General

Im officially my heaviest weight by a long shot but 5 pounds away from my goal of 240..I started at 200 but lately I've been considering going on a diet and training because im afraid of going too far I can't hide my gain anymore and im conscious of it..how to I keep going?

The question n is, do you fear being called out? Are there people in your everyday life who would care enough to notice?
If not, I would suggest try to stay at your current weight for a while, see if you feel self-conscious after you get used to it. Then proceed in whatever way is right for you.

You’re an adult and not hurting anyone. Do what makes you happy (including losing weight if it makes you more comfortable)

Anytime someone is unsure if they want to keep gaining, I always recommend maintaining until they can make the choice for themselves. Internet strangers can tell you whatever you like, but you're the one that will have to live with your actions.