General

Exhausting

Thanks in advance for letting me get something off my chest. I just wanted to make the point that, this community is more than a dating hub, and this isn't OnlyFans.

Some people come here hoping to make a romantic connection. I hope you do, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Some people come here hoping to share what they look like, showcase content, and build a following. I wish you every bit of success, and I hope the way you choose to use this site helps you reach your goals.

That said, that's not all of us. Some of us are here because society has made it so taboo to actually enjoy our bigger bodies and have fun with gluttony, we can't talk about this major part of our lives with 90 percent of the people we know. Sure, they know we're fat. I'm nearly 470 pounds. It's obvious I like to eat. But that's very different that being able to share the joy I feel when I gain 10 pounds or consume 20,000 calories.

There are a lot of people here who respect the ways in which different people use this site, including those who use it more privately. But there are also others who are outraged that I don't want a feeder (I have a partner), I don't want anyone to send me money or food, and I'm not a content creator. I'm very specific about this in my profile, yet just about every day, I get angry messages from mostly men, demanding, "Show yourself" or "Your posts do nothing to turn me on. I need pictures." No. No you don't. You don't need pictures from me or anyone else of any gender on this site. There are plenty of platforms on which to find those and plenty of other people to follow. No one is entitled to anything from anyone else.

I'll add a caveat of that if, someone with no personal photos is demanding money, it's only natural to want some proof you're not being scammed. That's entirely different, and in that case, people have a right to protect themselves from con artists. People don't have a right, however, to make angry demands of someone who has never initiated contact with them and asks nothing of them.

People have a lot of reasons for not posting images. In my case, I have a partner, and he meets my needs in every way. I don't need to get anything anywhere else, including compliments or gratification. Furthermore, I used to have a very public online presence, and I had pictures stolen twice. I had to go through a huge hassle to get a fake profile taken down from another site. And to this day, there is still an amateur weight gain progress video out there using my images. That's a violation. And it feels very unsafe.

I guess I said this to say, there are lots of comments about how women especially create profiles and then disappear. I can't speak for everyone, but I do know that an aggressive follower can certainly be a trigger. Sure, we can report folks, and there is a block function. But more than that, we can respect each other and keep our entitlement in check. It's not really a lot to ask. And thanks to all the awesome people on the site who already understand that!
1 year

Exhausting

I couldn’t agree more, I love your pov on our community and I think more people need to hear it. I hate it so much to hear people skipping basic human respect and demanding that kind of shit from random people. You and everyone who doesn’t make content (or even does) owe nothing to any strangers. And they sure as hell don’t have any right to get angry at you. That’s awful and toxic af, and I hate anyone who thinks that’s okay.

Speaking from my pov, I’ve struggled to make literally just friends. I don’t need a sex buddy or to be kinky with anyone, and I’ve got through so many trial and errors because people don’t give a damn about guys who just want friends. Their minds are only set on girls they can get their hands on because they’re too stuck in this fantasy they created, so people like me who just want friends and to be able to have fun with feedism are pushed aside and ignored. I’ve even lost a lot of connections because the other person doesn’t understand I literally don’t want anything sexual.

I’m so sorry to hear how much our community harasses you and others, it’s not right and it’s horrible.
And yeah this community is all about figuring out who you are and what you like, and pervs breathing down your neck is the last fucking thing we need.
1 year

Exhausting

MrOverstuffed:
I couldn’t agree more, I love your pov on our community and I think more people need to hear it. I hate it so much to hear people skipping basic human respect and demanding that kind of shit from random people. You and everyone who doesn’t make content (or even does) owe nothing to any strangers. And they sure as hell don’t have any right to get angry at you. That’s awful and toxic af, and I hate anyone who thinks that’s okay.

Speaking from my pov, I’ve struggled to make literally just friends. I don’t need a sex buddy or to be kinky with anyone, and I’ve got through so many trial and errors because people don’t give a damn about guys who just want friends. Their minds are only set on girls they can get their hands on because they’re too stuck in this fantasy they created, so people like me who just want friends and to be able to have fun with feedism are pushed aside and ignored. I’ve even lost a lot of connections because the other person doesn’t understand I literally don’t want anything sexual.

I’m so sorry to hear how much our community harasses you and others, it’s not right and it’s horrible.
And yeah this community is all about figuring out who you are and what you like, and pervs breathing down your neck is the last fucking thing we need.


You nailed it. Everything you just said is spot on. I've been fat my whole life, and even I have been made really uncomfortable. I can't imagine if I was a young woman who knew I enjoyed say, a recent unintentional gain and wanted more, but was struggling within judgmental societal constructs. My thoughts and desires have been secret to this point. I come here to explore them, and BAM, my inbox is full of, 'Oink oink! Do you have KIK? I want to video chat and see that pig belly!' (Not my story, just a hypothetical.)

And you're also right about it being SO HARD to sort through the clowns to make friends. I've been lucky. I have three good platonic friends I've met on the sites, and I've met one in real life. I talk often with the other two about life, jobs, relationships, and yes, gaining and stuffing, in a nonsexual context. Everything I've said goes both ways, by the way. I'm not a man hater. I don't hate anybody! I think respect is just the least we can all do for one another!
1 year

Exhausting

MessyEater:
I couldn’t agree more.

Men, it is NOT ok to start a chat with hey piggy.

We’re not here to satisfy your specific kink.

It’s worse than it’s ever been, I think due to the likes of only fans etc


I feel you are likely right! And it's so easy to find places to indulge in a specific kink too.

And as MrOverstuffed noted (paraphrasing here), it's not appropriate to assume just because someone is on this site, it's okay to jump to sexual conversation. Some people really are here just for community, myself included.
1 year

Exhausting

BigBallBellyGirl:
Thanks in advance for letting me get something off my chest. I just wanted to make the point that, this community is more than a dating hub, and this isn't OnlyFans.

Some people come here hoping to make a romantic connection. I hope you do, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Some people come here hoping to share what they look like, showcase content, and build a following. I wish you every bit of success, and I hope the way you choose to use this site helps you reach your goals.

That said, that's not all of us. Some of us are here because society has made it so taboo to actually enjoy our bigger bodies and have fun with gluttony, we can't talk about this major part of our lives with 90 percent of the people we know. Sure, they know we're fat. I'm nearly 470 pounds. It's obvious I like to eat. But that's very different that being able to share the joy I feel when I gain 10 pounds or consume 20,000 calories.

There are a lot of people here who respect the ways in which different people use this site, including those who use it more privately. But there are also others who are outraged that I don't want a feeder (I have a partner), I don't want anyone to send me money or food, and I'm not a content creator. I'm very specific about this in my profile, yet just about every day, I get angry messages from mostly men, demanding, "Show yourself" or "Your posts do nothing to turn me on. I need pictures." No. No you don't. You don't need pictures from me or anyone else of any gender on this site. There are plenty of platforms on which to find those and plenty of other people to follow. No one is entitled to anything from anyone else.

I'll add a caveat of that if, someone with no personal photos is demanding money, it's only natural to want some proof you're not being scammed. That's entirely different, and in that case, people have a right to protect themselves from con artists. People don't have a right, however, to make angry demands of someone who has never initiated contact with them and asks nothing of them.

People have a lot of reasons for not posting images. In my case, I have a partner, and he meets my needs in every way. I don't need to get anything anywhere else, including compliments or gratification. Furthermore, I used to have a very public online presence, and I had pictures stolen twice. I had to go through a huge hassle to get a fake profile taken down from another site. And to this day, there is still an amateur weight gain progress video out there using my images. That's a violation. And it feels very unsafe.

I guess I said this to say, there are lots of comments about how women especially create profiles and then disappear. I can't speak for everyone, but I do know that an aggressive follower can certainly be a trigger. Sure, we can report folks, and there is a block function. But more than that, we can respect each other and keep our entitlement in check. It's not really a lot to ask. And thanks to all the awesome people on the site who already understand that!


Really, really well put. I agree with everything that you say.

I’ll make a somewhat broader point.

The online culture around fat kinks and fat sexuality is increasingly being moored around content creators, particularly well-known, paid creators. Creators as a result are increasingly defining fat sexuality for the online culture.

While I have nothing against creators themselves, I do have a problem with the effect - the expectation that anyone who is fat and online is there to gratify, the expectation that the community exists more or less as a bank to fund “feeding”, the expectation that, once gratification has occurred, you just drop the fat person and move on.
1 year

Exhausting

BigBallBellyGirl:
Thanks in advance for letting me get something off my chest. I just wanted to make the point that, this community is more than a dating hub, and this isn't OnlyFans.

Some people come here hoping to make a romantic connection. I hope you do, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Some people come here hoping to share what they look like, showcase content, and build a following. I wish you every bit of success, and I hope the way you choose to use this site helps you reach your goals.

That said, that's not all of us. Some of us are here because society has made it so taboo to actually enjoy our bigger bodies and have fun with gluttony, we can't talk about this major part of our lives with 90 percent of the people we know. Sure, they know we're fat. I'm nearly 470 pounds. It's obvious I like to eat. But that's very different that being able to share the joy I feel when I gain 10 pounds or consume 20,000 calories.

There are a lot of people here who respect the ways in which different people use this site, including those who use it more privately. But there are also others who are outraged that I don't want a feeder (I have a partner), I don't want anyone to send me money or food, and I'm not a content creator. I'm very specific about this in my profile, yet just about every day, I get angry messages from mostly men, demanding, "Show yourself" or "Your posts do nothing to turn me on. I need pictures." No. No you don't. You don't need pictures from me or anyone else of any gender on this site. There are plenty of platforms on which to find those and plenty of other people to follow. No one is entitled to anything from anyone else.

I'll add a caveat of that if, someone with no personal photos is demanding money, it's only natural to want some proof you're not being scammed. That's entirely different, and in that case, people have a right to protect themselves from con artists. People don't have a right, however, to make angry demands of someone who has never initiated contact with them and asks nothing of them.

People have a lot of reasons for not posting images. In my case, I have a partner, and he meets my needs in every way. I don't need to get anything anywhere else, including compliments or gratification. Furthermore, I used to have a very public online presence, and I had pictures stolen twice. I had to go through a huge hassle to get a fake profile taken down from another site. And to this day, there is still an amateur weight gain progress video out there using my images. That's a violation. And it feels very unsafe.

I guess I said this to say, there are lots of comments about how women especially create profiles and then disappear. I can't speak for everyone, but I do know that an aggressive follower can certainly be a trigger. Sure, we can report folks, and there is a block function. But more than that, we can respect each other and keep our entitlement in check. It's not really a lot to ask. And thanks to all the awesome people on the site who already understand that!

FAMGM:
Really, really well put. I agree with everything that you say.

I’ll make a somewhat broader point.

The online culture around fat kinks and fat sexuality is increasingly being moored around content creators, particularly well-known, paid creators. Creators as a result are increasingly defining fat sexuality for the online culture.

While I have nothing against creators themselves, I do have a problem with the effect - the expectation that anyone who is fat and online is there to gratify, the expectation that the community exists more or less as a bank to fund “feeding”, the expectation that, once gratification has occurred, you just drop the fat person and move on.


You could not have expressed this better. I also have no problem with creators. I support entrepreneurship, and I support people who feel empowered, financially and otherwise, by making content.

But a human-- fat, thin, conventionally attractive-- is worth more than just content. And demanding visuals of a person who is fat, because you find big bodies attractive, is no different than deeming a woman who has a large bust and tiny waist useless if she won't put her shape on display.
1 year

Exhausting

BigGator:
Absolutely. One of the first private chats I've had on here was someone basically saying "hi" and then RPing feeding me, then asking if I was "submissive." When I said I wasn't interested in any of that, they asked me why I was even here and then stopped talking (lmao)

Literally in my profile I say I'm married and I'm here for advice and stories. If that's too hard to read that much in someone's profile, don't DM them.

Honestly, I get really creepy, invasive questions about my body enough. I probably won't be doing DMs from randos anymore which is too bad since I *just* got here. Kind of not the best culture tbh


Precisely. I'm sorry you didn't have a welcoming experience, and those who have said the culture in this community has shifted are right. I can tell you, despite the negatives, there truly are some good people here who respect others. I would have also say this is the least toxic of the major sites. If you can look past some of the unpleasant interactions, I hope you'll find the friendship, conversations, advice, and creativity you are looking for.
1 year

Exhausting

BigGator:
Absolutely. One of the first private chats I've had on here was someone basically saying "hi" and then RPing feeding me, then asking if I was "submissive." When I said I wasn't interested in any of that, they asked me why I was even here and then stopped talking (lmao)

Literally in my profile I say I'm married and I'm here for advice and stories. If that's too hard to read that much in someone's profile, don't DM them.

Honestly, I get really creepy, invasive questions about my body enough. I probably won't be doing DMs from randos anymore which is too bad since I *just* got here. Kind of not the best culture tbh


Precisely. I'm sorry you didn't have a welcoming experience, and those who have said the culture in this community has shifted-- are right. I can tell you, despite the negatives, there truly are some good people here who respect others. I would also say this is the least toxic of the major sites. If you can look past some of the unpleasant interactions, I hope you'll find the friendship, conversations, advice, and the creative outlook you are looking for.
1 year

Exhausting

BigBallBellyGirl:
Thanks in advance for letting me get something off my chest. I just wanted to make the point that, this community is more than a dating hub, and this isn't OnlyFans.

Some people come here hoping to make a romantic connection. I hope you do, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Some people come here hoping to share what they look like, showcase content, and build a following. I wish you every bit of success, and I hope the way you choose to use this site helps you reach your goals.

That said, that's not all of us. Some of us are here because society has made it so taboo to actually enjoy our bigger bodies and have fun with gluttony, we can't talk about this major part of our lives with 90 percent of the people we know. Sure, they know we're fat. I'm nearly 470 pounds. It's obvious I like to eat. But that's very different that being able to share the joy I feel when I gain 10 pounds or consume 20,000 calories.

There are a lot of people here who respect the ways in which different people use this site, including those who use it more privately. But there are also others who are outraged that I don't want a feeder (I have a partner), I don't want anyone to send me money or food, and I'm not a content creator. I'm very specific about this in my profile, yet just about every day, I get angry messages from mostly men, demanding, "Show yourself" or "Your posts do nothing to turn me on. I need pictures." No. No you don't. You don't need pictures from me or anyone else of any gender on this site. There are plenty of platforms on which to find those and plenty of other people to follow. No one is entitled to anything from anyone else.

I'll add a caveat of that if, someone with no personal photos is demanding money, it's only natural to want some proof you're not being scammed. That's entirely different, and in that case, people have a right to protect themselves from con artists. People don't have a right, however, to make angry demands of someone who has never initiated contact with them and asks nothing of them.

People have a lot of reasons for not posting images. In my case, I have a partner, and he meets my needs in every way. I don't need to get anything anywhere else, including compliments or gratification. Furthermore, I used to have a very public online presence, and I had pictures stolen twice. I had to go through a huge hassle to get a fake profile taken down from another site. And to this day, there is still an amateur weight gain progress video out there using my images. That's a violation. And it feels very unsafe.

I guess I said this to say, there are lots of comments about how women especially create profiles and then disappear. I can't speak for everyone, but I do know that an aggressive follower can certainly be a trigger. Sure, we can report folks, and there is a block function. But more than that, we can respect each other and keep our entitlement in check. It's not really a lot to ask. And thanks to all the awesome people on the site who already understand that!



It seems to be all too common regardless of which site it is related to and feeder type of content. I'm sorry you have to go through so many hoops just to avoid harassment from so many feeder hungry guys. Even from the other sites I've gone to the dms I've received have always been so extremely straight forward without any sort of introduction and just getting straight to the point like, "Here to fatten you up fat cow," or something along those lines.

I'd say you put it very well said, this is a message I believe most of it not all of the members of this specific community should look to and keep in mind. The one rule I follow when it comes to interactions online is that no matter the context, please try to treat the other person as if it were any other kind of relationship or friendship, as you would with many other people IRL. A lot of people here aren't looking for hardcore fulfillment of specific fantasies and are truly looking to form a meaningful connection.

In the end, for anyone reading this, try your best to give the best amount of respect you can in your interactions. Don't step over the boundaries they might create and overall just be a kind person.

Again, very well said
1 year

Exhausting

MessyEater:
I feel like the online community has changed a lot since FF began and perhaps the site needs to be more specific about what it is and perhaps even have a code of conduct.


every single site with membership on the planet has a TOS (essentially code of conduct, some are smart enough to label them clearly) and it doesn't mean anything at the end of the day when owners prioritize revenue over safety.

I'm not exaggerating when I say one day someone will be unalived because of the behavior that is *encouraged* by these sites collectively. Not one more than another another, they are all different and yet the result will be the same.

It's a systemic issue that starts from the outside in. It's patriarchy, misogyny, fatphobia, ableism, racism, etc., that people can and will gleefully engage in to get whatever they want, regardless of who it harms, and especially if they can do so without consequence (eg harassing, objectifying, impersonating, and profiting off of fat people).

that is to say, people gotta work on this stuff and handle it whenver they see it in real life outside of here and places like this.
1 year