General

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

As someone who knows a bit about programming, (just to add a bit to the conversation) there have to be some serious tradeoff. For example if that hypothetical place is built in a way that is really hard to start the conversation, but then much much easier to contuine, the effortless attempts will be cut off because they're simply not worth it.
Realistically speaking, that's the only way this could work out! It does sound like it's counterintuitive, since it's something to serve a community but these bad behaviors only happen because they're low cost, high reward ones.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

I'd also love to question the more... aggressive, opinions but since this is a hypothetical question about an ideal world, i guess it's not the place to do that.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
I'd also love to question the more... aggressive, opinions but since this is a hypothetical question about an ideal world, i guess it's not the place to do that.


Enas, with peace and love, but you are missing the forrest for the trees.

Remember our conversation over the weekend?
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
I'd also love to question the more... aggressive, opinions but since this is a hypothetical question about an ideal world, i guess it's not the place to do that.

Munchies:
Enas, with peace and love, but you are missing the forrest for the trees.

Remember our conversation over the weekend?

Wich one do you mean?
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
I'd also love to question the more... aggressive, opinions but since this is a hypothetical question about an ideal world, i guess it's not the place to do that.

Munchies:
Enas, with peace and love, but you are missing the forrest for the trees.

Remember our conversation over the weekend?

Enas:
Wich one do you mean?


About listening? About deductive reasoning?

Think about what people are saying on this thread. The most common thing in this thread is that there are too many men who do not make women, femmes, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people feel safe. This specific group of people are talking about what a safe space for us looks like.

So, for you, a man, to say that this is a useless endevor - that we must put up with this because it's for the best - is super insulting.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

I'm not saying this is useless. More so, i think it's interesting! Otherwise i whouldnt put the effort to write. Im just suggesting something that will actually (most likely) work, with the goal of making the overall experience as good as possible for women / non-binary / transgender people.
And questioning the more aggressive opinions is aimed (amongst other things to help people understand that simple ideas to complex solutions are often the worst ones.

Plus im sorry if what i have in my mind comes up as something that feels offensive in my writing. That's not the goal here!
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
I'm not saying this is useless. More so, i think it's interesting! Otherwise i whouldnt put the effort to write. Im just suggesting something that will actually (most likely) work, with the goal of making the overall experience as good as possible for women / non-binary / transgender people.
And questioning the more aggressive opinions is aimed (amongst other things to help people understand that simple ideas to complex solutions are often the worst ones.

Plus im sorry if what i have in my mind comes up as something that feels offensive in my writing. That's not the goal here!


Enas, since you are not the target audience, it is best that you just listen to what people are saying. I see stuff in the forums all the time that I am not the target audience for. When that happens, I am very careful about how I approach things - if I even approach it at all. Even moreso if I am part of a dominant group.

For example, I am cishet. If I see trans people talking about their lived experiences, I check my privledge and do what I can to be an ally.

Another example: I am black. If I see some Asian people talking about their lived experiences, I make sure that I listen more than I speak. As a black woman, I may empathize and identify with certain things, but I am still an outsider.

You did not approach this as a man who wants to better understand a situation and have productive conversations. You approached with your blinders on, full of biases, and just ... disregarded what people were saying.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
I'm not saying this is useless. More so, i think it's interesting! Otherwise i whouldnt put the effort to write. Im just suggesting something that will actually (most likely) work, with the goal of making the overall experience as good as possible for women / non-binary / transgender people.
And questioning the more aggressive opinions is aimed (amongst other things to help people understand that simple ideas to complex solutions are often the worst ones.

Plus im sorry if what i have in my mind comes up as something that feels offensive in my writing. That's not the goal here!

Munchies:
Enas, since you are not the target audience, it is best that you just listen to what people are saying. I see stuff in the forums all the time that I am not the target audience for. When that happens, I am very careful about how I approach things - if I even approach it at all. Even moreso if I am part of a dominant group.

For example, I am cishet. If I see trans people talking about their lived experiences, I check my privledge and do what I can to be an ally.

Another example: I am black. If I see some Asian people talking about their lived experiences, I make sure that I listen more than I speak. As a black woman, I may empathize and identify with certain things, but I am still an outsider.

You did not approach this as a man who wants to better understand a situation and have productive conversations. You approached with your blinders on, full of biases, and just ... disregarded what people were saying.

I'm confused, to wich part of what i said are you referring to exactly? :o
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
I'm not saying this is useless. More so, i think it's interesting! Otherwise i whouldnt put the effort to write. Im just suggesting something that will actually (most likely) work, with the goal of making the overall experience as good as possible for women / non-binary / transgender people.
And questioning the more aggressive opinions is aimed (amongst other things to help people understand that simple ideas to complex solutions are often the worst ones.

Plus im sorry if what i have in my mind comes up as something that feels offensive in my writing. That's not the goal here!

Munchies:
Enas, since you are not the target audience, it is best that you just listen to what people are saying. I see stuff in the forums all the time that I am not the target audience for. When that happens, I am very careful about how I approach things - if I even approach it at all. Even moreso if I am part of a dominant group.

For example, I am cishet. If I see trans people talking about their lived experiences, I check my privledge and do what I can to be an ally.

Another example: I am black. If I see some Asian people talking about their lived experiences, I make sure that I listen more than I speak. As a black woman, I may empathize and identify with certain things, but I am still an outsider.

You did not approach this as a man who wants to better understand a situation and have productive conversations. You approached with your blinders on, full of biases, and just ... disregarded what people were saying.

Enas:
I'm confused, to wich part of what i said are you referring to exactly? :o


Tell me, Enas. You mentioned aggressive opinions and talked about the feasibilty of this hypothetical safe space. What was your goal with that?
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Someone said that there could be a website that won't allow men in it (something like that)
That's what i was referring to. Apart from what might seems obvious, there is a big problem when trying to exclude a specific group of people from somewhere on the internet. It's not the real world. You can ban computers, as in the devises themselves from accessing but you cannot really ban a human from that place. Only make it harder for them to access. It's much easier to only include a specific group and exclude anyone else altho that's still not safe, technically speaking.
That's why i said that this is not a good idea. But if there is an ideal world then this doesn't make sense because it only hides the problem of men feeling like you owe them something. (as Miachu put it)
Whouldnt it be actually better if this was entirely solved? In an ideal world that whould happen, i think!
That's my one point. The other is i saw what everyone said and noticed it was indeed on topic. What that place whould look like. I just wanted to also answer the question that nobody asked; what whould it's mechanism work like! Maybe I'll give other people ideas and they might write them too! And somebody might actually work with it! Again I'm suggesting how it could work. Not how it whould feel to the end user.
Please, do try to challenge my idea! I'd love to see its flaws and think of how it can be improved!
Uhm, does this make sense now? 😅
2 years
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