AnorexicPretty:
I have a very recent history with anorexia, in fact I just started recovering about a year and a half ago. I am not fat, at least not yet, but I did gain 45 pounds in the last year. So I can say something about the gaining experience at least.
For me, it is a wonderful feeling of having a real, physical body. I enjoy moving, I feel no pain when I sit, and my mind isn’t occupied with poisonous anorexic thoughts. I love my curves - and I have some curves finally, I am finally successful in my romantic life, dating polyamorously, with very lovely men at my side who love me for who I am, and not for my model-like emaciated „perfect“ non-body.
Gaining is quite difficult for me. I learned to eat huge amounts by now but my metabolism is - despite many, many years of anorexia - high as f***. So I need to use tricks like heavy cream to gain at all. But I love the feeling of being alive that I have now. And I think gaining more will give me even more of this wonderful feeling. I do not regret gaining this pounds at all, and the only thing that I mourn is the fact that it is more difficult to find Gothic Lolita clothing and short shorts in bigger sizes and from a previous gaining experience (yeah I had a relapse, that’s anorexia, it never leaves completely because it is actually born of the wish to control the uncontrollable world, and I have still to reach the weight I once already was at) I know that I am now in the highest size range of my favorite brands. Not impossible, though. I am also adept at sewing so if I can’t buy it then I can make it. But still, cute clothes are more available in smaller sizes. Sadly.
I'm so sad about outgrowing most of my lolita coords. Even if I manage to lose a little, realistically the skirts will never fit me anymore. They were already tight when I was much thinner (my waist was 26 inch around and not it's at least 30 inch, I don't want to check it freaks me out).
