Fat experiences

I think I might be reaching the point where I'm in a weight gain spiral now. I have been more passive about gaining for the most part, but if I get a bit hungry, when I'm out and about, I'll pull into a drive thru and get 1000-2000 calories worth of food for a meal and, of I'm playing video games late at night and I start to feel a bit hungry, I make sure I get some snack that can end up being 500+ calories where before I wouldn't eat the late night snack. Regularly eating 3500-4000 calories on my light days and, on days where I get the urge to stuff myself, I can end up eating 6000+ calories. And, when I have second thoughts about gaining, I normally end up pigging out a bit and getting to close to that 4000 calorie mark for the day and then I'm like, "well, I can always stop tomorrow," and that "tomorrow" keeps moving further down the road as I continue to get bigger and enjoy delicious meals and yummy treats.

sounds like you’re enjoying yourself and you are pretty cognizant of how much you’re eating I don’t even pay attention to how many calories I’m eating tbh for me it’s all about how much I think I need vs how much I’m overstuffing when I order, there alot of times where I don’t get enough sometimes it’s like omg I can’t breathe

I kind of know the feeling, just a few weeks ago I was thinking of actually losing weight to gain again long term.

Instead I end up going on another round of double cream....except doubling down and aiming to consume 2/3-1 600ml tub a day (approx 1848-2772kcal), which means I'm consuming about 4000-5000kcal a day right now.

Finally at my heaviest and I don’t want to stop.

Definitely identify with this! That feeling of "just a bit more, and I'll be fatter/bigger/more stuffed than I've ever been" is very intoxicating.

I'm right there with you, especially when I started to realize it was having lasting results the thrill has been growing stronger with every stuffing.