General

Do i give in?

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Munchies   United States
Joined 4 years
Turningintoabloatedpiggy:
So I've always what I would describe as a closet feedee. I've always been turned on by fat but I've always been skinny.
I'm 5ft 11 and always been around the 11 stone mark (UK size 10) and always been quite toned and skinny.
However I started a new job 6 months ago which is sat at a desk, I stopped exercising. Over time I've felt my clothes getting tighter, and I had a pair of size 12 trousers which used to be baggy. It was only when the button popped off that I realised how big my stomach was. I used to have a 35 inch waist and now it's 40 inches...I weighed myself and I am now 12 stone 7! So one and a half stone gained in 6 months!
I've noticed all my clothes are getting tighter but it's really turning me on. I love getting in my car after work and finally undoing my trousers and feeling me belly rest on my thighs...
I'm surprised how much it is turning me on!
Thing is my boyfriend only likes skinny girls - and I can no longer hide my growing belly! I've said I'd go to the gym but when I run on the treadmil I can feel my gut bouncing and my top rides up (used to be a loose top!) I can no longer suck it in!

I love my boyfriend but I love my growing belly more! So should I lose weight to keep him or should I just completely let go and continue to grow?


Don't ask internet strangers if you should get fat. That's ultimately up to you. That said, you might want to rethink your relationship with your boyfriend.

Does he really only like skinny girls? What would happen if your body changed? Would he still love you or would he resent you? Your body is going to change at some point - that's life. And, statistically speaking, you're not going to be the size you are forever - maybe not even in five years.

Can you see hin still wanting to be with you? Would he treat you with love and respect?

This also applies to feeders, by the way. If you decided to embrace your kink and live the feedee life, you'll come across many feeders who will only value you for how fat you are. And if you decide to maintain or even lose weight, the freak out.

Never be with anyone who primarily values you based on how you look.
2 years

Do i give in?

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Letters And Numbers   United States
Joined 3 years
I’m wondering if this is real or just larping
2 years

Do i give in?

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Munchies   United States
Joined 4 years
Letters And Numbers:
I’m wondering if this is real or just larping


Hard to say. But I see a lot of posts like this that I know for sure are real. Imo, there's no harm in assuming that it is. It's sadly common for non-feedist partners to dump their feedee/gainer partner once they get chubby or fat. Even if this person is LARPing, there will be others reading it that are going through this situation.
2 years

Do i give in?

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Delta9   United States
Joined 15 years
From another point of view:
A person's body can change a lot faster than their partner's preferences can keep up. Small changes are bound to happen slowly over time. That's just the process of aging and everyone knows that. If you're really in a long term, committed relationship then I think it's the responsibility of both partners to accept and account for this reality. No one stays young forever.
However, when you make the conscious decision to drastically change your body in a way you know won't be attractive to your partner, a person who you supposedly care about, I think it in some way violates the implied terms of the relationship. Nobody wants to sign up for one thing just to get the bait and switch later.
If I love my partner, don't I have some responsibility to at least try and maintain my body in a way that will be attractive to her? And of course there are any number of ways a person can change themselves, not just getting fatter or thinner. Drugs and alcohol are another way of destroying your body.
If you choose to put yourself and your own desires before your relationship and your partner, that's fine. It's not a wrong decision. But maybe you should talk to him first or simply end the relationship instead of leaving him stuck with someone he doesn't think is attractive anymore, forcing him to make the choice to leave or not.
2 years

Do i give in?

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Munchies   United States
Joined 4 years
Delta9:
From another point of view:
A person's body can change a lot faster than their partner's preferences can keep up. Small changes are bound to happen slowly over time. That's just the process of aging and everyone knows that. If you're really in a long term, committed relationship then I think it's the responsibility of both partners to accept and account for this reality. No one stays young forever.
However, when you make the conscious decision to drastically change your body in a way you know won't be attractive to your partner, a person who you supposedly care about, I think it in some way violates the implied terms of the relationship. Nobody wants to sign up for one thing just to get the bait and switch later.
If I love my partner, don't I have some responsibility to at least try and maintain my body in a way that will be attractive to her? And of course there are any number of ways a person can change themselves, not just getting fatter or thinner. Drugs and alcohol are another way of destroying your body.
If you choose to put yourself and your own desires before your relationship and your partner, that's fine. It's not a wrong decision. But maybe you should talk to him first or simply end the relationship instead of leaving him stuck with someone he doesn't think is attractive anymore, forcing him to make the choice to leave or not.


Not you likening weight gain to substance abuse.

That's not cute, sweetie.

Look, if someone gains or loses a lot of weight by choice, but those gain's aren't impacting your life significantly, then that person is shallow.

If you are in a relationship that's based on being active or you are neglecting your relationship in favor of getting fat, that's one thing. But if the only thing that's changing about your relationship in a number on the scale, then the person who wants to leave is a shallow piece of crap.
2 years

Do i give in?

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Letters And Numbers   United States
Joined 3 years
Delta9:
From another point of view:
A person's body can change a lot faster than their partner's preferences can keep up. Small changes are bound to happen slowly over time. That's just the process of aging and everyone knows that. If you're really in a long term, committed relationship then I think it's the responsibility of both partners to accept and account for this reality. No one stays young forever.
However, when you make the conscious decision to drastically change your body in a way you know won't be attractive to your partner, a person who you supposedly care about, I think it in some way violates the implied terms of the relationship. Nobody wants to sign up for one thing just to get the bait and switch later.
If I love my partner, don't I have some responsibility to at least try and maintain my body in a way that will be attractive to her? And of course there are any number of ways a person can change themselves, not just getting fatter or thinner. Drugs and alcohol are another way of destroying your body.
If you choose to put yourself and your own desires before your relationship and your partner, that's fine. It's not a wrong decision. But maybe you should talk to him first or simply end the relationship instead of leaving him stuck with someone he doesn't think is attractive anymore, forcing him to make the choice to leave or not.

Munchies:
Not you likening weight gain to substance abuse.

That's not cute, sweetie.

Look, if someone gains or loses a lot of weight by choice, but those gain's aren't impacting your life significantly, then that person is shallow.

If you are in a relationship that's based on being active or you are neglecting your relationship in favor of getting fat, that's one thing. But if the only thing that's changing about your relationship in a number on the scale, then the person who wants to leave is a shallow piece of crap.


Many relationships are very shallow, but also comfortable enough and fun, or at least something to do, or at least better than the idea of being alone. We don’t know anything about the OPs relationship, other than that they seem willing to get out of it in order to gain more weight.
2 years

Do i give in?

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Delta9   United States
Joined 15 years
Delta9:
From another point of view:
A person's body can change a lot faster than their partner's preferences can keep up. Small changes are bound to happen slowly over time. That's just the process of aging and everyone knows that. If you're really in a long term, committed relationship then I think it's the responsibility of both partners to accept and account for this reality. No one stays young forever.
However, when you make the conscious decision to drastically change your body in a way you know won't be attractive to your partner, a person who you supposedly care about, I think it in some way violates the implied terms of the relationship. Nobody wants to sign up for one thing just to get the bait and switch later.
If I love my partner, don't I have some responsibility to at least try and maintain my body in a way that will be attractive to her? And of course there are any number of ways a person can change themselves, not just getting fatter or thinner. Drugs and alcohol are another way of destroying your body.
If you choose to put yourself and your own desires before your relationship and your partner, that's fine. It's not a wrong decision. But maybe you should talk to him first or simply end the relationship instead of leaving him stuck with someone he doesn't think is attractive anymore, forcing him to make the choice to leave or not.

Munchies:
Not you likening weight gain to substance abuse.

That's not cute, sweetie.

Look, if someone gains or loses a lot of weight by choice, but those gain's aren't impacting your life significantly, then that person is shallow.

If you are in a relationship that's based on being active or you are neglecting your relationship in favor of getting fat, that's one thing. But if the only thing that's changing about your relationship in a number on the scale, then the person who wants to leave is a shallow piece of crap.


Yeah, I figured you would have something to say.
People have a right to do whatever they want with their own bodies. Including leave relationships they aren't happy in. To some people physical attraction is a big part of that. (Not making any moral statements about whether that's good or bad)
There may be any number of other reasons people are unhappy in relationships including a partner's or their own changing habits and lifestyle.
But I think that intentionally doing things you know will make your partner see you as unattractive is in some way disloyal to the relationship. Everyone has a different tolerance for what they're willing to accept. For some it may take something extreme like substance abuse, and for others maybe it's a number on a scale - shallow or not.
Also I think that sometimes when a person decides to let themselves go as we say, what they really mean is they are letting go of the pressure and responsibility to please their partner because they're giving up on the relationship in some way.
If OP really wants advice whether or not to gain, I'm sure the opinions coming from this particular site will be heavily skewed towards gaining! Seems to me more like looking for support on a position already chosen. I think OP is likely already dissatisfied with said relationship and that's why strongly considering "letting go".
Would you be with someone who couldn't love you if you got fatter??
2 years

Do i give in?

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BigBallBellyGirl   United States
Joined 3 years
Delta9:
From another point of view:
A person's body can change a lot faster than their partner's preferences can keep up. Small changes are bound to happen slowly over time. That's just the process of aging and everyone knows that. If you're really in a long term, committed relationship then I think it's the responsibility of both partners to accept and account for this reality. No one stays young forever.
However, when you make the conscious decision to drastically change your body in a way you know won't be attractive to your partner, a person who you supposedly care about, I think it in some way violates the implied terms of the relationship. Nobody wants to sign up for one thing just to get the bait and switch later.
If I love my partner, don't I have some responsibility to at least try and maintain my body in a way that will be attractive to her? And of course there are any number of ways a person can change themselves, not just getting fatter or thinner. Drugs and alcohol are another way of destroying your body.
If you choose to put yourself and your own desires before your relationship and your partner, that's fine. It's not a wrong decision. But maybe you should talk to him first or simply end the relationship instead of leaving him stuck with someone he doesn't think is attractive anymore, forcing him to make the choice to leave or not.

Munchies:
Not you likening weight gain to substance abuse.

That's not cute, sweetie.

Look, if someone gains or loses a lot of weight by choice, but those gain's aren't impacting your life significantly, then that person is shallow.

If you are in a relationship that's based on being active or you are neglecting your relationship in favor of getting fat, that's one thing. But if the only thing that's changing about your relationship in a number on the scale, then the person who wants to leave is a shallow piece of crap.


Oh, dang. Absolutely.

Look... my fiance likes me as an SSBBW, but when I gained 80 pounds in two months, I had some health symptoms that scared us both. We talked about all my options, including weight loss. I asked him how he would feel if I chose that route. His reply was, "It would be an adjustment, but I'd rather adjust than know you were unhappy, scared, or sick. I'm in this with you no matter what."

Likewise, a major turn on for him is stuffing me to extremes. We can't do that regularly though. I'd be bed-bound in no time. Even though we miss it, because we consider it a sexy aspect of our relationship, we have found other things we enjoy that don't bear the same consequences. I'm pretty thankful he finds different aspects of me attractive, not just my size.
2 years

Do i give in?

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Munchies   United States
Joined 4 years
Delta9:
From another point of view:
A person's body can change a lot faster than their partner's preferences can keep up. Small changes are bound to happen slowly over time. That's just the process of aging and everyone knows that. If you're really in a long term, committed relationship then I think it's the responsibility of both partners to accept and account for this reality. No one stays young forever.
However, when you make the conscious decision to drastically change your body in a way you know won't be attractive to your partner, a person who you supposedly care about, I think it in some way violates the implied terms of the relationship. Nobody wants to sign up for one thing just to get the bait and switch later.
If I love my partner, don't I have some responsibility to at least try and maintain my body in a way that will be attractive to her? And of course there are any number of ways a person can change themselves, not just getting fatter or thinner. Drugs and alcohol are another way of destroying your body.
If you choose to put yourself and your own desires before your relationship and your partner, that's fine. It's not a wrong decision. But maybe you should talk to him first or simply end the relationship instead of leaving him stuck with someone he doesn't think is attractive anymore, forcing him to make the choice to leave or not.

Munchies:
Not you likening weight gain to substance abuse.

That's not cute, sweetie.

Look, if someone gains or loses a lot of weight by choice, but those gain's aren't impacting your life significantly, then that person is shallow.

If you are in a relationship that's based on being active or you are neglecting your relationship in favor of getting fat, that's one thing. But if the only thing that's changing about your relationship in a number on the scale, then the person who wants to leave is a shallow piece of crap.

BigBallBellyGirl:
Oh, dang. Absolutely.

Look... my fiance likes me as an SSBBW, but when I gained 80 pounds in two months, I had some health symptoms that scared us both. We talked about all my options, including weight loss. I asked him how he would feel if I chose that route. His reply was, "It would be an adjustment, but I'd rather adjust than know you were unhappy, scared, or sick. I'm in this with you no matter what."

Likewise, a major turn on for him is stuffing me to extremes. We can't do that regularly though. I'd be bed-bound in no time. Even though we miss it, because we consider it a sexy aspect of our relationship, we have found other things we enjoy that don't bear the same consequences. I'm pretty thankful he finds different aspects of me attractive, not just my size.


Yup. Every time I call someone shallow for this, someone will always say "oh, but it's fine to be shallow in a relationship."

No it's not. And anyone who think it is has never been in a healthy, emotionally mature relationship.

There's nothing wrong with having a preference. Everyone has them. But if someone who claims to love you finds your weight gain (or loss) repulsive, then that person never loved you at all.
2 years

Do i give in?

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Munchies   United States
Joined 4 years

Munchies:
Not you likening weight gain to substance abuse.

That's not cute, sweetie.

Look, if someone gains or loses a lot of weight by choice, but those gain's aren't impacting your life significantly, then that person is shallow.

If you are in a relationship that's based on being active or you are neglecting your relationship in favor of getting fat, that's one thing. But if the only thing that's changing about your relationship in a number on the scale, then the person who wants to leave is a shallow piece of crap.

Delta9:
Yeah, I figured you would have something to say.
People have a right to do whatever they want with their own bodies. Including leave relationships they aren't happy in. To some people physical attraction is a big part of that. (Not making any moral statements about whether that's good or bad)
There may be any number of other reasons people are unhappy in relationships including a partner's or their own changing habits and lifestyle.
But I think that intentionally doing things you know will make your partner see you as unattractive is in some way disloyal to the relationship. Everyone has a different tolerance for what they're willing to accept. For some it may take something extreme like substance abuse, and for others maybe it's a number on a scale - shallow or not.
Also I think that sometimes when a person decides to let themselves go as we say, what they really mean is they are letting go of the pressure and responsibility to please their partner because they're giving up on the relationship in some way.
If OP really wants advice whether or not to gain, I'm sure the opinions coming from this particular site will be heavily skewed towards gaining! Seems to me more like looking for support on a position already chosen. I think OP is likely already dissatisfied with said relationship and that's why strongly considering "letting go".
Would you be with someone who couldn't love you if you got fatter??


My opinions have nothing to do with whether or not OP gains. I don't care if they do or don't. That's up to OP, and I make it a personal point to never recommend someone to gain or lose weight.

Once again, substance abuse and getting fat are not the same thing. They are not even close to the same thing. And it's disgusting you'd even compare them.

Have you ever seen substance abuse up close? It destroys everyone and everything around them. There's a lot of lying, cheating, and stealing. You watch the person you love's body disentigrate in front of you. It's bad. And in some cases, if you don't leave that people you will die.

Compare that to getting fat. Unless you become obsessed with wieght gain or are doing it in an irresponsible way, it effects no one. I can understand if the gains are majorly impacting lifestyle, but for the average person, getting fat is an aesthetic change.

Now, circling back to my original point, it appears that you and I agree on most parts of this. Where we disagree is the part about how it's your responsibility not to bait and switch your partner concerning intentional weight gain.

If you know you plan to be 500 lbs and lie to your partner so you can date, that's one thing. But if you are in a relationship, and discover you want to get fat, that's not a bait and switch. That's you discovering something about yourself.

If your partner isn't into or open to feedism, and you know it's something you need to be happy, then you are sexually incompatable. It sucks, but it happens. No one is necessarily at fault here.

However, if your partner doesn't want you to gain weight because "fatties are gross" then that partner is a fatphobic piece of trash who can go fall in a hole. If your value to someone is tied to a number on a scale, that person is trash. That person never loved you.

So whether or not OP decides to gain is besides the point. They know their partner wouldn't want them if they got fat. That's a partner that doesn't love them.
2 years
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