Feeder/Feedee

Teaching normies to be feedees

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Morbidly A Beast:
Y’all feeders might have a easier time with people who are already fat I mean for me it was just a failed diet a lil bit of body positivity and fat acceptance and I was hooked — it’s important however to express those intentions not all fatties like being fat


True. I've mostly gone after bigger guys, but not all of them have been feedists. Of those that weren't feedists, were happy with their bodies. They didn't want to lose weight, but they didn't want to gain it either. Others just wanted to be fitter or slimmer.

Fortunately, feedism isn't a deal breaker and I am happy to do other things.

That being said, I'd rather a non-feedist become a feedist because they honestly enjoy it, and not because they feel like they have to do it to please me. I love dominance play and all, but power imbalances? No thank you. I've been on both sides of that coin. Never ends well.

This is why I take umbrage with Dr. Feeder using the word "teach" in this context. It implies there's a power imbalance. The potential feedee becomes an object for the feeder to fulfill their fetish. The feedee doesn't get to find out what works for them.

Meanwhile, kink negotiations center the person and not the kink. It makes for a more mutually satisfying outcome.
1 year

Teaching normies to be feedees

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Morbidly A Beast   United States
Joined 2 years
Munchies:

Meanwhile, kink negotiations center the person and not the kink. It makes for a more mutually satisfying outcome.


There’s a lot of people still out there who have no concept of kink and fetishes. Like me for an example prior to getting into this I really had no idea, and to be frank I still don’t. Are we as “kinksters” forever at a advantage over others in that regard?
1 year

Teaching normies to be feedees

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Munchies:

Meanwhile, kink negotiations center the person and not the kink. It makes for a more mutually satisfying outcome.

Morbidly A Beast:
There’s a lot of people still out there who have no concept of kink and fetishes. Like me for an example prior to getting into this I really had no idea, and to be frank I still don’t. Are we as “kinksters” forever at a advantage over others in that regard?


Those who know more about a kink - even if it's just that the kink exists - have an advantage over outsiders. As such, we have the ability to greatly influence how a non-feedist partner practices feedism. And that goes for any kink.

Of course, that influence will be there no matter what. But a good partner will do whatever it takes to give their partner agency as they figure out their boundaries and interests.

I've noticed in the forums that whenever a feedist (usually a feeder) brings their non-feedist partner into the kink, the ones that ensure their partner's agency tend to work out better long term than those that don't.
1 year

Teaching normies to be feedees

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Morbidly A Beast   United States
Joined 2 years
Munchies:

Meanwhile, kink negotiations center the person and not the kink. It makes for a more mutually satisfying outcome.

Morbidly A Beast:
There’s a lot of people still out there who have no concept of kink and fetishes. Like me for an example prior to getting into this I really had no idea, and to be frank I still don’t. Are we as “kinksters” forever at a advantage over others in that regard?

Munchies:
Those who know more about a kink - even if it's just that the kink exists - have an advantage over outsiders. As such, we have the ability to greatly influence how a non-feedist partner practices feedism. And that goes for any kink.

Of course, that influence will be there no matter what. But a good partner will do whatever it takes to give their partner agency as they figure out their boundaries and interests.

I've noticed in the forums that whenever a feedist (usually a feeder) brings their non-feedist partner into the kink, the ones that ensure their partner's agency tend to work out better long term than those that don't.


Interesting and noted. Do you think I need to express to a potential non-feedist partner that this isn’t my “final form” so to speak?
1 year

Teaching normies to be feedees

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Munchies:

Meanwhile, kink negotiations center the person and not the kink. It makes for a more mutually satisfying outcome.

Morbidly A Beast:
There’s a lot of people still out there who have no concept of kink and fetishes. Like me for an example prior to getting into this I really had no idea, and to be frank I still don’t. Are we as “kinksters” forever at a advantage over others in that regard?

Munchies:
Those who know more about a kink - even if it's just that the kink exists - have an advantage over outsiders. As such, we have the ability to greatly influence how a non-feedist partner practices feedism. And that goes for any kink.

Of course, that influence will be there no matter what. But a good partner will do whatever it takes to give their partner agency as they figure out their boundaries and interests.

I've noticed in the forums that whenever a feedist (usually a feeder) brings their non-feedist partner into the kink, the ones that ensure their partner's agency tend to work out better long term than those that don't.

Morbidly A Beast:
Interesting and noted. Do you think I need to express to a potential non-feedist partner that this isn’t my “final form” so to speak?


At some point, but maybe not initially. Only if you foresee this person sticking around long-term.

I typically ease my romantic into things. I'm fairly upfront about liking intense things. But I ease them into the intensity - even if they say they like the same things. I've had play partners and hook-ups abruptly end because it was too much too soon and they had a panic attack.

Of course, I'm a sadist.
1 year

Teaching normies to be feedees

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 3 years
AskDrFeeder:
I've heard this story many times. A person has no interest in feedism but is persuaded to try it by their feeder. They gain some and by their partner's reaction realize how erotic feedism can be. It starts to turn them on, and before you know it they appreciate gaining on its own merits. They'll want to continue even if they break up with their partner.

Has this happened to you? Can you add any details? (I've heard of this happening many times but no one seems to be able to describe it very well. )


I think this is related to the way we (feeders) choose (unintentionally) our parteners. As an example, I've always been into bigger guys (not only fat, some were big muscular guys) with a big appetite. We can agree in those cases, when a relationship occurs and they keep more time to spend with their partener and less for the gym, they'll gain some weight. Considering their appetite and the love for food, but also wanting to spend more time with their partener, they either need to struggle to eat less or to accept their gaining. Of course the firs part is easier. This cumulated with the positive reaction from the partener may make them to try more (as gaining, enjoying their softer bodies and so on). But keep in mind they already had the big appetite, the big body and the love for food.

So my theory is this only works because we as feeders, unconsciously look for partenners with some feedee realated qualities. They don't always need to be the bigger ones. It could be someone skinny who hates diets and enjoy every cheat meal way too much or somebody who keeps his form just because of society standards, not for himself/herself or an athlete who can't wait to retire because he started to hate his routine and don't want to do sport ever again or have a restrictive diet...

There are many examples, but my point is: you don't take a person who doesn't like anything related to feedism and make that person a feedee.
1 year

Teaching normies to be feedees

Avatar
Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
AskDrFeeder:
I've heard this story many times. A person has no interest in feedism but is persuaded to try it by their feeder. They gain some and by their partner's reaction realize how erotic feedism can be. It starts to turn them on, and before you know it they appreciate gaining on its own merits. They'll want to continue even if they break up with their partner.

Has this happened to you? Can you add any details? (I've heard of this happening many times but no one seems to be able to describe it very well. )

Angy523:
I think this is related to the way we (feeders) choose (unintentionally) our parteners. As an example, I've always been into bigger guys (not only fat, some were big muscular guys) with a big appetite. We can agree in those cases, when a relationship occurs and they keep more time to spend with their partener and less for the gym, they'll gain some weight. Considering their appetite and the love for food, but also wanting to spend more time with their partener, they either need to struggle to eat less or to accept their gaining. Of course the firs part is easier. This cumulated with the positive reaction from the partener may make them to try more (as gaining, enjoying their softer bodies and so on). But keep in mind they already had the big appetite, the big body and the love for food.

So my theory is this only works because we as feeders, unconsciously look for partenners with some feedee realated qualities. They don't always need to be the bigger ones. It could be someone skinny who hates diets and enjoy every cheat meal way too much or somebody who keeps his form just because of society standards, not for himself/herself or an athlete who can't wait to retire because he started to hate his routine and don't want to do sport ever again or have a restrictive diet...

There are many examples, but my point is: you don't take a person who doesn't like anything related to feedism and make that person a feedee.


So true. I think this can be said about all feedists. The only reason we are participating in this fetish is that some aspect of it seemed appealing to us at first. We were all normies once.

And on the flip side, there are some fetishes that will never appeal to some of us. And that's okay too. The saying is "different strokes for different folks" for a reason.
1 year
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