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Why do people hit me up, start chatting and then ghost me right away?

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19Reggae4   United States
Joined 3 years
Ditzy:
That has been the way it is for many years so really nothing to worry about.
Don't take it personally is how I deal with it.
I have made tons of friends on here so if some ghost me Its not a big deal.
Its not about views, pics or how many likes you get anyway because those really don't mean anything.
Basically you cant force someone to chat with you.
Worrying about it is just stress you don't need.


Love the insightful comments. However as always people are confused and occasionally stupid little creatures who start off curious about something or someone but immediately look for red flags when in actuality they are the red flags for judging before they even see the person in person.

Crazy right?! I mean if you're gonna seriously browse and then message someone, as long as no death threats or harassment happens why not meet them in person and give it a shot?! Theres no justifiable excuse to remain insecure in something or someone just because.

You gotta understand: YOU initiated it by clicking on their profile. And YOU play games which not only wastes their time but YOURS ALSO! Is this fair?! Not just to them but to you?!

No. So please grow up and conduct yourself as an ethical adult. Real people want real relationships and that's perfectly normal and healthy, being fake because you "think" you're cute, sneaky and incognito as a coping mechanism for feeling safe is just childs play. You can do better than that!
1 year

Why do people hit me up, start chatting and then ghost me right away?

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Mrman1980uk   United Kingdom
Joined 22 years
Femmepiggy:
Have on probably 3 occasions now had someone reach out to me enthusiastically, get my other socials, chat with me a bunch etc… I start to feel like I’m building a real connection and then i get ghosted. Not just regular ghosted, full acct deletion ghosted.

Wtf is wrong with people?

If you like my profile and are interested that’s great!
But don’t start hitting me up, asking me for other socials, asking me about myself to get to know me, unless ur gonna hang around at least a little.

Idk, just tired of people doing this. Especially since THEY ARE THE ONES MESSAGING ME TO BEGIN WITH!

Makes me so mad. If you’re gonna hmu just to delete your acct the next day, do us both a favour and *** / don’t talk to me.

Childish behaviour from grown adults twice my age, insane lmao.


I have had this really quite a lot - even discounting the scammers.

This seems to be the almost inevitable outcome of nearly every interaction here and on similar sites.

I had one person here a few months ago who took a lot of effort to contact me (kept missing me in chat) - we eventually started talking off site very regularly and intensely (every day), and then she suddenly deleted her 3-year-old account here and the app that she used to message me. And it wasn't that doing so was in response to anything in particular that I had just done - the last message that I had sent was a photograph of a river on my walk home - and she replied before deleting.

There have been other instances, too - including a person ghosting mid-conversation in the chat, and standing me up for a third date (years ago; this was also someone who contacted me first) - and then contacting me a year later.

The trouble is that, because the ghosters, by definition, do not stay around, we very rarely know their motivation.
1 year

Why do people hit me up, start chatting and then ghost me right away?

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Mrman1980uk   United Kingdom
Joined 22 years
StoryEnjoyer:
Maybe some people just get spooked? I know that sounds weird but maybe some folks are good with the back and forth and then suddenly are like "wait I don't want to build a relationship with this person" Or maybe they are just into this as a fetish and nothing more and when they get the erm, "clarity" they seek they dip.

I had an experience where I was messaging someone local to me, was going great then I may have screwed something up or maybe she just got spooked by the whole thing and she cut it off immediately. That is okay though, it just happens!


Ghosts getting spooked - pun intended?
1 year

Why do people hit me up, start chatting and then ghost me right away?

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MrOverstuffed   United States
Joined 4 years
FeedeePet:
Have on probably 3 occasions now had someone reach out to me enthusiastically, get my other socials, chat with me a bunch etc… I start to feel like I’m building a real connection and then i get ghosted. Not just regular ghosted, full acct deletion ghosted.

Wtf is wrong with people?

If you like my profile and are interested that’s great!
But don’t start hitting me up, asking me for other socials, asking me about myself to get to know me, unless ur gonna hang around at least a little.

Idk, just tired of people doing this. Especially since THEY ARE THE ONES MESSAGING ME TO BEGIN WITH!

Makes me so mad. If you’re gonna hmu just to delete your acct the next day, do us both a favour and *** / don’t talk to me.

Childish behaviour from grown adults twice my age, insane lmao.


I can completely relate! It's happened numerous times and it sucks. I agree with some of the responses though, usually, I try to think optimistically and assume there had to be a reason why they left if they were so committed in the first place. Truthfully, I'm only getting a breadcrumb of their life, I don't truly know who they really are or what's going on in their life. I'm sorry that's happened to you though.
1 year
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