General

I always wanted to be fat. I remember watching numerous cartoons growing up where characters would get fat and I would pretend to be fat by putting pillows underneath my shirt. When I first hit puberty, I started gaining weight since my appetite increased. My grandmother got worried and forced me to exercise at her house for 10 minutes. I was slightly overweight at this point and I was 14 years old... I didn't gain much throughout high school because I didn't want to keep having to exercise on my grandmother's treadmill. I did make the mistake once saying I wanted to be bigger, and my dad would say "Do you want to end up like your best friend's sister?" I had to bite my tongue and not say anything, because the truth is I wanted to be as big as her one day. Then when I was 20 years old, I came across this site and started to indulge and purposely gain weight. I was around 135 or 140 when I first joined, and gained about 15 or so pounds not too long after. I've been gaining off and on ever since and I'm up to around 225 lbs now. I'm a trans guy and have been medically transitioning for almost three years now and my weight has been up and down since but my appetite has yet again increased.

It was hard for me to accept at first that I wanted to get fat and I wanted people to notice how plump and well-fed I became.

I started by going on MyFitnessPal and basically setting a "reverse goal," computing how many calories I'd need to gain 50-100 lbs. That alone turned me on, seeing how many calories I "needed" to eat each day.

What's weird is that getting fat often requires discipline just liking losing weight. You have to overeat every day, even when you don't feel like it. I had decided I wasn't going to stuff myself or get sick, but that I had to stick to my new calorie goal every day to make sure I was growing larger.

It really was a gradual thing: getting less shy about ordering more food, learning to enjoy that I couldn't hide my new weight in clothes anymore, accepting that I had chosen to get fat and that I had to stick with it.

A major thing for me was changing how I wore clothes. Rather than wearing loose fitting things, I began wearing things smaller and tighter, to make sure that there was no way to hide my weight gain from people. I had to keep reminding myself that part of all this was making sure everyone could see how fat I had become. That meant tops that hugged my belly and boobs and often showed a smidge of belly pudging out underneath. Progress for me was stopping myself from pulling my shirt down when it rode up and enjoying the breeze on my belly and the looks I got.

This is a hard thing to accept, but this IS who you are, like it or not. It's better to embrace it and get used to it.