gaining, what inspires you to continue?

If they're on the fence, then they've thought about it, which is more than most.
I'd emphasize size, clothes and booths becoming tight, and socially, you'll find friends who understand being fat, if not gaining on purpose.
I started really eating to gain in college. There was an always open buffet near my room.
In a weird way, I felt I'd made the right choice when I became the fattest in my already hefty family.
I keep gaining because I'm still hungry.

It is nice being able to eat what you want and when you want without feeling bad about it. you look beautiful. Are you in college?

I love chocolate covered cherries candy.

- being soft feels really really good
- having a much larger appetite is satisfying if you enjoy eating (because you get to do it a lot more and people will give you food)
- it looks cute af
- if you stay active then you get stronger legs
- demand more of a presence
- you develop more erogenous zones and they become more sensitive, making sex more enjoyable

this is a great conversation!

well into adulthood i was a gym guy, and it was a kind of lifestyle for me, as it is for many. some will call it being dedicated and disciplined, but really a lot of it just a routine. you just get used to it.

well into adulthood (i was 39 or 40?) i met someone who started to open my eyes to a different kind of lifestyle. i started to learn from her, the enjoyment of indulgence. food as pleasure rather than nourishment. while it wasn't a straight line, and there was some self doubt and angst along the path, what i learned eventually was that this other lifestyle brought me more joy than the gym grind i'd been following for decades.

that, to me, is the great advantage, being fat is kind of an ancillary perk (and sometimes an unpleasant consequence, but by and large it is positive).

getting fat also helped me discover my submissive side, i am not sure how that fits in.

I don't encourage people to gain so much as inspire then to find their happiness. I've helpes people decide that they wanted to get super fat, just a few pounds, lose weight, maintain or even get muscular and cut.

I used to be a gainer. It wasn't a sexual thing though. (For whatever reason, if I get horny, I lose my appetite.) So I got to be more grounded in my efforts. I was a super skinny woman who put on 50-ish lbs. I stopped because I was finally happy with my body.

For people unsure if they want to gain, or are afraid to start, I ask two questions: Why do you want to gain? What's stopping you from gaining?

A lot of times, people who are on the fence do want to gain, but there's some sort of social based fear. And most of the time, it's an imagined consequence or they are putting themselves in a situation they don't need to be in (e.g. dating someone who's toxic, shallow, and controlling or not having/enforcing boundaries in their life).

I agree with all of this! Great list, Mitch!

When I first started "gaining" it was very careful. It took years to go from about 140 to 170lbs. I was balancing building muscle and trying to not being afraid of some softness. 🥺 I always fantasized about giving in but with my OCD (and tbh, some nervousness) I kept a firm grip on control.

Then I got an injury this summer that landed me on the couch for two months now. It had a bigger impact on me than I expected. I talked to S/O about going for it, gaining as much as I can for two months (see my Game post) and I'm halfway through.

This injury is bashing that need to be soooo in control all the time. (I can't will myself to heal faster! 😂) I had to give in. My OCD is *much* better, I'm calmer, happier, I feel sexier already and I know I haven't gained a LOT (yet) but... It's like I found a new version of me. I will go back to the gym because I like being strong, but damn I like getting fatter, too.

I'm looking forward to people's reactions when I go back to regular life. LOL!