General

It really depends.

There are (and have always been) very confident chubby men. And some cultures have a lot of love for thicker men. However, there are also a lot of chubby guys who think that things would be better if they were muscular or at least slimmer.

This all boils down to patriarchy. What makes a man manly depends on the culture, but men who don't measure up are made fun of. If the guy isn't secure in himself, he'll stop putting himself out there.

This can be said for a lot of things.

Who has the time and money to go out anymore? also we’re coming off Covid and fat people are disproportionally effected by it. Also, being big around big crowds of people? Um cluster phobia?

I have to say yes, it's been years since I've put myself out there since I put on some weight. In my mind, until I have a good physique again it's only a matter of time before a potential partner goes out and finds just that. And nobody wants to line up to be hurt so badly ever again. I've been told you have a great dad bod, except I'm not a dad so I find it actually insulting. I often wonder if the dad bod craze is actually a form of control, knowing most likely the guy in the relationship will be looked at as less attractive and it's a form of security. It doesn't make sense, when I was younger I was very heavy before losing l25lbs, and I've seen the some people around that used to torment me talk about how it's desirable now? No shots taken at anyone, just my two cents

If your partner cannot love you when you don't look like Adonis, then that is a shallow person.

You should put yourself out there. Even if the person doesn't have a fat fetish, a lot of people either find bigger people attractive or don't mind the physique so long as they vibe with the person.

As for the dad bod thing, certain body types fall in and out of fashion over time. You see it most visibly with women, but it happens to a lesser extent with me. Right now, so-called dad bods are in as a result of the body positivity movement.

As you've experienced, thicker guys used to be considered unattractive by the main stream. Lots of people have always loved thicker guys, but the main stream wasn't a fan. Men got inspired by bigger women embracing their size, so they did the same.

Of course, as you pointed out, it's a trend. Body types fall in and out of fashion all the time. This isn't even the first time the main stream considered dad bods attractive.

Just focus on loving yourself. There will always be people who love people that look like you no matter what'a trending.

I've been the pursuer in every relationship except for my current one. (It feels nice to be pursued for once.) And every single time, the guy was surprised I was giving him the time of day.

For me, it’s insecurity after numerous negative interactions. I would make accounts to try and appreciate my body and enjoy feedism. I was often met with creeps, or those who didn’t respect my boundaries. Being used for my slightly pudgy body, being an outlet to send unsolicited pictures to, being overshadowed and almost cast away by a community I held dear to my heart. I never knew why either.

I don’t plan on posting my body again anytime soon, all of my accounts surrounding it are long past inactive. There would be no support for a revival.

It’s insecurity after consistently feeling like you aren’t welcome, despite not knowing what you did.

I'm sorry you went through that, love. You didn't deserve it at all.

I hope you don't let others destroy how you feel about yourself.