General

I understand the mindset.

I didn't tell the first fat guy I dated. He was quite large when we first met. And as soon as I showed interest in him, he started getting in shape. I didn't mind the weight loss. He looked good. But I felt like telling him would be a burden.

The relationship ended for unrelated reasons, but I often wonder about what could have been.

Since then, I've made it a point be more open about my kinks. But I don't dump them on my partner all at once. I ease them into things. Seems to be working out for me.

Only you will know what is right or wrong for you and her. People and situations differ, so no absolutes here.



Being more open is working for me as well.

As i type this, sleeping cuddled next to me is my SSBBW True Love* of 4 months. She does not identify as a feedee or gainer, yet knows fully what i’m into and about, and that as of when she went to sleep i was heading to FF for mod work. She’s sat next to me when i’ve done some of that, and occasionally making posts like this, and encourages my participation here.

We met at a BBW bash this past July, and spent very many wonderful hours communicating via various means, discussing all sorts of things. When it was appropriate, i went fully into all of my FA and fat gain desires, carefully and in detail. I explained to her that we can’t control what attracts us but we can and must be responsible for our behavior and other outer world manifestations outside the privacy of our mind. I’ve made it crystal clear in both words and consistent behavior that i absolutely and fully support whatever she does with her body, and in particular what and how much/little she chooses to eat and drink.

She has repeatedly experienced my innate attraction to her fat parts—child-like wonder/fascination and so on—with pleasant results for both of us. Occasionally when there have been signs of a possible increase in her fatness, she has experienced my fear that she might not be OK with the change, then when she’s indicated to me that she’s at least for the moment OK with it, my innate profound joyous passionate excitement that i can barely contain.

So far it’s working out very well indeed, and i expect it to continue to do so.

…And my Love woke up and has had a chance to review this message before i post it.

Her thoughts regarding the OP’s situation:

“I would encourage him to be gently honest with her about his inner thoughts and feelings and be very clear that he doesn’t expect her to change her behaviors/body because of his thoughts/desires.”
“Sharing what turns you on is an important part of a relationship.”

* True Love = live-together life partner. A commitment like a marriage, without any legal or religious certification.

Wow. Rhis is exactly what I'm struggling with. I'm in a relationship with the love of my life yet she has no idea I'm into feederism. The further we got in our relationship the more it became a bother for me that I hide this for her and that I can't express my true sexual desires. We've occasionally got into a conversation where we ask each other about kinks or fetishes but even then I was too afraid to tell her something about it. She has a little belly, and I occasionally grab onto it while we're hugging or spooning. But she doesn't mention it.

I'm afraid that I don't have an awnser for your problem otherwise I wouldn't have the problem myself aswell. I just also want to say that the comments on this quote from other people are really kind and caring. So I hope they can help you!