Lifestyle tips

Blunt? Baby girl I'm blunt. I have no problem with other blunt people. I take issue with you being the worst kind of ally possible. Because what you posted earlier states that you're the sort of person who changes with the wind.

You might have your personal beliefs on things, but what you outwardly support depends on what the world at large supports. That's not good.

Look, I don't expect you to be like me and push back against bigotry whenever you see it. Again, I totally understand how it can be extremely scary, and not everyone is able to deal with that. But don't start virtue signaling about all the wonderful things you could do if defending fat people was "cool actually".

Hey fellas, I didn’t mean to make everyone upset. And I’m sorry for making everyone triggered about what I said. But at the same time it kinda did made be now more aware that I can’t always go with the wind. 👍

I know that I am better than this and I will try to do what I can in supporting and defending plus size people. After all I do still believe in body positivity/liberation after all.

Thanks for understanding. And yeah I would never abandon a significant other for anything related with the topic that we’re talking about. I’m pretty much loyal until the relationship is over.

Why is it that even with body positivity and size acceptance becoming mainstream that feedism is still seen as bad by most, even regular fat people who don't share the fetish?
My opinion:
1. Encouraging fat gain is seen as encouraging someone to be more unhealthy. Almost like saying, "I only love you because you're an alcoholic". Substance abuse being analogous to food abuse. And most people see alcoholism as very self destructive. And many people see size acceptance as promoting the person's psychological health by ignoring the cost to their physical health.
2. It's almost the opposite of body positivity/acceptance, because it's saying we want someone to change the way their body already is to please us. It would be one thing to say someone is fat and I love them or like their body that way, but saying someone is thin and to please me they need to change their body by becoming fat is obviously not acceptance. I think to people outside this community, it feels very much like using the other person by projecting our desires onto them and expecting it to manifest in a physical way. Taking control of the feedee's own body and body image away from them.

I think the biggest disconnect in all this is not understanding or believing why someone would want to be or change to become fat. But we know that people actively go on weight loss programs all the time. They want to change their bodies. And promoting that is totally fine (in the mainstream). Yet promoting or helping someone go the opposite direction (to get fat) is bad. So it's obvious that being a healthy happy thin person is still not seen as equal to being a healthy happy fat person.

This is the biggest reason. That and most public depictions of feeders are predatory men taking advantage of women with low self-esteem.

I think this was well said overall. 👍

They should be ready. More and more plus size models are speaking about fat people in public, and now the situation is better than it was a decade ago, so times are changing for the best.

Correct. Well said. 👏🏻

Morbidly A Beast:
People who have been fat all their lives have feelings associated with it and them seeing people enjoying what causes them so much suffering could come off as trivializing their struggles and hardships. Also yeah, people aren’t ready for people who are fat and happy

DollGirl:
This is a very valid point, Morbidly A Beast. At this point I am fairly open about being a feedist (on both sides of it) and often have to educate people about the kink, including fat guys I have met on vanilla dating apps and other kinksters not in this community.

However. I have kept quiet about it with regard to my mother, who has been fat her whole life and grew up in an era when there was no body acceptance. She faced a lot of rejection and ridicule and hurt in her life as a result of being fat. Even from my father. I worry that she would see this kink and my interests as trivializing and insulting.[/quote]

This is a good point and I like the specific example that DollGirl gives. I think we can broaden this context to anything where the socially constructed values system is changing or reversing - there will be hurt feelings on both sides. I think the most difficult argument for anyone to accept is one that challenges their established worldview (even if it's a worldview that disadvantages them personally).
Doesn't this sound just like something parents say to their children or the classic boomer/millennial rift. "When we were kids, we had/didn't have ____." You could insert many things here: fat acceptance, religion, the internet, segregation, un-closeted homosexuality, contraceptives, college education, good paying jobs, crippling student debt/loan forgiveness, drugs, a mortgage/affordable housing, Bitcoin, free healthcare, etc.
Whenever a major societal value or construct shifts, even if we can mostly all agree it's for a good reason, people will still be bitter about it. Why wouldn't they be? They spent their whole life hearing and believing something like "the only way to get ahead in life and be wanted is to be thin, and therefore beautiful." Just to later find out, actually all of that was BS. "Your fat body was beautiful all along" and yet you spent 40 years being unhappy about it for no good reason! That must be simply infuriating.

Reading this thread got me thinking a bit. I remember a wave of pro-anorexia content creators and the such going around a few years back. I'm sure there are still some out there. The mainstream is all for weight loss. As it's seen as someone bettering themselves. But then there is pro-anorexia which is for obvious reasons seen as a horrible thing. Not only for the person influenced but then people influencing.

Can there be a sort of connection where weight gain might be more accepted by the mainstream if the "lighter side" (no pun intended) of weight gain is promoted more. The mutual relationships to alleviate the view of predatory men going after women. FFAs that would help with the previous and give a voice to the women FAs. Also that in the vast majority of cases most people aren't gaining, whether on their own or with a feeder, to the point of immobility and severe health problems. Of course there are those that do and there are health problems that arise for many. I think feedism is all to often seen as the extreme, like the pro-anorexia stuff. Where most don't go that far nor want too.

Now, having said all that I know there are people that do want those extremes. I'm not one to say nor think people should be told how they can live their own lives. Or do what they want with their own bodies. But, when I see so many who find this community and it improves their life. Makes them feel they aren't alone and the only ones who like this stuff. That there are many positives to feedism that get glossed over for the taboo. At least by the mainstream. It's much more of a story to show the extremes. The pro-anorexia might be the same, I dont know. Basically seems we've gotten bad PR. But that as more people come to the community and things progress it won't be seen as extreme. Because for the most part it isn't. Just some thoughts.