Lifestyle tips

I've been fat for so long now, it's rare that I get comments. I can't even remember the last time someone said anything. Even as I gain more weight. I think once you're fat for awhile people just accept that that's who you are.

Sounds like a different way of saying, "get big enough to where people start to forget that you weren't fat at one point" lol.

I got a letter on this topic on my old feedist advice site. Apparently my advice worked out:


What can I say...?

Dear Dr. Feeder,
My name is Amanda. Last year I began university, and because of this had to move away from home onto campus. One thing I had promised myself to do when I moved out of home was to gain weight. Since moving onto Campus I have just let myself go completely, and as a result gained 50lbs. However, this summer I will be visiting my mother back home whom is very into healthy eating, and so forth. Let me say right now that I am not loosing any weight whatsoever for her, nor do I intend to stop. But, I do not know what to say to her to avoid her from being too upset.
What can I say to prevent her from being too angry?--Amanda, April 2, 2009

Dear Amanda,
You may not be able to keep her from being angry. Settle for keeping her from nagging you to death. Try:

1. If she gets angry, DON'T get angry yourself.
2. If she asks why you gained, say it's because you like to eat and don't mind the extra weight.
3. If she asks you why you don't diet, say you've tried diets and have found you're happier eating what you want.
4. If she makes a comment about your weight that is not in the form of a question, don't respond.
5. If she says something mean, say "Now you're just being mean."

And remember the three NEVERs:

NEVER apologize for your gain;
NEVER apologize for your size;
NEVER apologize for your appetite.

If she tries to get you to eat healthy food (fruit & vegetables, etc.) go ahead and eat it. It will make her feel better. You can still eat your favorite goodies as well.
If she won't shut up about it, say 'look, I know you're just saying all this because you love me and you want what's best for me, and I appreciate that, but it's my decision and you need to respect that.'
Let me know how it goes!--Dr. Feeder

Dear Dr. Feeder,
Sorry for the long reply period, I only flew in a couple of days ago. As you can imagine, it wasn't great at all. But surprisingly I didn't feel down about it whatsoever! When I first gave my mother a hug, she put her hand on my stomach and patted and squeezed it, constantly glancing down at it. It was horribly awkward. For some reason I expected that would be it. Later that night she gave me a brief "discussion" about my weight and asked me if anything was wrong and so forth. I explained to her exactly what you suggested, that I was happy the way I was and didn't feel the need to diet. Amazingly though, that was it!
Thankfully, she hasn't said anything else yet about my weight which I'm very pleased with. Thank-you so much for your help - the food here is quite healthy, so for that reason I'm looking forward to returning home where I can eat what I like.
Again, thank-you so much for the wonderful advice,--Amanda, May 4, 2009

Dear Amanda,
You're welcome, I'm glad it worked out.--Dr. Feeder

Yes! You just described me haha

Iv had the pleasant experience of no one really caring about my weight gain

The only person who has asked me about it, is the gym owner of the Gym i go to. But even then she kinda justs asks if I'm doing ok in life and such. Only really the amount of pounds I've put on when I weigh myself there etc.

I just tell her that I'm just enjoying my life haha

My wife is LITERALLY the most massive person in our extended family, all across the world.

They always want her to lose weight, but they're good people and think they're helping her. And she's confident and realistic, so she knows they're trying to help- even if she doesn't need help, so she giggles and shrugs them off while pretending she's going to lose weight any day now.

Anytime someone makes a comment on my weight,I say "thanks for noticing I've been eating well!"....

I'm thinking that, before my 30 day challenge spirals completely out of control, I should probably have a conversation with my wife about my desire to experiment with gaining weight. After gaining 12+ pounds over the course of the 30 day challenge, I'm tempted to go for a more prolonged gain after the challenge is over (maybe seeing how many pounds I can gain before my next physical with my doctor in November). But before I go that route, I'd want to make sure my wife is at least okay with it, if not full on supporting me chubbing up. It would definitely be fun to have my significant other be on board and potentially working towards making me fatter.

I had planned on telling her at some point, but she had a recent, weight related health scare herself and I felt like it might be a bit concerning/insensitive to say, "I know you've been dealing with this because of you putting on 170lbs, but I kind of want to become a fatty now too."

I would probably be fine either way, but gaining the extra weight recently on my 30 day challenge has been a lot of fun and it might be fun to gain for a few more months and get even more fat and jiggly (and see the shock on my doctor's face walking into his office pushing 200lbs lol).

I wish to have such family. My close family members are obsessed with healthy lifestyle. I have only one aunt that loves to cook and every time I visit her she making sure I am eating well, she even loves to push me to eat even more. She knows I was very skinny once, so she’s always putting a lot of food in front of me. But she is the only one in the family that acts like this ☹️

I've been fat my whole life. I was a chubby child and an obese teenager. I seem to remember my grandmother, who had zero filter, commenting when I gained 100 lb in high school at one point. My average weight is anywhere between 280 and 370, and I'm right in the middle of that now at about 325. A few years ago, when I started having really high blood pressure (in part as a side effect from an anti anxiety medication), I lost 170 pound in a fourteen months, and that seemed to be the only time I got comments (even though, at 5'3" and 200, I was still fat). I've regained most of it, though, with no one seeming to notice. I wonder if that will change as I continue to gain toward my goal of 500.