Enas:
I strongly agree with a chunk of what you're saying here. I think that it whould be very unhealthy to have an absolute devotion to any one person. However we're not talking about the same thing i belive. Your point of view feels especially individualized. I'm not in that page. I think that love *could* be the driving force of humanity (people think that "it doesn't work"
And for me, love is not only between two individuals, altho what you feel there IS love! But love is also what pushes us to do good things and most importantly, take care of other people.What i disagree strongly with is self-love. In my judgement it's apsolutely toxic and it's a product of what i tried to explain in my previous reply. I won't follow it one bit, however that doesn't mean that everything is fine, quite the opposite. If everything was fine there whould be no space for self-love to be useful for.
We live in a dystopia. The worst one we've ever come up with.
I'll admit to an individualist bias. I was raised in the US and many of my greatest role models, philosophical exposures, and pup culture obsessions espouse individualist themes.
Still, I think I understand what kind of society you idealize. One where charity to strangers is common and born out of love for fellow humans, and is given without consideration of compensation. I truly hope such a world can come about in our lifetimes; I simply think that the path to it requires a bit of self-love.
Humans are a social species, yes, but those instincts are born of an extended sense of self-preservation. We value others' lives and company because they enrich and enable us to thrive ourselves.
When we exercise self-love, I believe we exercise empathy. By valuing ourselves, we provide a reference for how we should value others. By appreciating and seeking joy for our own sake, we know the joy of receiving kindness and charity from others. This awareness can provide the fulfillment needed to sustain a culture of compassion and charity. In a world where no one wanted anything for themselves, there would be no point to giving gifts to others, of showing compassion to others, of providing company to others. A sacrifice only has value if that which is given up has value.
Though I am no longer religious, I was raised Catholic, and one aspect of it has resonated with me through my entire life: "Love others as you love yourself." It is an admission to our inherent needs and desires as individual organisms while simultaneously being a reminder of the existence of those needs and desires in others. A call to compassion born of self-love.
The dystopia comes when people forget to consider the inner lives of others, their innermost passions and fears, their wants and needs. Or it comes from demanding more from others than they can give, to act not out of self-love, but out of selfishness.
I think there is a difference between self-love and selfishness. Self-love affords us the same charities we should direct to others. Selfishness callously deprives others of those charities. Self-love is a candle; it illuminates itself the most brightly, but still extends that light and warmth to its surroundings, and can provide a spark for other candles. Selfishness is a fire burning out of control, consuming everything around it until it chokes or starves from its own greed.
It is not selfishness to deprive a tiger of its meal by fleeing from it. Nor is it selfishness to prevent other human beings from harming or exploiting us simply because it would benefit them. Nor is it selfishness to admit when we are at our limits. There is nuance to the world, and our priorities, necessitated by the scarcity of time and resources, which means we cannot only ever give. At the very least, sacrificing ourselves to too great a degree will leave us too spent to provide for future obligations, too depleted for further compassion. A father could not give away all his possessions and belongings to a stranger without potentially depriving his own children.
There is no utopia in absolutism, except perhaps for absolute plentitude. Seeing as we do not live in such a Paradise, we must exercise moderation. Self-love is important. As is compassion. As is acting on our priorities. As is love for all people. These must be balanced. And no one can dictate that balance for others. Only for themselves.
1 year
