General

My kinks have evolved a lot since first got into this, but I think it all started when I was a skinny little girl who hated her body. Like, I knew I was pretty, but I wanted nothing more to be a full figured woman like my family members.

And now I'm a feeder that works out, lol. Funny how that goes.

I think it has always been there with me. I used to tell everyone when I was younger that I wanted to get married have kids and get fat. I didn't see it as a kink per say then though. It was just what happened with my older sister and she was really happy, so I wanted that. I think I realized it was something more to me when I got pregnant with my daughter and gained a lot of weight. I had to quit smoking, so I used food to clam the cravings. I gained probably 60 pounds in those 9 months. My husband gain at least 20 too. It was just an amazing experience to me. Total surprise. Anyways, this is my first post here. I actually joined so I could reply to this. Kind of lurked on here for a while. Something freeing about openly admitting things that are taboo in everyday life in a public place...

Thank you guy!

Welcome to the site :-) Your bio is parallel to a lot of others on here, mine included!

This used to be me. Constantly obsessed with diet, practically torturing myself through deprivation of avoiding junk food.

Figured enough was enough. You can be healthy at any size is my new motto. And I'm certainly far more mentally healthy as a fat guy than I was when I was avoiding the things I love, in this case junk and fast food.

Growing up I was always a chubby kid so naturally EVERY always told me to loose weight. And I was on a lot of diets growing up. But I never had a problem being fat. It did not bother me. Eventually soon after high school I said fuck ity I'm tiered of being hungry I I love my fat so I just started eating. Everything. And after a while I goggles people who want to be fatter. As it turns out there is this whole community! I found out about heavy cream! And lots about this life style. And it's just been lb after jiggy lb after that.

I got into it on purpose in an attempt to deal with my selective eating disorder because medical interventions were not working since I still didn’t feel motivated enough to push past the disgust and nausea to eat more than a couple bites of anything at a time, even though I was actively starving to death, and I was desperate to find something that would work since I’d been threatened with institutionalization. I wasn’t that into it at first but you can get into anything if you try hard enough. It’s an unorthodox approach, but it did work. The eating disorder isn’t GONE but I was able to get to a healthy enough weight that even when I have a relapse and can’t stand food for a while it isn’t too dangerous and my doctor no longer threatens to institutionalize me since I’m no longer at risk of dying.

I had already wanted to gain weight for a long time, but not for sexual reasons, rather out of concern for my health (My eating disorder has never been about body image but instead about hating to eat and being unable to tolerate most food. It’s just gross to me).

Actually, I hadn’t really had sexual interest in anything at all before. To some degree that was probably because I had spent my whole life severely underweight and just didn’t have the energy for it.

Even now, to gain weight I have to put in a huge effort because I genuinely, majorly dislike food and eating. It’s not as bad as it used to be: Outside relapses, I can usually tolerate eating at least a normal portion of foods I like, if only by thinking of it as a way to get my weight up or avoid losing weight and forcing it down, but even now, if I just “eat what I want” without forcing it that’s only a few hundred calories a day, maximum. When my eating disorder was very bad, it used to be that on a good day I could eat 4 or 5 bites at each meal if I spent a couple hours trying to eat it and on a bad day I just couldn’t eat. Selective eating disorder is a bitch.

I still rely on meal replacement shakes pretty heavily even when I’m not gaining and just need to maintain my weight, and during tough stretches I sometimes still have to take appetite stimulants to eat normal meals. But, if I do that stuff I can almost always manage at least 1500 calories a day, which is enough for me to not lose weight very fast and was not possible in the past even with those interventions, and when I get worked up enough and have time to dedicate to eating I can even consume a notable surplus and gain! It gets easier as time goes on so I hold out hope that one day it won’t be so much of an effort and I can just let go and enjoy it like other people here do.

I don't think anything in particular caused me to develop it.

I think it's totally normal and healthy for people to be attracted to fat bodies, and I just happen to be one of those who was born with those desires. Human sexuality is a pretty broad spectrum, much more so than our society would like us to believe.

I was always one of, if not the, fat kids in school. I figured that if I just owned being fat the teasing wouldn't get to me. After a couple years when hitting puberty I started padding my clothes out of nowhere. And not just putting a pillow under my shirt, but shoving a whole blanket under so it would my belly sag. I would bunch up shirts and socks to put down my sleeves to make my arms bigger, around my thighs and calls to make them look bigger, right above the blanket to make it look like my moobs were so big they sat on my belly. Then I would just sit in my room and play video games or read books. If I was home alone I would walk around like that. One day as an adult I realized, why pretend to be fat when I can actually look like that.