General

A lot of racism is incidental. You are not trying to be, but it still happens. This is why I am giving him a chance to address it and not going full tilt like you've seen me do to other people.

Not really



I think you should apologize it is in poor taste. Especially if you’ve never seen the movie, and have zero context of it.

It feels creepy because it is.

Nothing wrong with wanting a fat wife. This is a fat fetish site. However, he wants said wife to hang other fat women in hopes of her getting fatter for the sake of his fetish.

It's controlling because he wants her to hang around specific people for the sake of his fetish. It's objectifying because she isn't the one that's looking for these kinds of relationships. And OP had admitted that he isn't married, so this woman doesn't exist.

It's creepy because he is trying to research how to control her life before they even get together.

Not really



This is true. This did not need to escalate.

He could have said something along the lines of, "I wasn't trying to be racist. This scene comes from this movie. This is what was happening in the context of the movie. I was trying to make a joke based on this line from the movie. But I can understand why you might think that."

This did not happen. Instead, when I brought it up and mentioned my past trauma involving the KKK, he just ignored it.

Please tell me what racism I did and how it's racist.


Until I know what precisely I am accused of I won't consider saying sorry.

It wasn't laugh worthy, yes. But you don't see late night talk shows spending 1/2 of their run time apologising.

Please tell me what racism I did and how it's racist.



You’ve had it explained to you. With detail just take a second to examine what has been said to you and reflect on it.

I’m personally not trying to raise my cortisol levels on this subject so I’m done

I'm not baby nor girl. Why call me this?


What racism? Did I even mention an ethnicity or race?



Baby girl is what I call misogynistic men who start having tantrums when people call them out on their mess.

As for the racism ...

You did not say anything racist. But being racist is more than saying slurs.

My initial problem was the gif. In it, a white man attracts the attention of two Klansmen. He then pulls a black man out from behind a rock who says something. As I mentioned before, I hadn't seen the movie this scene is from, but I assumed he said something similar to what you had said. I also correctly assumed you were making a joke based on that scene.

Setting the misogyny aside, to someone who hasn't seen the movie, this scene looks terribly racist. It looks like this white man is gleefully giving a black man to two Klansmen. Adding onto the fact that this is an older movie, and black people tended to be written in ways that accept their dehumanization, it wasn't a good look. So, I took issue with the fact that you posted it at all.

Morbidly A Beast was kind enough as to give me more context, so I looked up the scene in question:



Having watched this, I continue to have issues with this film, but these issues are now unrelated to the scope of this conversation. So, I will set them aside.

However, this does not absolve you of racism.

In my initial post, I calmly told you that I, a black woman, found the gif racist. I also mentioned that I have had run-ins with the KKK. This was a good opportunity for you to explain yourself. You did not do that. Instead, you ignored that part and only focused on the misogyny.

I brought it up again more than once, but you ignored it. You did not address it until I forced you to. You were happy to address the misogyny and not the racism.

The only conclusion I can come to is that despite your views on women, you want them to have a favorable opinion of you. However, you couldn't care less about how black people see you. Why? Because blackness isn't important to you.

Please tell me what racism I did and how it's racist.



Oh boy. It seems that I was right on the money about the racism.

When normal people of all races are told something they did/said was racist, the apologize and stop the thing in question. If they don't understand why it was racist, they will either respectfully ask what made it racist or research it themselves.

You are not doing that. You are defensive and lashing out. And it only makes you look even more racist. Stop while you are ahead.

Ya thats creepy, n the whole movie 'joke' I saw the flick so ya I got that. Yet really bro say your sorry.. You shoulda quoted the movie, so people would have gotten the context. Yet wanting fat folks around so maybe you're lady would fatten up for your kink is just in poor taste, worse then the saddles quote..