For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Joined 17 years

Ditzy:
Keep in mind you will get hate,racism and bigotry from all strata of society don't single out white people.
....Hate and bigotry are a learned thing usually comes from their parents.

I don't want to derail the thread because this is about what makes a space SAFE for the people mentioned in the title. Munchies didn't single out white people, she mentioned a specific type of white person. If it doesn't apply to you then you don't need to worry about it.

If you understand that hate and bigotry are taught, then perhaps it would be wise to think about what hate and bigotry *you* were taught also and how that carries out in these conversations.

But let's get back to the topic at hand. And if you don't want to participate that's totally cool and best of luck!

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Mogus92

Joined 3 years

Munchies:
I'm sorry that happened to you. I just want people not to threaten to kill me or rape me/my family becuase I am a WOC.[/quote]

Just like anyone, and so you need moderation, not to ban/restrict access preventively to people because we assume that they belong to a certain group of person. The group of persons you’ve mention are most likely not the one that would threaten you because you are a woman/black

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Ditzy

Joined 11 years

Ditzy:
Keep in mind you will get hate,racism and bigotry from all strata of society don't single out white people.
....Hate and bigotry are a learned thing usually comes from their parents.

LoraDayton:
I don't want to derail the thread because this is about what makes a space SAFE for the people mentioned in the title. Munchies didn't single out white people, she mentioned a specific type of white person. If it doesn't apply to you then you don't need to worry about it.

If you understand that hate and bigotry are taught, then perhaps it would be wise to think about what hate and bigotry *you* were taught also and how that carries out in these conversations.

But let's get back to the topic at hand. And if you don't want to participate that's totally cool and best of luck!

No problem I won't comment anymore.

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Miachu

Joined 4 years

We can't have nice things

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Miachu

Joined 4 years

I will say this,

I don't think some men realise just how much women have to put up with. From having to deal with in real life harassment to online also. heck i got assaulted by a man the other day, simply for doing my job

So many guys message us, asking for pics, because they want to know what you look like. When you decline them, they then instead of respecting your decision, beginning to question you, asking why? Making you feel like you need to justify yourself to them.
And same goes when they ask to message somewhere else, you respectfully say no, but then they begin to ask you why, and try and purswade you to message some place else.

I think a start to having a safe space, would to let people learn how to be a bit more respectable towards women as a whole, seeing us more as something they can maybe hook up with, the amount of random guys on here who have asked me out not long into a convo is beyond silly now, and even just recently, a guy telling me these "scenarios" if we where to date and stuff like that. It's honestly beginning to become so draining at this point, that I mostly just ignore men now on here, because 90% of the time, it's something I've experienced before from them. Just pushing stuff onto you, without you asking them to

It's just time we all have to learn some manors and respect

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Munchies:
I'm sorry that happened to you. I just want people not to threaten to kill me or rape me/my family becuase I am a WOC.

Mogus92:
Just like anyone, and so you need moderation, not to ban/restrict access preventively to people because we assume that they belong to a certain group of person. The group of persons you’ve mention are most likely not the one that would threaten you because you are a woman/black[/quote]

Based on my lived experience, that's actually not true. This group is more likely to threaten me.

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Miachu:
I will say this,

I don't think some men realise just how much women have to put up with. From having to deal with in real life harassment to online also. heck i got assaulted by a man the other day, simply for doing my job

So many guys message us, asking for pics, because they want to know what you look like. When you decline them, they then instead of respecting your decision, beginning to question you, asking why? Making you feel like you need to justify yourself to them.
And same goes when they ask to message somewhere else, you respectfully say no, but then they begin to ask you why, and try and purswade you to message some place else.

I think a start to having a safe space, would to let people learn how to be a bit more respectable towards women as a whole, seeing us more as something they can maybe hook up with, the amount of random guys on here who have asked me out not long into a convo is beyond silly now, and even just recently, a guy telling me these "scenarios" if we where to date and stuff like that. It's honestly beginning to become so draining at this point, that I mostly just ignore men now on here, because 90% of the time, it's something I've experienced before from them. Just pushing stuff onto you, without you asking them to

It's just time we all have to learn some manors and respect

Horror Doll:
Exactly!

This is why we need a safe space for women, enbies and gender non conforming with no men whatsoever!

Even good men won't be allowed because they should know how people like us suffer from creepy men!

Only question would be now is if transgender men would be allowed?

A couple of other people mentioned this, but I want to say my piece.

I also find it problematic to exclude people by gender. Not only is it impractical, but I find the ethics questionable.

A few scenarios to consider:

A woman who came to this safe space discovers that she is actually trans. If he comes out, he would lose his safe space

Transwomen who are early into their transition, cannot afford to medically transition, or choose not to medically transition, could not enjoy the safe space.

This safe space would be riddled with TERFs.

Masculine-aligned non-binary people would be excluded - especially if they were amab.

Gender non-conforming amab people could not enjoy the safe space.

It would require people to prove their gender. This means you would need to have government documents to join a fetish site. Plus, not everyone is able to provide that - especially the poor.

People attracted to women or feminine presenting people could safely enjoy the dating/hook up culture on this site. People attracted to men would have to go elsewhere - defeating the purpose of the site.

I hope you can understand my position.

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Alone

Joined 16 years

Even good men won't be allowed because they should know how people like us suffer from creepy men!

No good thing ever started with exclusion.

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Malvineous

Joined 18 years

Personally, I'm not bothered with women making a girls only club if they want to. Although, I think the objections Munchies raised are all valid.

Bumble has a mechanism for preventing men from messaging first. There are also women-only facebook groups, subreddits, forums, etc. Maybe the safe space you're looking for already exists in some form?

That's not meant to discourage whatever this project is. I'm still not sure what someone is supposed to do on the site, other than feel safe. Is it for discussion, microblogging, networking, dating, or what? Knowing what it's specifically for could change your method of moderating it.

2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Krystal Saphira:
I had realized long ago that there is no such place as a "safe place". Some places are just safer than others and we all do our best to keep our own selves safe.

I have known Ditzy for many years. I have never felt unsafe around her. Understanding can go in more than one direction. Thank you.

Ditzy isn't really the focus here. No one said they felt safe or unsafe around her.

What happened was *I* said that as a WOC, a very specific group of white people were problematic. Ditzy misunderstood what I said and thought I was attacking white people as a whole and got upset.

She further misunderstood the point of the thread (what would a hypothetical safe space look like) and said all voices should be heard. She also mentioned I should just block people that I find threatening.

Lora Dayton then clarified to Ditzy that I wasn't attacking white people as a whole and what the purpose of this thread is. And the matter was dropped.

That's all this was. A case of misunderstanding and getting upset due to the misunderstanding. No one thought that Ditzy was unsafe to be around.

2 years

General

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?