General

Munchies:
That's not what I'm getting at. I won't deny that men and women approach things differently. But a lot of that is nurture over nature.

Here's a quick and dirty about what I mean:

psychcentral.com/blog/love-matters/2018/08/why-we-choose-the-mates-we-do-and-how-to-choose-the-best-mate-for-you

I've never put much stock in the opinions of evolutionary psychology. It has a male, white, Western, cishet, traditional viewpoint. And while there's nothing wrong with being a white Western cishet traditional man, you have to admit it has a very limited viewpoint.

Enas:
Or the lack of nurture. The amount of people who sadly end up having their lives sacrificed for the profit motive (instead of doing other thigns like taking *good* care of children) seems to be growing by the day!

Munchies:
Enas, I am confused. How does this tie in into anything either party has said?

Enas:
Im talking about the lack of socialization in general. People rarely talk with other people of different age groups (that also have more experience on almost all aspects of life)

I mean the topic is kinda... Why not female feeders around? I have a few ideas. think of a very stereotypical bad male attitude. Dude that exclusively hangs out "with the boys" and never gets taught why to respect women (and other people in general) but instead his social enviroment pushes him in the direction of the attitude that to have a girlfriend is a man's trophy.

That's a very specific example, but in general the problem is ignorance on people, i think. Wich is caused by the lack of care for the reasons i mentioned earlier. I hope my point is at least somewhat clear?

Munchies:
It is clearer, yes.

I don't think it's entirely ignorance. There are many a guy who knows better but chooses not to be. You see it a lot from the guys who are cheating on their wives. But the worse ones are the "enlightened men".


These guys think that because the have all the "correct opinions" they are good people. But they still feel entitled to women for being "a good person."

I encounter both groups fairly regularly. The cheaters will treat women in ways their spouses wouldn't tolerate. The enlightened men will say all the right words for a while. However, if they are called out for saying or doing something out of picket, they will lash out.

Still, you're not entirely wrong.

Enas:
Im talking about the lack of socialization in general. People rarely talk with other people of different age groups (that also have more experience on almost all aspects of life)

I mean the topic is kinda... Why not female feeders around? I have a few ideas. think of a very stereotypical bad male attitude. Dude that exclusively hangs out "with the boys" and never gets taught why to respect women (and other people in general) but instead his social enviroment pushes him in the direction of the attitude that to have a girlfriend is a man's trophy.

That's a very specific example, but in general the problem is ignorance on people, i think. Wich is caused by the lack of care for the reasons i mentioned earlier. I hope my point is at least somewhat clear?

Munchies:
It is clearer, yes.

I don't think it's entirely ignorance. There are many a guy who knows better but chooses not to be. You see it a lot from the guys who are cheating on their wives. But the worse ones are the "enlightened men".


These guys think that because the have all the "correct opinions" they are good people. But they still feel entitled to women for being "a good person."

I encounter both groups fairly regularly. The cheaters will treat women in ways their spouses wouldn't tolerate. The enlightened men will say all the right words for a while. However, if they are called out for saying or doing something out of picket, they will lash out.

Still, you're not entirely wrong.

Enas:
Can you described in a bit more depth those enlightened ones? I don't think I've come across one to be fair (or at least haven't noticed) im really curious about it

Enas:
Im talking about the lack of socialization in general. People rarely talk with other people of different age groups (that also have more experience on almost all aspects of life)

I mean the topic is kinda... Why not female feeders around? I have a few ideas. think of a very stereotypical bad male attitude. Dude that exclusively hangs out "with the boys" and never gets taught why to respect women (and other people in general) but instead his social enviroment pushes him in the direction of the attitude that to have a girlfriend is a man's trophy.

That's a very specific example, but in general the problem is ignorance on people, i think. Wich is caused by the lack of care for the reasons i mentioned earlier. I hope my point is at least somewhat clear?

Munchies:
It is clearer, yes.

I don't think it's entirely ignorance. There are many a guy who knows better but chooses not to be. You see it a lot from the guys who are cheating on their wives. But the worse ones are the "enlightened men".


These guys think that because the have all the "correct opinions" they are good people. But they still feel entitled to women for being "a good person."

I encounter both groups fairly regularly. The cheaters will treat women in ways their spouses wouldn't tolerate. The enlightened men will say all the right words for a while. However, if they are called out for saying or doing something out of picket, they will lash out.

Still, you're not entirely wrong.

Enas:
Can you described in a bit more depth those enlightened ones? I don't think I've come across one to be fair (or at least haven't noticed) im really curious about it

Munchies:
You see it a lot with so-called "progressive" men. They'll tell you they believe in women's right, LGBTQIA+ rights, stand against racism, and all the other good things. But sometimes, they'll say something that's a little messed up. Maybe they'll make a racially insensitive joke or say something casually misogynistic.

I won't hold that part against them. To err is human and even the most progressive person will mess up. However, what makes these men stand out is that they've made "being a good person" their entire personality. So any time you point out something they shouldn't have said or done, they can't handle it.

They'll make all kinds of excuses as to why you're being too sensitive. Sometimes they'll try to gaslight you and accuse you of things you never did or said.

I remember one time talking to a white man in chat a long time ago. This was before I was comfortable revealing my race. The man was fairly progressive, so I eventually mentioned that I was black.

The guy was chill about it at first. And then he made a comment about loving how sassy black women are. Now, I am a sassy black woman, but I am not sassy because I'm black. And there are plenty of black women who aren't sassy.

I wasn't offended by what he said, but I did point out the inaccuracy of his statement. I expected him to say something along the lines of "oops, my bad" and then we'd move on. But no. The man had a melt down instead. Started accusing me of hating white men.

It was super weird, so I dipped.

Munchies:
It is clearer, yes.

I don't think it's entirely ignorance. There are many a guy who knows better but chooses not to be. You see it a lot from the guys who are cheating on their wives. But the worse ones are the "enlightened men".


These guys think that because the have all the "correct opinions" they are good people. But they still feel entitled to women for being "a good person."

I encounter both groups fairly regularly. The cheaters will treat women in ways their spouses wouldn't tolerate. The enlightened men will say all the right words for a while. However, if they are called out for saying or doing something out of picket, they will lash out.

Still, you're not entirely wrong.

Enas:
Can you described in a bit more depth those enlightened ones? I don't think I've come across one to be fair (or at least haven't noticed) im really curious about it

Munchies:
You see it a lot with so-called "progressive" men. They'll tell you they believe in women's right, LGBTQIA+ rights, stand against racism, and all the other good things. But sometimes, they'll say something that's a little messed up. Maybe they'll make a racially insensitive joke or say something casually misogynistic.

I won't hold that part against them. To err is human and even the most progressive person will mess up. However, what makes these men stand out is that they've made "being a good person" their entire personality. So any time you point out something they shouldn't have said or done, they can't handle it.

They'll make all kinds of excuses as to why you're being too sensitive. Sometimes they'll try to gaslight you and accuse you of things you never did or said.

I remember one time talking to a white man in chat a long time ago. This was before I was comfortable revealing my race. The man was fairly progressive, so I eventually mentioned that I was black.

The guy was chill about it at first. And then he made a comment about loving how sassy black women are. Now, I am a sassy black woman, but I am not sassy because I'm black. And there are plenty of black women who aren't sassy.

I wasn't offended by what he said, but I did point out the inaccuracy of his statement. I expected him to say something along the lines of "oops, my bad" and then we'd move on. But no. The man had a melt down instead. Started accusing me of hating white men.

It was super weird, so I dipped.

Enas:
Okay, that's definitely crazy. People like this don't really understand the world and what progressive movements are. I think they're just trying to be nice on the outside to be accepted by society (with mediocre results) and that's propably because of hyperindividualism and the isolation coming with it, that the beloved Liberal (in the American sense) ideology has brought to people.

We live in crazy times...