Lifestyle tips

Next time it happens say, "You are being very rude right now. I just like food, and I am happy with my body. So unless my weight is actively causing me problems, I don't want to here it."

Also, I find these people kinda insane. I work out every single day - sometimes more than once. I don't have an ED. I just like being active. I don't strain myself or push to the point of exhaustion. I'm not trying to lose weight either. It just makes me happy.

Yeah, the last time Lisa went for a health checkup they told her she needed gastric bypass surgery right away.

Not because of any health issues, but just because she's so big. Happily, she's so comfortable and not so easily swayed that she shrugged them off completely.

I'M the one that got really mad about the invasiveness and bodily destruction of the idea.

Keep in mind that pushing people to weight loss is very lucrative in the medical industry, not just the health and fitness industry. Doctors are always keen to tell you all about the negative health impacts that being over weight are going to cause you and to push you, often insistently, toward weight loss solutions like gastric bypass surgery and referring you to a long list of specialists based solely on the numbers they see on the scale.

What they won't always be as upfront about are the negative impacts some of those solutions can also have on your health. Weight loss surgery, for example, has a very high success rate for weight loss. It forces you to eat at a calorie deficit for basically the rest of your life. What they gloss over is the risk of malnutrition because your digestive system can't fully absorb nurients as well anymore, the tiredness because you are barely consuming enough calories for basic bodily functions, the regular constipation because you aren't eating enough to move waste through your intestines fast enough, so too much water is reabsorbed as it slowly migrates through, not to mention some of the mental health impacts such a durastic change on your body can have.

Risks aside, weight loss surgery is expensive, as is seeing a specialist. Health professionals are constantly upselling and cross selling weight loss solutions because it makes them a lot of money. In some cases, sure, those solutions may be needed to make necessary changes quickly enough to save your life. But your weight isn't the only factor they should be considering when making that kind of reccomendation. Blood pressure, blood sugur, cholesterol, liver and kidney function, and other underlying health issues and complications should all be monitored before suggesting something extreme.

The obvious bias toward fat bodied people is infuriating, as is how ingrained fatphobic culture is in the medical industry. It's so bad that the term "obesity paradox" exists to try to explain why being overweight can sometimes have positive health and recovery impacts. The idea that someone can be fat and be healthy is too ridiculous a concept for the medical industry to accept; easier to write that scenario off as a paradox that than to change the way the medical industry thinks of and treats overweight people.

I should probably add that I'm not sayng that being fat = healthy either. Again, it depends on the individual and many, many other factors that need to be considered. But there is a need for medical professionals to shift their thinking and treatment of fat people, because assuming their overweight status is the cause of any and all health issues instead of considering it could be a symptom of something else has meant an awful lot of fat people haven't gotten treatment they needed, or received treatment too late, for somerthing that could have been found if doctors and specialists didn't just write them off as "unhealthy because obese" and just tell them "lose weight and you'll get better."

Occasionally you'll find doctors that will focus on particular points of concern instead of just the fact your fat. For example, a good doctor will look at your bloodwork results and if your cholesterol or blood pressure is high they'll tell you those are a bit of a concern. They'll ask you about your diet, won't be judgemental about your response, and will likely advise that you might want to reduce your salt and fried foods intake and instead try to include more foods with good cholesterol while also encouraging you to try to be more active by going on daily walks or taking up swimming. There's a chance that these changes could result in some weight loss, but weight loss isn't the goal - improving your cholesterol and blood pressure is.

That's the difference. A good, understanding doctor won't try to make you feel bad or guilty for being the way you are; they'll try to work with you to improve your health by investigating and targeting the actual issue instead of just telling you that losing weight is the cure-all.

Yeah, there's no quick and easy answer and it really depends person by person. You have to listen to each other and be honest.

Some people are clearly fat because they're miserable, and miserable because they're fat, and once they bust out of the vicious cycle they've fought back their lives. Some people are damaging their health, but don't mind because it's what they enjoy and they decided there's more to life than just running out the clock.

By sheer accident though, I ended up finding The Feeder Unicorn. Neither of us realized it at first. Someone whose health improves with extreme weight gain. Even if it makes her life a lot less convenient.