General

Helo. How are you looking at disabled people who are fat. Like they are on wheelchairs or they dont have noticable health issues from outside.

I have no attraction to the disability in itself, but I’ve had two relationships with disabled people.

I think that this is because an attractive person who *happens* to be disabled often has a more fully developed personality.

They’ve had to look inwardly, to regard themselves, the limits of their bodies, sometimes mortality, and to press forward regardless.

It sounds very gently and healthy ^^

I'm not attracted to disability or health issues, but if by chance a potential partner had a physical handicap I wouldn't say "no" to giving a date a try.

This is a weird question. Disabled people are people. They are just as worthy of love as anyone else. And anyone can become disabled at any time for any reason.

I'm not fat, but I have invisible disabilities. My partner doesn't think any less of me for having them. For example, last week I got severely overstimulated at work and ended up rocking and sobbing on the floor. It was bad. He got me off the floor (He said, "The floor is for feet, not my princess." and stayed with me for the rest of the day to make sure I was okay.

I was so embarrassed. I hadn't had a meltdown in years, and I had some internalized ableism about it. My partner just shrugged and said, "It's just another thing to love about you."

It was a healing moment for me, and I think this is how we should treat any disability. People are not their disabilities, but we shouldn't ignore their needs either. It's simply another thing to love about them that makes them who they are.

That's a wonderful thing to say!

On that note, the same needs to be said about fat people. I'm not saying that being fat is inherently a disability, but a lot of people treat it like it is. This is extra true when it comes to the super-sized crowd because they are both objectified and demonized for their size. I supposed this is both sides of the fatphobia coin.

Except for extreme examples, a fat person's life isn't much different from a slimmer person's life. And yet there are a lot of feedists (especially FAs and feeders) who treat fat people as if they are disabled. In their minds, all a fat person is good for is getting fatter. If someone - especially a thinner person - shows interest in them, it's an act of charity.

And they should be grateful for however people choose to treat them.

Some feedees and gainers play into this because they've internalized this thinking. It's also why you see a lot of plus-sized people who are clearly not into the community try to infiltrate it looking for attention. Too many people see their size as who they are instead of an aspect of who they are.

So, for people who have the intersection of fatness and disability, it's dehumanizing to relegate them to exotic people you may or may not want to sleep with. They are not pets or charity cases. They are people who happen to be different but are still people all the same.

The same can be said of sex, race, sexuality, disability, etc.

Our society is far too obsessed with labeling people & too many people feed into it, myself included. We need to set a better standard!

Honestly the question itself feels kind of disgusting.

Disgusting how?

The question struck me more like the OP was gauging if a subject's disability combined with their obesity somehow enhanced their attractiveness.

I find female obesity attractive despite being well aware it typically doesn't coincide with optimal health.

Obesity is considered a disease which requires treatment by the medical community, therefore a fat admirer is looking positively on something the medical community sees as a problem.

For example, an acquaintance of mine gained well over 100 lbs during the pandemic. With a weight close to 400, she now lacks energy and developed sleep apnea, requiring a CPAP. Her lifestyle is very sedentary and I'd consider her partially disabled. This in no way makes me view her as any less attractive.