CuddlesMcBK:
I've known that I'm a fat admirer for about as long as I've known that I prefer being skinny myself (that is to say, since I lost weight and started puberty in middle school). In recent years, however, it reached a point where I was so terrified of gaining weight that I was diagnosed as anorexic and had to be hospitalized (it's reached a more manageable level now, though I still have urges to restrict). It seems silly to discuss its impact on my fetish, but it's unquestionably something I've felt- on the one hand, I'm attracted to women growing so big their bodies resemble spheres when they sit, but on the other hand, I constantly struggle with a voice telling me I'm fat and ugly even though I'm clinically underweight.
I don't know if I can really say anything more about it besides 'it's weird', so I was wondering if anyone else had this issue.
I've known that I'm a fat admirer for about as long as I've known that I prefer being skinny myself (that is to say, since I lost weight and started puberty in middle school). In recent years, however, it reached a point where I was so terrified of gaining weight that I was diagnosed as anorexic and had to be hospitalized (it's reached a more manageable level now, though I still have urges to restrict). It seems silly to discuss its impact on my fetish, but it's unquestionably something I've felt- on the one hand, I'm attracted to women growing so big their bodies resemble spheres when they sit, but on the other hand, I constantly struggle with a voice telling me I'm fat and ugly even though I'm clinically underweight.
I don't know if I can really say anything more about it besides 'it's weird', so I was wondering if anyone else had this issue.
I have had anorexia since I was 9 years old, now with 23 I can say that thanks to the fetish I have been freeing myself little by little. At the beginning when I liked watching videos of fat women, then I felt terrible because I didn't want to do that, I just liked it. The psychologist told me to keep experimenting with this part of me and to let myself go, she recommended me to see it as a game. I can't tell you how it went because it was very progressive, but at 19 years old I was already an expert in feederism and I stopped panicking about eating. It is a very hard healing process, but with this fetish you can cope a little better. I wish you lots of encouragement.
1 year