Feeder wife or else??

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
So quite new to this forum, my recent doubts require probably the “competent” expertise and independent judgment of you people.

I started to suspect that my wife has hidden feeder tendencies or she is probably one, this enlightenment came way too late considering my weight gain of approximately 50kg in only a few years, since we got married. So question how i can understand if she is a feeder or was all only incidental?

Have you tried talking to her? Sure, she might be a secret feeder, but it's far more likely that her love language is food.

Just talk to her. It's more useful than asking internet strangers.

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
Thanks for your reply Munchies,

I have a very open diailago with her, however few elements hold be to openly forcing the topic to a clear answer, It's not an “easy” topic especially as you said, “if” it might be a chance that she simply loves food languages. Then I tried a few times lightly to face the topic and she skipped and changed the topic immediately… I'm fully aware that strangers can not give me an answer, but maybe there is a common path that help me to untie this knot. However, whatever, will be the outcome will not change my feelings and to be honest I have learned to love these “new things” ..

Every few months or so, someone makes a post asking if their partner is a secret feedist. And every time, the community's general answer is, "Talk to them."

Why? Because a lot of feedist behaviors can also be non-feedist behaviors. And if they are feedist behaviors, you'll never know until you talk to them.

If you are wondering how to talk to them, one of the community members, LoraDayton, has made a helpful blog post on how to do so.

loradayton.com/2022/01/26/how-to-have-the-kink-talk-with-your-partner/

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
I do care about her feelings very much and the last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable, embarrassed or ashamed of whatever her preferences or mindset and yes, I don’t mind how these preferences will affect my weight,
I haven’t to please anyone other than her, and to be honest the thought that she like or she might have this “preferences or whatever you want to call”, is the only thing that made me accept, and even smile at times, to all the silly stupid gross comments from relatives and friends on my weight.. that would otherwise have made me “uncomfortable”.

About her preferences, she likes me big, she is my wife, she loves me she will never do anything different than for love I'm at my actual size thanks mostly to her “extra attention on my diet…. that’s where all my thoughts on this topic are coming from; about my body, she usually minimizes when I say that I gained and when I share my clothing size problems, she is always caring providing or supporting in shopping together on the other side.

My question is how did you even come to the conclusion she's a closeted feeder? Everything you are describing sounds like normal wife stuff

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

ForeverFFA:
If she has openly said that she loves your size (which is different than loving you at your size), then she has already basically admitted to being an fa.

Can I ask why you are worried it would offend her to gently ask her if she thinks she might be a feeder?

I see why you might think that and disagree with Munchies (slightly) just because most wives don't manage to put 50 extra kilos on their husbands within a few short years of marriage.

You're right. The average person won't gain 50 kilos (110 lbs) within a few years of marriage. But to gain 50 kilos in a few years requires a whole lot more that being regularly overfed. And since he didn't give his full life story, I can't say how much of his gain she's contributed to.

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
I have no conclusions so far, and for that, I'm here.

considering that I have spent every day of the last 3 years, happily and deeply in love with her, I don't need to be “ Mr Gibson of criminal mind profiling”, I think I'm able to detect any slowly and slight behavioural changes in her, the same changes which made me suppose that she might have some kind of feeling towards my gain.

what is about this change and what forms, Well, I Still, don't know..

I don't like “the list” because you can't paint everyone with the same brush on the ground of the list or define someone.

However, if a list is required, I can summarize a few of those that caught my attention like exceedingly denying the evidence of my weight gain, increasingly ordering for me more and more food when I'm at work by delivery, even when I ask for for a smaller order; ordering food that she doesn't like and then offering me the food in question that supposedly she dislikes; a sort of hidden disappointment when I don't eat (nothing evident only slightly perceivable since I well know her), and kind of new recent things that she does in our intimacy all that associated with her slightly recent weight loss.

I can see why you think she's a feeder. However, if you want to confirm it, it's best to ask her.

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
To foreverFFA and Munchies
Yes, I am worried to ask ..

about 50 extra kgs in 2 years and about what you two just said, now I’m a bit worried .. I thought that was quite natural for a couple gain weight when are settled together even if I was conscious that 25 per year was just quite over the normal fluctuations..

To munchies
Why you say “I can see why you think she's a feeder”

As a female feeder myself, I've seen other feeders do these things. However, as someone from a culture where food is a valid love language, I cannot say for certain that this is what is it. You yourself mentioned that there may be a non-fetish reason for her acting like this.

You put on 50 kg in a few years. That can't be all her doing. I put about 50 kg on my partner, but he was a willing and active participant in all of this. He kept himself stuffed pretty much all day and I had to force him to eat healthier and exercise.

So it's entirely possible that she feeds you because she knows you like it but doesn't want you to feel bad about it.

That said, what are you worried about?

That said,

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
I know that you all expect that I want to hear as an answer that she is a feeder.

but honestly “nop” my hope was for a love language of food or over-caring … now I m not worried but…

No, I want you to have a conversation with you wife about your concerns. I do not care one way or another if she's a feeder or not. I'm not the one married to her.

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Letters And Numbers

Joined 1 year

administrator

Swiss Gainer:
If she is one fa feeder or whatever you name.. and i m not yet convicted..
why she never say to me..?

You’re acting like anyone here somehow knows your wife better than you do. Honestly, the whole thing sounds like a bad larp.

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
Why does anyone give statements on a single quote..and have to be so rude .. at least read all the history …
no one knows her better than me … and no one loves her more than me .. and the opposite… again I'm not looking for couple therapy.. just to understand the tools to use to face a very peculiar topic that put me in a stall.

No one is being rude. We are being blunt.

We can pontificate until the cows come home. But everything we say is a stab in the dark based on whatever information you give us.

Literally the only way to know for certain is to ask.

If you want advice on how to go about doing this or understanding how feedism works, that's perfectly fine. But no one in the entire universe can tell you if your wife is a feeder or not except for your wife.

Talk to her. You are working yourself up over something you don't need to work yourself up about. Maybe she's a feeder. Maybe she isn't. You'll never know until you ask.

What are you afraid of? That she'll end up being a feeder and ask you to get fatter? Or are you afraid that she isn't and you've let your weight get out of hand? Or is it a secret third thing?

11 months

Feeder wife or else??

Munchies

Joined 3 years

Swiss Gainer:
You are blunt and polite and I appreciate this..
And yes, probably as a work as habits I want to be as much informed as I can before to face any topic.. Especially with involved people I love.

So yes You got it right, if she is a feeder I want and I suppose I have the right to understand everything even before asking or opening this topic with her.

I'm not afraid that my weight get out of hand, I can anytime back to the gym and work out, (activities that unfortunately I stopped), And probability yes, I'm more afraid that end up as a feeder, but simply because I don't know and I'm not familiar with the concept, and what you don't know make you afraid..i suppose…

Okay. What's the worst case scenario?

11 months

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