General

I don't know if the world would be better or worse...

I don’t mean to stare, but when your muffin top that looked like a thin bicycle tire sticking over your belt turns into a dome sticking out about 3 inches, it’s hard not to notice. Go ahead and let it stick out, though. Let it go, let it go, don't hold it back anymore...


I already saw your quite round belly sticking out, go ahead and let it stick out so you can breathe. Straight on from the front, you are still pear shaped, so you aren’t hiding much anyway.


You can keep pulling your shorts back up over your belly, but they’re just going to slide back down.


Yes, you have a fairly sizable roll that forms in the front when you bend over. It forms around the sides, too. It’s going to be easier to breathe if you don’t try to suck it in.


“If you don’t help me eat these donuts, I’m going to get fat…”
1. That’s not much motivation for me…
2. It’s only one bag of mini-donuts.
3. You brought them in…
4. I could bring a dozen glazed full-size donuts tomorrow…


Changing what you order at Burger King so that it is smaller than what I am ordering will negatively impact the future of our relationship. Yes, this is the first “date”. Don’t change who you are or what you do for me or anyone. Order what you want. Be you.


You had about a saucer full of food, I doubt you are “totally stuffed”, you can have more…


I know I’m built like Jim Carey and you could pass for Dolph Lundgren, but that was stupid to comment on her weight. Now she’s wearing sweaters that cover up her belly.



I replied to this one:

Her: “My pants are getting tight…”
Me: “They make bigger sizes...”

Didn’t seem to be the right answer…



I did pass out bowls of ice cream at an event... Why, sure, I'll pass out ice cream...

"One or two scoops?"

I must admit that my two scoop servings might have been approaching three...

This sounds awesome! 👌🏻

“I feel like I could eat that entire extra large pizza…”

I doubt you could… Andrew Jackson doesn’t think so either…


Actual:

Her: “I think I might go up and get some more noodles and crab legs…”

Me: “I’m going back, I can get it if you want...”

I brought back a plate of noodles and about 8 crab legs.

Her: “Maybe I didn’t need the noodles.”

Unfortunately, when we left she had her jacket folded over her arm in front of her stomach.

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Your shirt seems a bit smaller than the last time you wore it. I see the 10 speed bicycle tire in the front, and barely starting around the sides. Good job, keep up the good work.

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Yes, I can tell your belly roll is a bit bigger. Have a donut or four.

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Sadly, going up a size will probably keep your shirt from riding up and showing your belly button.

Haha that funny. Did you say it in reality? 🤪

Fortunately? Unfortunately? I did not say the last three.

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More non-verbal

Dr. says I am overweight and qualify for the infusion during Covid.

"Everyone's overweight", she says as she turns sideways for a profile view.

"Yes, but I'm 70lbs overweight. You're like maybe 10?", I think to myself.

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Someone I know missed qualifying for gastric bypass surgery by 40-50 pounds.

"Well, there's a tasty way to fix that..."

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Someone I know missed qualifying for the infusion during Covid because she told the Dr. she had just lost 20lbs. We all had it at the same time. A couple of years have passed. It probably wouldn't be an issue now...

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Your button looks like it's going to pop open any second. That can't be comfortable. You should wrap a hair band through the button hole and over the button so you can breathe...

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Yes, you need to be dressed when you come in. Your outfit just barely qualifies... I assume you've just been swimming?

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Go for the gusto, and order the quart container of rice from the Chinese restaurant, she says. I wouldn't have eaten 5 Arby Melts before I came in if I had known we were ordering out...

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You've gained 20 pounds from December to April? Good job, keep up the good work.

The little black dress seems a bit ‘littler’ since you wore it last. You can keep pulling it down, but it’s just going to ride back up.

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I’m guessing your dress wasn’t quite as form fitting when you bought it. It’s still ok to breathe and relax your stomach.

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Your dress is very tight - the only way it could be tighter is if it was paint... If you have to reach up or bend down to get something, it’s going to be too short. You probably can’t, but if you eat a big meal, it’s going to ride up, too.

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It probably isn’t the look you were going for, but when you sit like that with your bicycle =-type shorts pulled up over your belly, your belly forms a B, so you have two smaller rolls. instead of a D… You would probably feel better without the constricting band in the middle of your belly. You could eat more, too, but you probably don’t want to do that.

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You don’t have to be so nervous… Careful you don’t drop your book. Or trip over your own feet.

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“I may not look like it, but I do watch what I eat.”

Yes, you do. Looks like you could eat a bit more.

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Looks like you had
1 hot dog
1 small basket potato wedges
32 ounce lemonade
chicken sandwich
potato

Was that enough for the entire day? You could have more...

I would have eaten more, but I guess I am probably 100lbs heavier than you are...

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