Since I was little. I can remember as a kid wondering how many candy bars I'd have to eat to get fat, or whether there were more calories in cookies or cookie dough. Maybe the diet culture of the time ended up putting contrary ideas into my head. A number of times in my adult life I've lost weight and gotten pretty fit, but at this point I'm finally over it and I'm finally beginning to feel happy yo be where I'm at. I know that somehow I'm not supposed to feel good being weak and heavy, and I can't really explain why that makes me feel so good, and so happy, except that it does. After years of resisting and trying out the alternative, I'm convinced that the fat version of myself is the better version.
8 months
