General

I think most fat guys who aren’t feedists are a bit self conscious about their bodies, I know as I ballooned to 300 I definitely was, it took a lot of self acceptance and body positivity to get where I am now.. and honestly I’m just at a point where I’m more content with pursing my hobbies and stuff or having a big greasy pizza or few double cheeseburgers than I am pursing women

I can only speak for myself but I would feel like this is a shared sentiment.

Yep. I've always been a socially awkward nerd, even before I got fat.

We must live in different areas? I have noticed when males get thicker their confidence grows. My roommate was 180s when i met him and was 242lbs yesterday at his physical and thinks he is the HOTTEST man on the planet and flirts with anyone of any gender, and they in turn fall all over him. Like men will hit on him in front of me xD Im still spicy about that one but I think with the acceptance and popularization of "dad bods" and "bearded chubby men', in memes especially more males around these parts LOVE being thicker and are so so so so much more confident and out there.

It really depends.

There are (and have always been) very confident chubby men. And some cultures have a lot of love for thicker men. However, there are also a lot of chubby guys who think that things would be better if they were muscular or at least slimmer.

This all boils down to patriarchy. What makes a man manly depends on the culture, but men who don't measure up are made fun of. If the guy isn't secure in himself, he'll stop putting himself out there.

This can be said for a lot of things.

Who has the time and money to go out anymore? also we’re coming off Covid and fat people are disproportionally effected by it. Also, being big around big crowds of people? Um cluster phobia?

I have to say yes, it's been years since I've put myself out there since I put on some weight. In my mind, until I have a good physique again it's only a matter of time before a potential partner goes out and finds just that. And nobody wants to line up to be hurt so badly ever again. I've been told you have a great dad bod, except I'm not a dad so I find it actually insulting. I often wonder if the dad bod craze is actually a form of control, knowing most likely the guy in the relationship will be looked at as less attractive and it's a form of security. It doesn't make sense, when I was younger I was very heavy before losing l25lbs, and I've seen the some people around that used to torment me talk about how it's desirable now? No shots taken at anyone, just my two cents

If your partner cannot love you when you don't look like Adonis, then that is a shallow person.

You should put yourself out there. Even if the person doesn't have a fat fetish, a lot of people either find bigger people attractive or don't mind the physique so long as they vibe with the person.

As for the dad bod thing, certain body types fall in and out of fashion over time. You see it most visibly with women, but it happens to a lesser extent with me. Right now, so-called dad bods are in as a result of the body positivity movement.

As you've experienced, thicker guys used to be considered unattractive by the main stream. Lots of people have always loved thicker guys, but the main stream wasn't a fan. Men got inspired by bigger women embracing their size, so they did the same.

Of course, as you pointed out, it's a trend. Body types fall in and out of fashion all the time. This isn't even the first time the main stream considered dad bods attractive.

Just focus on loving yourself. There will always be people who love people that look like you no matter what'a trending.

I still have little experience on dating, but for what I have seen, most fat people don't even think they can be attractive to someone, not despite, but because of their size.
The two guys I have gone on dates with, (both "relationships" were extremely short, not-strings-attached), were so surprised that I found that aspect of them desirable. Maybe during a longer relationship you could turn a shy and insecure big guy into someone more confident, but I don't know.

I'm not suprised this is the case, unfortunately. Outside of spaces like these, being even a little chubby is still mostly being sold as the worst thing ever no matter what. I feel like most people around me have not even imagined that someone can be fat AND happy with their body.

This is why I would recommend any fat admirer, no matter their bodytype, to try and make the first step when they can. I would not wait for a chubby dude to flirt with me.

I've been the pursuer in every relationship except for my current one. (It feels nice to be pursued for once.) And every single time, the guy was surprised I was giving him the time of day.