Lifestyle tips

Piturekapiteka:
What you're describing is something actually somewhat common and that I even seen in some therapy sessions before.

We can't quite choose our sexuality, what turns us on does it so automatically, usually tho, our life story can help explain the whys, sometimes genetics too, but they can't explain what we should do about it, people are left to fend for themselves.

So, somehow, you ended up as a feeder, but also, simultaneously, ended up hating the fact that you are this way. Of course that hating yourself for something that's out of your control is very hard, and is quite damaging, so the only escape is to turn that outwards to some random target.

I understand how you must feel, and it must be really painful, but the problem here is the inexplicable hatred towards your own sexuality, and not the fat people around you. By berating and attacking strangers you are not only crossing a line and insulting others, but in reality it will not fix anything because the base problem will stay there.

I would recommend you to try and talk to someone who's willing to listen and help explore and make sense of the topic with you. Like a psychologist, or some loved one that you're close with, if you want, you can DM me too.

Zorah:
Im kinda the same way unfortunatly. I really dislike this kink sometimes because its unhealthy

Zampano708:
neither is the covid vaccine🫢

Zorah:
Im kinda the same way unfortunatly. I really dislike this kink sometimes because its unhealthy

Slasher92:
Being conflicted over your kink is understandable, but shaming fat people isn’t the “moral” thing to do as you put it.

I don’t believe you quite understand how harassment can have long term damaging effects, and how it’s full of hate.

You’re not morally superior to someone based on your weight or BMI.


Furthermore, fat people are PEOPLE. With real feeling and emotions. They experience the world every day like everyone else.

You have internalized fatphobia that YOU need to deal with. Not anyone else; YOU.


You don’t get to just ruin someone’s day or mood just because you’re in a bad place mentally. That’s abusive behavior.

You have a lot of growing up to do.

Jelly Rolls:
So I’m not proud of my little fatphobia habit. I know I have hurt people yet I feel this compulsion to hurt people (fat acceptance and fat proud people) because I have this deep internalized disgusted feeling towards my sexuality. I have always harassed fat people and told them that they are fundamentally wrong for being ok/being positive about being fat. I do this because I think the fact that I am a feeder and feedee is fundamentally and morally wrong. I just feel a release of guilt when I put happy fat people down. I can’t stand myself for being into this stuff, yet then I am so drawn to it and think it’s so sexy. I just feel that I am a broken person and I like to repent for it by “doing what’s morally right” and bullying fat positive people into hating themselves and believing that they are bad people like me. I just don’t know how to cope with all this hate. I wish I felt free but I know that the world hates me like I hate myself. I wanna be fat and flabby and enjoy it but I can’t help but think I am disgusting.

Jelly Rolls:
So I’m not proud of my little fatphobia habit. I know I have hurt people yet I feel this compulsion to hurt people (fat acceptance and fat proud people) because I have this deep internalized disgusted feeling towards my sexuality. I have always harassed fat people and told them that they are fundamentally wrong for being ok/being positive about being fat. I do this because I think the fact that I am a feeder and feedee is fundamentally and morally wrong. I just feel a release of guilt when I put happy fat people down. I can’t stand myself for being into this stuff, yet then I am so drawn to it and think it’s so sexy. I just feel that I am a broken person and I like to repent for it by “doing what’s morally right” and bullying fat positive people into hating themselves and believing that they are bad people like me. I just don’t know how to cope with all this hate. I wish I felt free but I know that the world hates me like I hate myself. I wanna be fat and flabby and enjoy it but I can’t help but think I am disgusting.

Runningsoft:
There are struggles within fetishes. The desire to be part of it, yet distance yourself form it.
Not a psychologist here, but if you cannot transform your own pain, you transmit it to others, which may be why you feel like you are being hard on yourself.

You say you want to be fat, but may not necessarily want to gain weight yourself. This is understandable. Maybe try self-bloating with fizzy water? You get 'the experience' of fullness without the calories. Perhaps this can be a launchpad for you to do some self healing?
Good luck, Jelly Rolls.

Zorah:
Im kinda the same way unfortunatly. I really dislike this kink sometimes because its unhealthy