General

[Part 1/2]

I guess that very few male fat fetishists who don’t lie to fat women about their fetish in real life are (and will ever be) in a relationship, am I wrong? The situation for male FAs is all but enviable.

Outside of the fat fetish community, male fat admirers are considered as “perverts”, especially by fat women. Most fat women are just horrified when they meet a male fat fetishist, many of them then lose a lot of weight, they find the motivation they never had before, even when they were mocked at. In 2005, the thriller “Feed” portrayed male fat fetishists as monsters, with a comparison to pedophilia. Anyway, male fat fetishists and non fetishist fat women have too divergent interests (non fetishist fat women only dream of losing weight and they could succeed). In fact, male fat fetishists can have relationships only with female fat fetishists. What is the sex ratio in the fat fetish community? For example a few days ago on Fantasyfeeder: 8 men for 2 women. In addition, as I experience it since I live as a woman, fat women are in fact very successful with men, so the rare female members in the fat fetish community don’t need to wait for a male fat admirer who lives 300 km away, they already have too many partners in their neighborhood. The fat fetish community is an ocean of heterosexual men who will never find a partner (exception: dishonest FAs who tell in real life that they are just interested in “internal beauty”, but they live with risks).

If you’re a male fat fetishist, you probably don’t only have a passion for fat women, maybe you’re also a gainer (by the way, I think that it’s already a kind of “fetishist transvestism”, see below “autogynephilia”, you try to transform your body according to the fat women you admire). But fat men have a high estrogen level, are feminized, less potent with women. On the other hand, they would pass very well as women (even without HRT, see my pictures ;-) ).

In January/February 2020, life conduced me to transition socially to a woman (only make-up, clothes, etc., no HRT and no operation). What I explained above wasn’t the reason, I didn’t consciously follow a strategy, but afterward, I realized that it was the best that could happen to me. I must say here that I’m not typical at all: I’m asexual (I don’t like real sex with another person), nearly impotent (because of medicament Zoloft and fatness), I don’t like being in a relationship, for me love is only friendship (I really enjoy friendship with women). In my head I live in a world without men (for example I hear nearly only female singers). Historically I admired women so much that I imitated them. I don’t know how MtF transitioning makes sense for a man who differs significantly from this scheme.

If you’re a man who used to have no access to anything which has to do with love or sex, what you will see as a woman very will impress you. You go out and see men turning their head, complimenting you, chasing you, cars driving slower at you, you hitch and the 1st car stops (a man alone), you receive a lot of messages on social media (even too many). As men are not selective and have a strong propensity for fetishism, all women (this also includes transgenders/transvestites) are attractive for at least some men. You look in the mirror and you love what you see: I’d have a lot to tell about it, this is called “autogynephilia”. I don’t want to enter the debate about transidentity, but autogynephilia is also an (acceptable) reason why some (heterosexual) men transition to women. I think that each heterosexual man has an autogynephilic side and can use it if needed. Advantage: “Your body your choice”, you can do all you want only with your own body (being as fat as you want, having long hair, etc.) You decide how you look, you’re yourself your ideal girlfriend.

When you live as a woman, you have many female friends, you’re very close to women, most of them even pamper you.

As a woman you get fetishized for your weight. As a man, you will be vilified if you do that with women, you can barely be fetishized yourself even if it is your dream and puritanical feminists call it “male privilege”. As a woman you now have the right to do wonderful things like wearing make-up, dressing sexy, wearing crop-tops, high heels, mini-skirts, etc. As a man it is forbidden (only sad clothes are allowed, I call it “half-Kabul”), and again, puritanical feminists call it “male privilege”. When you dress sexy as a fat woman, people react very strongly in both directions. Some people “hate” it, make fun at you, show how “disgusted” they are (if you’re into fat humiliation it will be a great feeling, and I think many men who do it are in fact sadists, it’s a sexual SM game, I’d have a lot to tell about it), while other people love it and get crazy about you.

[Part 2/2]

By living as a woman you have the possibility (that’s not an obligation) to reduce a natural imbalance: even outside of the fat fetish community, many men don’t have access to anything which has to do with love/sex, because in mammals, females are much more selective than males (see forbetterscience.com/2021/03/18/female-choice-by-meike-stoverock-book-review/ ). Some of these men are very happy to find people like me (non-selective Ersatz-women). If you’re not at all into men, the idea of doing things with men may disgust you. It disgusted me at the beginning, but I got used to it.

I believe that MtF transitioning (some call it in this case “transmaxxing”, which is acceptable in my view if you respect basic rules like “Don’t enter women-only areas”, “Don’t benefit from measures designed to promote women”, etc.) is THE solution for some/many incels, but also for some/many male fat fetishists. In my case, I blossom, I love my current life.

Oof

Please take your incel nonsense somewhere else. I'm glad that transitioning helped you, but that doesn't make you any less of an incel. Grow up.

It's transgender, but yeah.

Nothing wrong with being trans, nb, genderfluid, or anything else. The problem is the onion-esque layers of misogyny going on here.

The arguement is that women have things easier than men. So if an incel wants to sleep with women, their best bet is to become a woman. Then they can have as much sex as they want.

It's icky and predatory. Again, there is nothing wrong with being trans. The issue is the misogyny and only the misogyny.

It's a tricky thing. And unless you have a working understanding of intersectional feminism, gender studies, and incel ideology, it can be hard to put the ick factor into words.

And that is exactly what they are counting on.

Another thing I want to add is how ironically transphobic OP's explanation of trans-ness is.

It is very clear that OP views being transgender as a sexual perversion. It is not. If you read OP's posts, it's clear that they don't see trans women as actual women. Instead, they are perverted men trying to "live the easy life" of a woman.

Not to diminish OP's coming out story, but using the MtF pipeline for men to have sex with women is flawed, in both theory and practice.

First, fully transitioning with bottom/top surgery will leave that person sterile, and if you're interested in having biological children, you will have to freeze your sperm/eggs which will have a set cost per year to preserve. Even when you get to use it, there is a chance the batch has gone bad, and that's the end of it. For women that want families, this will be a big hurdle unless she wants to adopt.

Even when trying to preserve organ function by using T-gel patches, the fluids may become clear if the estrogen overwhelms the testosterone, and the gonads shrink. You can still use your banana to a degree, but even if you want to use it as a contraceptive, you may produce enough T to get someone pregnant.

Secondly, with enough estrogen for a long period of time, MtF's usually begin to see sexuality differently. In some cases, they may lose interest in women, and start chasing men, or what they look for in sex and fetishes may be completely different. For bisexuals, atypical sexualities like feedism, and/or bottoms, this may make little difference, but for women who are picky, they will notice.

Third, although laws have cracked down on escort services, they still exist if you know where to look. If you have no commitment to dating and have zero rizz with cash to burn, there are women that are DTF. Depending on the country, transitioning may be cheaper at first, but has a runaway effect after a certain point.

That said, there are aspects to learning about women that may be useful. Fashion, hygiene, and arts and crafts are useful when socializing, and if you can meet a girl halfway, you can at least be friends with them. There is something to be said about being broke and dating, but self-improvement does not always mean getting cut and buff; for most on this forum, that may be the last thing on their mind. By getting a decent career and saving a budget for dating, you can be ahead of the curb and sustain playing the long game. The dating pool and job hunting are similar in that both require patience to find the glass slipper that fits; if you don't have the time to be fun and/or attractive, prepare to make compromises on both sides of the aisle, and everywhere in between. Even then, being single is not the end of the world, and it's better to have a relationship you like later on in life instead of getting sucked into a relationship which drains both parties.

There's a lot of good points here, but I want to point out two things.

1. Medically transitioning doesn't suddenly change your sexual orientation. At most, it might make you feel more comfortable getting in touch with your true sexuality.

2. While self-care and being financially stable are very good things, they mean nothing if you have a garbo personality. You don't necessarily need rizz to catch a woman's eye. Plenty of us like shy, awkward men. But it's very hard to find a woman to date you if you subscribe to incel ideology.

Oh boy, where do I even begin?
Your claim that all straight men have autogynephilia deep down is just completely absurd projection. I promise you they don't. It's wild that you suggest transition as a strategy for lonely cisgender men to get laid. Why would they want to go through a huge multi-year ordeal (including re-training themselves to move and sound feminine at all times), medicalize themselves for life, expose themselves to huge potential risks and complications, and give themselves gender dysphoria in the process? One of those big risks is losing all sex drive or becoming impotent like yourself, which would totally defeat the purpose of the entire exercise for them, right? If forcing yourself to get used to having sex with other guys is part of the process, then surely it would be much easier to force yourself to just be bisexual instead of going through all this effort to attract straight guys right? Stop trying to gaslight cis people into thinking they're trans. Detransitioners are a growing problem for a reason. Go hatch eggs somewhere else.

I'm not going to insult incels or scold them for misogyny, because I think that's unproductive, and I know it comes from a place of genuine emotional pain and hopelessness. Incels are mentally trapped in a community of guys who constantly gas each other up about how worthless they are and how they're going to die alone without ever feeling intimacy. They prefer to wallow in misery because it's easier to externalize their problems and blame it on things outside of their control like losing the genetic lottery. However, their basic assumptions about women are obviously wrong. Looks are NOT the only thing that matters to women. Confidence and charisma (and hygiene) are skills that can be cultivated, and they count for a lot. The only other thing that you really need in order to date is to have enough financial stability that you aren't broke. Most women aren't into NEETs. Even then, It doesn't matter too much if you're ok with having friends with benefits, since it's such a casual arrangement. Personally, my own experiences attest to this. I have several factors that most incels would conclude makes me undateable. They'd probably rate me a 3 on a good day because they're harsh af. Yet, I've never had that much of an issue finding partners whenever I've honestly tried. And that's even within the feedist community, so the idea that it's impossible to find women you're compatible with is simply untrue.

If I had to guess, I think the main issue that limits their success (before finding the incel community) is social awkwardness. I saw an incel video that they claimed was absolute proof of women's cruelty to ugly men, and it was just an awkward guy that didn't know how to have a conversation or what to say, so he tried to introduce a couple of onlyfans girls he just met to his parents WHILE THEY WERE STREAMING ON ONLYFANS. The girls couldn't stop laughing about it, and I don't blame them. Of course incels assumed they were laughing at his facial structure instead of his actions, because that's the easy way out. There's another similar issue with most of the redpill community/manosphere. They will make accurate observations, drop a few nuggets of actual wisdom, and then generalize the hell out of it and jump to some wild conclusions because of it. Like Fresh & Fit actually believe that 50% of all women are getting flown out to Dubai by their rich sugar daddies, lol. I think one of the biggest culprits in the loneliness epidemic is the apparent fact that 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a girl in their lives. I guess cases like Amber Heard are really spooking them that much huh? Of course it's more nuanced and complicated than that, but that's a topic for another day.

Anyway, on the trans topic, the one clarification I want to make for people is that 'transsexual' is still a valid word that a lot of trans folks self-identify as. According to them, transsexual refers to trans people who have gender dysphoria (the classic "born in the wrong body" feeling), who want to medically transition to alleviate it. 'Transgender' is more of an umbrella term that includes other subgroups such as non-binary, gender fluid, various neogenders, femboys (depending on who you ask), and yes, even guys with autogynephilia like OP. They're basically straight dudes who fetishize the idea of having a woman's body. For them, transitioning isn't a way to align their body with how they feel inside, but a way to be submerged in kink 24/7. "Gender euphoria" indeed. Some people in the trans community welcome them with open arms, while many others don't like them and want to gatekeep them. Surprise, there are some bitter divisions in the trans community, just as there are in the LGBT community as a whole. A lot of it just boils down to who gets to use what label to define themselves.