Dating/Friendships

Whether you’re a feeder/feedee, did you find someone who was already into this? Or had you introduced someone into the fetish?
I’m trying to gauge whether I should commit to one or the other 😅

That's a good question. I've been fat my whole life, and I remember wanting to be much fatter as young as about five or six. By the time I was in high school, I was 300 pounds, and I only had one boyfriend during those four years. I knew I didn't intend to lose weight, so I knew I'd need someone who liked big girls, and I knew those people existed. I dated a bit more in college, and by then, I was in this community, but I didn't know how to transition from online fantasy to real-life feedism. After college, I had two feeders I met via the websites, but both of those relationships tended to be more about the feedism than a deep personal connection. In other words, they were fine for some fun, but there was never a basis for a lasting relationship. With my partner, the relationship comes first, and fat is something we both think is fun and sexy. I have much more experience in feedism than he does, but he was more than willing to lean into it. At the end of the day though, the feedism comes second.

Feeder here. I've had some dedicated feedees in the past in addition to regular playmates. I've always approached things without any expectation for more. About two years ago, I was in chat looking for some fun. I got a message from this nice dude that had similar kinks, so we had an online stuffing session.

Things went so well that he hit me up the next day. We got to talking about feedism and life, and had a great time. So great that we started talking every single day. Shortly after, he became my feedee.

The plan was just to have some fun, but when you talk every single day, you end up focusing on more than just kinks. And the more we talked, the more we realized how well we clicked. After a few months, we went from just playmates to friends and then to partners.

We'll always be kinksters, but our relationship with kink evolved overtime. It went from being the focus to more like a seasoning. This isn't a bad thing because our relationship would have been short-lived if it didn't.

This past January, my partner said to me he wanted to stop gaining and focus on being healthy. If kink was still the focus of our relationship, things wouldn't have lasted long. But since we love and respect each other so much, it wasn't a big deal.

We found ways to indulge in our kinks, but at this point we are more like your average couple. We even enjoy vanilla stuff because sometimes we are too attracted to each other to focus on kinks.

If you want to have a relationship with a feedist, more power to you. It's great being with someone you're sexually compatible with. However, if you want to make things last, remember you're partners first and kinksters second.