General

Hi everyone :-) We all post here a lot about our partners’ body type, but today the subject is hair. And what looks good on certain body types.

For the majority of my wife’s adult life, she’s had fairly long hair, with mainly a thin, straight texture to it once it grows to a certain length. She had cut it short many years ago, before we knew each other, and it brought out a much curlier texture.

I’ve always been mainly a “long hair guy” when it comes to my favorite style on her. But her decision to cut it short again recently hasn’t turned out as bad as I thought it would. Think Lily from the AT&T commercials, hairstyle-wise. It was long enough to be “present” but much easier to deal with for her. (At 330 pounds as she is, it got harder for her over time to do certain maneuvers, such as putting it up).

Recently, she’s cut it a bit shorter to where it’s poofier in the back bit crunchy due to all the goop she puts in it to accentuate her curls. She’s mentioned keeping it short forever, which is surprisingly fine with me. She’s mentioned styles that I didn’t used to think looked good on larger women, but I could even imagine her looking great with a buzzcut or just shaving her entire head and starting over. I guess it’s because I end up loving everything she tries, even if I don’t at first.

Wondering how I can encourage her to keep going wild with shorter and shorter hair without pushing too hard? I am so seriously excited at the thought of her with a short, tight buzzed ‘do or maybe just shaving it bald and see what happens :-)

You don't. You let her decide what she wants and support her. You can throw out the idea and see what she thinks. But ultimately it's up to her.

I've got natural hair. My partner likes it natural, but he loves it when I straighten and show off my length. I don't mind it straight, but it's a lot of work to get it like that. So he's fine with it being a once in a blue moon kind of thing.

On the flip side, my partner has wavy hair. He prefers to keep it high and tight, but prefer it when it gets a little long. He doesn't like it when it gets all fluffy and wavy. However, sometimes he'll wait a little while between cuts because he knows I like it.

You do understand she is a whole person and not your personal doll to dress? Like seriously, this isn't that hard. "[wife's name], I just wanted to share how much your current hairstyle really suits you! What are your thoughts about it? Have you thought about any other styles in the future? Would you be open to suggestions or ideas I have?"

Instead of manipulating your partners, fucking talk to them and ask them things. It's not that hard.

Honestly questions like this overall absolutely nauseate me. Over and over and over again, it's not about "Encouraging" your partner to do anything. It's about seeing them as a WHOLE PERSON with their own feelings and autonomy. And time and time and time again, people here admit with their whole chest that they not only see their spouses and partners as people but have no interest in adjusting that perspective.

If I ever saw a partner of mine make a thread like this, I would not only dump them on the spot, I would ghost them.

You always play the same note :-) At least the trumpet still works, I guess.

She's not wrong tho.

Man I'd have cussed my partner out so hard if he tried to "encourage" me to straighten out my hair just because he likes it that way.

Oh if we're going with objectifying analogies, I keep playing the same note because what a shocker, you have absolutely no pitch or sense of tone and *still* can't manage to match the frequency of "treat other people like actual human beings."

Nope. Asking never hurts. Just make sure you respect her answer.

I think it's fine to tell her how much you like her hair shorter.
Paying her compliments is also acceptable in my book. Plus after gauging her reaction ask her.
Would she go shorter?
But remember it is her choice. But being positive and supportive can go a long way with people. Ultimately be patient and see what she wants.