InfamyUnderdog:
I apologize in advance if this post is a mess
For some background: I dated my girlfriend for almost a year and she put on roughly 30 pounds passively during that time (from 180 to 220), but she has always struggled with her self confidence and got better with appreciating how she looked over that period of time along with my help reassuring her that she is beautiful and attractive no matter her size. she knows that I'm a feeder and how I enjoy indulging in feederism, but never wanted to gain intentionally. we broke up for roughly 6 months which was my fault, and which I regret because I do love her and care for her. Come to now, are we are trying to get back together because we both still have very strong feelings for one another but she is taking things slow to build before we start dating again to trust in me just incase if I will leave again (which I do not plan to do).
She is aware that I find fat women attractive and beautiful, including herself, and my desire to want to be her feeder, but she doesn't want to gain more and now wants to start losing weight because she claims that it will make her happy. However she claims that she always want to make me happy, knowing that a feeder/feedee relationship will make me overjoyed, but still doesn't want to practice it. It seems like she has tendencies that made me initially question if she was a closeted feedee when we first started dating and still do such as: belly rubs, eating lots of food at once, and feeling full. Just recently she has agreed that I can do a small feeding/stuffing with her in order to satisfy my fetish and when we are intimant she likes to let me verbally indulge in the kink such as talking about the fetish and how I want to feed her because it turns her on if I'm turned on. I get upset afterwards because I know the talk is just for show and she doesn't want to act on it and she is aware of this as well.
I do want her to be happy and I will do my best to make her happy because I love her, but I have no idea if she will ever want to try gaining in the future if she feels more comfortable and safe with me. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or affirmation, but I guess I'm looking for other peoples opinion on my situation. Feel free to ask questions if you have them or if I need to clarify anything.
I apologize in advance if this post is a mess
For some background: I dated my girlfriend for almost a year and she put on roughly 30 pounds passively during that time (from 180 to 220), but she has always struggled with her self confidence and got better with appreciating how she looked over that period of time along with my help reassuring her that she is beautiful and attractive no matter her size. she knows that I'm a feeder and how I enjoy indulging in feederism, but never wanted to gain intentionally. we broke up for roughly 6 months which was my fault, and which I regret because I do love her and care for her. Come to now, are we are trying to get back together because we both still have very strong feelings for one another but she is taking things slow to build before we start dating again to trust in me just incase if I will leave again (which I do not plan to do).
She is aware that I find fat women attractive and beautiful, including herself, and my desire to want to be her feeder, but she doesn't want to gain more and now wants to start losing weight because she claims that it will make her happy. However she claims that she always want to make me happy, knowing that a feeder/feedee relationship will make me overjoyed, but still doesn't want to practice it. It seems like she has tendencies that made me initially question if she was a closeted feedee when we first started dating and still do such as: belly rubs, eating lots of food at once, and feeling full. Just recently she has agreed that I can do a small feeding/stuffing with her in order to satisfy my fetish and when we are intimant she likes to let me verbally indulge in the kink such as talking about the fetish and how I want to feed her because it turns her on if I'm turned on. I get upset afterwards because I know the talk is just for show and she doesn't want to act on it and she is aware of this as well.
I do want her to be happy and I will do my best to make her happy because I love her, but I have no idea if she will ever want to try gaining in the future if she feels more comfortable and safe with me. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or affirmation, but I guess I'm looking for other peoples opinion on my situation. Feel free to ask questions if you have them or if I need to clarify anything.
Sounds to me like she's doing her best to accommodate a fetish you have that she doesn't have. She has body issues, but she's still trying for your sake. You don't come across as appreciative of her effort. You come across as being upset she isn't doing more for you.
She clearly still loves you, but you've hurt her before. This is why she wants to go slow.
You have to put the person first and your fetish second. And if you can't do that, you'll never be in a happy relationship - even if you date a full-blown feedee.
1 year
