I don't know that I have anything worthwhile to say, and I don't know if you'll ever read this. But here goes.
I've seen the pics in your feabie, you aren't unattractive at all, you're extremely cute. I didn't myself say anything - like ask you out or anything - primarily because of your stated desire in the profile (which others quoted), for someone to feed and take care of you, isn't something I can do, both in my personality at this time in my life (distracted, lost in my own head, or on my own tasks), nor possible when I'm planning to leave the area and be back on the road in half a year. And I probably wouldn't be someone you would 'connect with' anyway, so maybe I'm irrelevant as an example.
However, I know some people are particularly into that sort of thing - aspects of being fed and taken care of, having a life of ease, or hedonism, or gluttony, or combinations of such things. And there are indeed people for them, who get off on being the caretaker or provider or long-term feeder - there was a prior time in my life when I was somewhat more among them. And that's just how I had interpreted it.
My hesitation illustrates: there are reasons people don't reach out, points of obvious incompatibility. It's one of the purposes of profiles: to vet people and be vetted in turn. What you had was geared toward the interest of a particular type of person, representing only a moderate to small subset of people here, and it did so for a limited amount of time - apparently 6 months.
But when I read this rant, it completely changes the interpretation.
It's kind of hateful and, like, weirdly entitled, in a non-introspective way.
It directly admits to an attempt to abuse our sexualities to get what you want out of someone - either anyone, or someone specific but undetermined - and, moreover, almost directly states a sense of entitlement to just receive it. If this entitlement were shown in person, it would be a big red flag to most.
Then, having failed to manipulate anyone into that now-admitted trap, you're disparaging any and all of the very people you were trying to manipulate, in order to make yourself, and your frustration, feel validated - frustration at not suddenly receiving, in a mere half year, something some people spend their entire lifetime seeking, and which many never find. If a hint of that penchant for malice for personal validation were to be shown in person, that, too, would be a major red flag; not only is it toxic in a relationship, but makes for some truly terrible and destructive exes.
I myself have been a jerk, back in my day. Harmful things done, harmful things said, for self-validation. Later - sometimes long later - I realized some of it, and tried to make amends. One of the reasons, is rethinking things with the experience of the years since - and if one can acknowledge that they did wrong, true remorse gives leads to true reconciliation, which is ointment that allows wounds to become scars - e.g. someone I alienated a decade ago is legitimately one of my best friends again.
When we're young, we haven't yet had all the time yet to think in all the ways we will eventually think, or all the opportunities to play through all possible ways of being. This is the very purpose of 'play' in the psychological sense: a person, child or adult, takes on different roles, testing out different ways of being, and solidifies their personality from those they find suitable. It's not a perfect process, it's kind of like plinko, but it happens throughout life, you can keep playing.
In that light, I recommend taking this time to step back, and re-evaluate how you think of these things, and how you react, and to try to solidify different ways of being.
Get rid of the entitlement; neither the world, nor anyone in it, is beholden to give you what you immediately desire, and the very concept of 'deserve' let alone entitlement is a mere social construct without basis in reality. Come at it more calmly, and cultivate a self and a life that someone would feel worthwhile to share, and you will have a much better - and more honest - 'trap'.
Get rid of the malice; the world is not beholden to you, and if you react with backlash - like the rant above - when things don't go how you feel they should, you do immense harm. Now, for example, who reading that rant would want to give you a go? You've alienated most of us, and showing some bad true colors in the process, after not finding what you want within 6 months.
Step back and think about what you're actually looking for in a relationship. If it's 'connection', fully define what that would actually mean and feel to you - not as the vague term everyone throws around in a 250 character tinder blurb. And then live your life - cultivate yourself - to give it. It is possible that someone is looking for the same. If you've both internally defined it, to such an extent that you give it, you'll recognize it. As, if they did the same, will th
6 months