General

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Morbidly A Beast:
Also in my experience it seems straight ffa’s are more into already fat guys as opposed to ones who are skinny or want to become fat, i could stand corrected on this but it seems to be the general consensus

Munchies:
There are a good chunk of FFAs who prefer a "blank slate" so to speak. A thin man that they can fatten as much as they'd like. And then there are FFAs like me that don't care about the start weight.


So where are you all? I am a blank slate ready to be fattened up 🤩
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Morbidly A Beast:
Also in my experience it seems straight ffa’s are more into already fat guys as opposed to ones who are skinny or want to become fat, i could stand corrected on this but it seems to be the general consensus

Munchies:
There are a good chunk of FFAs who prefer a "blank slate" so to speak. A thin man that they can fatten as much as they'd like. And then there are FFAs like me that don't care about the start weight.

MottiF:
So where are you all? I am a blank slate ready to be fattened up 🤩


It's hard being an FFA. A lot of guys refuse to believe women cam be anything but feedees and get really gross. The guys that do can get ... weird. And sometimes threatening or dangerous.

I have witnessed first hand FFAs getting run off the site. Hell, if it weren't for my specific blend of crazy, I'd have been run off the site at least half a dozen times.
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Being a woman is very hard in online feedist spaces. Female FAs and feeders have a unique challenge because so many feedists see being an FA or a feeder as a masculine thing and being a feedee as a feminine thing.

I am not saying this to say that female FAs and feeders have it worse than female feedees. God knows the kind of abuse I've seen them go through. I'm simply saying that we have different struggles.

I have lost count for the number of men who cannot believe a woman can be anything but a feedee. Some of them have tried their hardest to "convert" me to become one because "that's what women do". They have threatened, harrassed, and attempted to manipulate me just because I don't fit into their weird gender expectations.

I know why they think that way. When online feedist spaces first started, nearly all feeders and FAs were men and nearly all feedees were women. Even though times have changed, some things still linger.

Think about it. Why are men FAs and not MFAs? Why do some people think it's weird if a woman refers to herself as an FA and not an FFA? We've made great strides as a community, but we still have a ways to go.

Most female FAs and feeders are not crazy. If they don't feel welcome, they will leave. I don't blame them. Hell, some days I feel like I'm still here out of spite and not a desire to be around like minded people.

Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but they still aren't great. It's my hope that we has a community can make this place safer for women. It's win-win. If more women feel safe enough to be here, then it won't be has hard for male gainers and feedees to find femals FAs and feeders.
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Morbidly A Beast:
Also in my experience it seems straight ffa’s are more into already fat guys as opposed to ones who are skinny or want to become fat, i could stand corrected on this but it seems to be the general consensus

Munchies:
There are a good chunk of FFAs who prefer a "blank slate" so to speak. A thin man that they can fatten as much as they'd like. And then there are FFAs like me that don't care about the start weight.

MottiF:
So where are you all? I am a blank slate ready to be fattened up 🤩

Munchies:
It's hard being an FFA. A lot of guys refuse to believe women cam be anything but feedees and get really gross. The guys that do can get ... weird. And sometimes threatening or dangerous.

I have witnessed first hand FFAs getting run off the site. Hell, if it weren't for my specific blend of crazy, I'd have been run off the site at least half a dozen times.


I'll cheers to that. People will spam my inbox with the same exact copy and paste message and if I wasn't interested X months ago, I won't be interested now.

Add in the harassment and entitlement, and yeah, there have been many times where I've wanted to never come back on here.
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Morbidly A Beast:
Also in my experience it seems straight ffa’s are more into already fat guys as opposed to ones who are skinny or want to become fat, i could stand corrected on this but it seems to be the general consensus

Munchies:
There are a good chunk of FFAs who prefer a "blank slate" so to speak. A thin man that they can fatten as much as they'd like. And then there are FFAs like me that don't care about the start weight.

MottiF:
So where are you all? I am a blank slate ready to be fattened up 🤩

Munchies:
It's hard being an FFA. A lot of guys refuse to believe women cam be anything but feedees and get really gross. The guys that do can get ... weird. And sometimes threatening or dangerous.

I have witnessed first hand FFAs getting run off the site. Hell, if it weren't for my specific blend of crazy, I'd have been run off the site at least half a dozen times.

Pluviophile:
I'll cheers to that. People will spam my inbox with the same exact copy and paste message and if I wasn't interested X months ago, I won't be interested now.

Add in the harassment and entitlement, and yeah, there have been many times where I've wanted to never come back on here.


Oh God yes. No one really DMs me these days, but when they did? Oy vey. I've gotten creepy marriage proposals, people begging me to take them on as my piggy, people telling me that I need to given and become their piggy, clearly copy and pasted messages trying to get to go offsite, threats, and on and on it goes.

I once had a convo that started out innocent enough. The guy thanked me for offering to help him find a story. Then he turned weird and creepy. I tried to make him go away, but it turns out he was a sex-staved man with a humiliation fetish. Told me about 2 minutes after my scathing reply that I made him cum so hard and left.

A few months later, I'm in chat and he DMs me. He completely forgot that we ever spoke. He apologized, at least, when I brought up what he did to me, and we never spoke again. I'm honestly shocked he did that much because most guys just ghost you or try to gaslight you after you call them out for being a creep.
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Morbidly A Beast:
Also in my experience it seems straight ffa’s are more into already fat guys as opposed to ones who are skinny or want to become fat, i could stand corrected on this but it seems to be the general consensus

Munchies:
There are a good chunk of FFAs who prefer a "blank slate" so to speak. A thin man that they can fatten as much as they'd like. And then there are FFAs like me that don't care about the start weight.

MottiF:
So where are you all? I am a blank slate ready to be fattened up 🤩

Munchies:
It's hard being an FFA. A lot of guys refuse to believe women cam be anything but feedees and get really gross. The guys that do can get ... weird. And sometimes threatening or dangerous.

I have witnessed first hand FFAs getting run off the site. Hell, if it weren't for my specific blend of crazy, I'd have been run off the site at least half a dozen times.

Pluviophile:
I'll cheers to that. People will spam my inbox with the same exact copy and paste message and if I wasn't interested X months ago, I won't be interested now.

Add in the harassment and entitlement, and yeah, there have been many times where I've wanted to never come back on here.

Munchies:
Oh God yes. No one really DMs me these days, but when they did? Oy vey. I've gotten creepy marriage proposals, people begging me to take them on as my piggy, people telling me that I need to given and become their piggy, clearly copy and pasted messages trying to get to go offsite, threats, and on and on it goes.

I once had a convo that started out innocent enough. The guy thanked me for offering to help him find a story. Then he turned weird and creepy. I tried to make him go away, but it turns out he was a sex-staved man with a humiliation fetish. Told me about 2 minutes after my scathing reply that I made him cum so hard and left.

A few months later, I'm in chat and he DMs me. He completely forgot that we ever spoke. He apologized, at least, when I brought up what he did to me, and we never spoke again. I'm honestly shocked he did that much because most guys just ghost you or try to gaslight you after you call them out for being a creep.


Hearing about all this kind of stuff reinforces how happy I am to not be in the dating scene and single. I don't envy you guys and gals. I have received my fair share of weird and creepy messages. Even though I state clearly, here and elsewhere, that I'm happily married and just looking for friends and be apart of the community. But that either doesn't stop some people or maybe they don't read profiles and I have to reiterate my taken status.

I guess part of me can understand the frustration of having this kink/fetish and trying to find a partner who shares it. But the ways to approach people and act are really no different than how one should be in general. Being a decent, respectful, courteous, etc. I just don't get why some people think some of those crazy approaches work. Do they ever work? Lol I doubt it! But again, I've been away from the single life for 25 years. So I may be old and behind the times with kids these days smiley
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Ex Jock:
Anyone feel this way? Would you agree if that’s where I am? Feel like weird middle ground where haven’t fully committed to one, or in between limits but really just going with the flow.

I know you can’t please everyone


Circling back to OP's original topic, I've noticed there's a lot of fatphobia in the fat fetish community. Ironic, I know. But you see it a lot - especially with the fit-to-fat crowd.

I see a lot of people treat being fat like they failed to be thin. I'm not talking about erotic fat shaming. I've interacted with a lot of people who are either coming to terms with their fetish or are in the fetish community because it's the only place they feel like people will want them.

I've also spoken to feeders and FAs that go after fat people because "they're easy", or as I like to call it "They tend to have lower self-esteem and I can manipulate them easier." Some of them don't even try to hide it because some feedees/gainers are so desperate and lonely that they will go after these toxic/abusive people.

OP, for now, just focus on loving yourself. Don't worry so much about being the right size for a feeder. A good feeder will cherish and respect you no matter your size.
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Oh Munchies you know I can go on *all day* about how fatphobic the fat kink community is. You nailed it perfectly!
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Munchies:
Being a woman is very hard in online feedist spaces. Female FAs and feeders have a unique challenge because so many feedists see being an FA or a feeder as a masculine thing and being a feedee as a feminine thing.

I am not saying this to say that female FAs and feeders have it worse than female feedees. God knows the kind of abuse I've seen them go through. I'm simply saying that we have different struggles.

I have lost count for the number of men who cannot believe a woman can be anything but a feedee. Some of them have tried their hardest to "convert" me to become one because "that's what women do". They have threatened, harrassed, and attempted to manipulate me just because I don't fit into their weird gender expectations.

I know why they think that way. When online feedist spaces first started, nearly all feeders and FAs were men and nearly all feedees were women. Even though times have changed, some things still linger.

Think about it. Why are men FAs and not MFAs? Why do some people think it's weird if a woman refers to herself as an FA and not an FFA? We've made great strides as a community, but we still have a ways to go.

Most female FAs and feeders are not crazy. If they don't feel welcome, they will leave. I don't blame them. Hell, some days I feel like I'm still here out of spite and not a desire to be around like minded people.

Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but they still aren't great. It's my hope that we has a community can make this place safer for women. It's win-win. If more women feel safe enough to be here, then it won't be has hard for male gainers and feedees to find femals FAs and feeders.


Its ridiculous how easy fixing this is, except when you try to spread it through other people...
I don't understand why... It's such a simple logic to make things work better, i really don't understand. I guess it has to do more with sociological, rather than psychological reasons, because on the latter it doesn't even make much sense! When you're trying to explain it to another person they understand. Yet nothing changes much...

I think FF as a whole whould benefit massively for having a section on advice about this kind of stuff, rather than the se conversations burried in the forums. This is vital, it's not like the everyday forum post! I've tried to bring up the idea once but it didn't work as i intended...
1 year

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Munchies:
Being a woman is very hard in online feedist spaces. Female FAs and feeders have a unique challenge because so many feedists see being an FA or a feeder as a masculine thing and being a feedee as a feminine thing.

I am not saying this to say that female FAs and feeders have it worse than female feedees. God knows the kind of abuse I've seen them go through. I'm simply saying that we have different struggles.

I have lost count for the number of men who cannot believe a woman can be anything but a feedee. Some of them have tried their hardest to "convert" me to become one because "that's what women do". They have threatened, harrassed, and attempted to manipulate me just because I don't fit into their weird gender expectations.

I know why they think that way. When online feedist spaces first started, nearly all feeders and FAs were men and nearly all feedees were women. Even though times have changed, some things still linger.

Think about it. Why are men FAs and not MFAs? Why do some people think it's weird if a woman refers to herself as an FA and not an FFA? We've made great strides as a community, but we still have a ways to go.

Most female FAs and feeders are not crazy. If they don't feel welcome, they will leave. I don't blame them. Hell, some days I feel like I'm still here out of spite and not a desire to be around like minded people.

Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but they still aren't great. It's my hope that we has a community can make this place safer for women. It's win-win. If more women feel safe enough to be here, then it won't be has hard for male gainers and feedees to find femals FAs and feeders.

Enas:
Its ridiculous how easy fixing this is, except when you try to spread it through other people...
I don't understand why... It's such a simple logic to make things work better, i really don't understand. I guess it has to do more with sociological, rather than psychological reasons, because on the latter it doesn't even make much sense! When you're trying to explain it to another person they understand. Yet nothing changes much...

I think FF as a whole whould benefit massively for having a section on advice about this kind of stuff, rather than the se conversations burried in the forums. This is vital, it's not like the everyday forum post! I've tried to bring up the idea once but it didn't work as i intended...


That would not work. It would be a waste of time for whoever types it up.

Bigotry and internalized bigotry exist for a wide variety of personal and system issues. There's only so much you can do on the individual level because people are different. The best you can do is have a robust mod team that enforces the rules uniformly and fairly. And even then, things would still slip through the cracks.

You can't fix people. The best thing you can do is change the culture and the systems. And even that is an uphill battle.
1 year
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