General

I finally let myself gain because I had to due to becoming underweight from an illness. I ate more and gained weight because my body was recovering.
When I saw my body grow bigger and softer I felt the happiest I’d ever been with it. I felt whole. Feeling all fat and gaining just felt so right. Seeing my body bigger just felt right. I felt so hot and sexy from my gain. Grabbing at all my new flab just felt sooo good! I had no worries from the outside world because I had an excuse. I was immune to the shaming that comes with this.
I didn’t have to conform to my adopted thin ideal because I had a reason. I got to push it aside and enjoy what’s in my nature.
Yet I realized just how much I was denying myself. Having to gain made me so happy! All that pleasure I never let myself have. Never letting myself live out my dream because of my fatphobic mom. Being free from her pressure to do this just this once brought up my quality of life dramatically.
I’ve repressed so much. I’m devastated that I did this to myself. It didn’t make me happy and it didn’t make me not have my desires. I just denied myself of happiness.
I want to get fat. I wanna enjoy all the feelings that come with it! I want to feel the happiness I’ll get from having a big chubby belly that sticks out. I wanna enjoy watching as my boobs, thighs, butt all grow massive! I wanna feel the all the excitement of finding all the new jiggle on my body. I wanna have my own tummy that sits on my lap and jiggles. I want to have huge flabby boobs that just rest on it.
I’m so done telling myself that I can’t be fat. I can’t give up my nature like this. I don’t want to go back to worrying about being skinny to please the world. I’m going to get fat and god damn am I going to enjoy it!

I used to be thin too. Hated it. Now I'm thick. Enjoy that much more.

YES OMG THIS! For most of my life until recently I've kept myself badly under weight and constantly working out because of pressure from family and zero self-esteem. I was functionally anorexic. I would try to secretly stuff myself, but was afraid of gaining weight or someone saying something about my body. I'm glad I discovered this place, and now I'm becoming little more comfortable with the idea of gaining weight and being chubby/fat. I just really need to get the past out of my head and be more comfortable with gaining weight.