General

So the fat acceptance movement has talked about us and called us oppressors of fat people. They said this because they think that fetishizing someone’s weight is a form of oppression and that we are attracted to fat because we like to harm and oppress fat people. They also see someone intentionally gaining for sexual arousal similar to black face. I hate that they actively condemn us this way.

The majority of us do want fat right and acceptance. And the majority of us only partake in our fetish if given consent and do not subject other outside to it. Most of us don’t harass random fat people and know boundaries when dating a fat person. I don’t understand why they hate us so much and say that our sexuality is wrong. We can’t help being attracted to feederism. So why should we be told we are so hateful for it when we only do it with consenting partners/ourselves. To me it’s the same logic as telling a gay person that they hate women because they are not attracted to them. They are almost always lgbtq+ rights activists so why are they going back on their morals. WE CANT CHANGE! AND WE DONT WANT TO OPRESS FAT PEOPLE! WE WERE JUST BORN LIKE THIS!

It's frustrating, but I understand why. There's a lot of feedists out there that are predatory. You hear a lot of horror stories, and I've witnessed feeders sabotaging their SOs to satisfy their fetish. They don't love the person so much as they love their fat.


Also, being fat carries health risks. So even if they are fat and proud of it, they also view themselves as unhealthy. So seeing people get fat or fattening someone up is seen as people risking lives for the sake of the fetish.

It’s a tough thought about it. But I can understand the frustration out of your post. And as an FA it can be stressful to hear and see such things. When stuff like fat acceptance and/or body positivity is in questioned right now.

Keep in mind the Feederism is one of those fetishes that is VERY taboo outside of our community and into the rest of the world. Sometimes even other plus size communities have Feederism frowned upon.

From my experience when we have the two worlds of both acceptance AND a fetish linked together, it is kinda a bad look for things in a larger space. Especially towards others who are on the more conservative spectrum are against extreme sexuality.

But hey that’s my take on it.

I can totally live without Feederism in my life. As long as I’m with a community that appreciates my body no matter how much my weight fluctuates, I’m content with that. 👍

There is a lot of fatphobia in this community too. Even OP has admitted to such in another post. So it's not fair to say we are body positive as a whole. Also, a lot of feedists talk about fat people in dehumanizing ways - especially those deemed too fat or too small.

Yeah I could see that too. I’ve never thought that (most) feedists are part of body positive to begin with.

I can understand the contrast between celebrating "being" versus celebrating "becoming".

I've always thought that Fat Positivity was about accepting fatness as a beautiful state of being - that someone can be fat and attractive, which stands in contrast to the incorrect social bias that fat is unwanted, unattractive, or unsexy. I LOVE the body positivity movement, because I truly believe that fat is sexy as hell, and that a person should not be judged, discriminated against, or made to feel "less than" just because of their size. It should be about the notion that you ARE beautiful right now in your fat body, and that you do not need conform to someone else's idea of the "preferred size".

I see feederism a little differently, in that I also celebrate the sexiness of transformation - that a person can be sexy in a different way when they are in the process of getting FATTER. It needs to be consensual, and it needs to be not about the demand of the feeder but about the journey of the feedee making an intentional choice to alter themselves because THEY like it (not because someone else wants it for them).

I don't see these two as exclusive or incompatible, though. I believe that you can find someone sexy both as fat AND as getting fatter.

But - to earlier points made - if someone defines feederism as a sexual expression of control/power and that it objectifies a feedee rather than celebrates an empowered and intentional choice, then yes - I can see why our community would be viewed negatively.

It becomes our obligation to empower our feedees and make the feederism community about empowering someone to choose to become fatter because they desire it, not because they have to "get fatter for us".

This was a bit more wordy than I originally intended - hope it makes sense!

I think that is was well said! Though I think that body positivity is far more than just for plus size people. It can also be for people of conditions, and other disabilities!

Once again, this is an issue stemming from the miscategorisation of things as a fetish or a kink.

If you accept that there is such a thing as a sexuality relating to fatness, then it is very hard to condemn.

Personally, I find the idea of celebrating fatness but ignoring fat sexuality extremely artificial and offensive.

Gotta remember that fat sexuality doesn't necessarily include fat fetishism.