BigBallBellyGirl:
I've been planning to keep my weight in this general neighborhood, but I fell off the maintenance wagon hard last night at all you can eat sushi, and I have been eating ever since. Last night, I had 56 pieces with tempura vegetables and tempura shrimp. I woke up very bloated and also very hungry, and I have been eating since. It's so hard, when you were addicted to being overstuffed beyond your limits for a long time, to go back to regular meals. There was something so pleasurable about being packed like a drum, with my belly feeling bloated and sensitive, I haven't been able to stop myself. I've had around 14,000 calories so far today, and i know I'll gain some weight from this, but I'm going to give myself a day off from maintenance and get as stuffed as I want to. I've genuinely missed the feeling of physically ballooning outward from over indulgence. And tomorrow is another day!
Munchies:
The thing to remember is when you decide to maintain, you're not looking for perfection. You'll have days when you fall back into old habits.
And that's not the end of the world. It's completely unreasonable to expect anyone to do "all the right things".
You're right. Tomorrow is another day. Just because you had a period of time falling off the wagon doesn't mean you've doomed yourself from achieving what you want to achieve. Progress isn't a linear path. But so long as you're generally moving in the direction you want to go, you'll be fine.
We as a community glorify the gains. I think it's just as important to talk about the other aspects of the journey as well. Maintaining, weight loss, and changing body comp are also parts of the gaining experience. But since they aren't as sexy as getting fat, we don't talk about it.
And that's a shame. It's not like you can meet your needs in traditional weight management circles. They won't understand why someone wants to cap their gains at 500 or only drop from 400 to 250. I think that our community needs to engage with the practical side of things more. It's not as flashy as a never ending gain, but it's sexy in its own way.
Agreed. Somewhere outside of the fantasy of endless, hard core gaining is a reality where most of us live. I consumed well over 22,000 calories Tuesday, and those into hard-core gaining would consider that "hot". So do I. I am turned on by the internal sensation of fullness, the swelling/bloating, and stepping on the scale to see the numbers climb. Realistically though, I know where doing that every day leads, because I did it for months at a time. I put on 200 pounds in 13 months. And there's not a world in which that could continue without completely losing independence and mobility. I don't want to get married in December from my bed or give up our honeymoon (which will already present special considerations). It doesn't mean I'm rebelling against this community by not wanting to blow up endlessly. It means that my "fat reality" is now how to keep the weight on but not get much bigger, how to stay active enough that I take some pressure off my knees and back, and what accommodations are necessary for an ambulatory supersized life. I can't talk about that with people outside this community, because honestly, I don't know any other 500 lb people in real life. My fiance has done his own research and built his own knowledge because we have a partnership, but he's 180 lb. This isn't his personal physical reality. And even though my doctor is not fat phobic or dismissive of symptoms, she will point to my size and eating habits as the causes of my blood pressure going up, shortness of breath, and knee issues, because, well, they are. I knew that when I was stuffing myself to oblivion, gaining 10 lb a week. So yes, I appreciate those who recognize maintaining is a part of the conversation, and a part of fat life, too!
