Fattening others

Actually not, I don't repeat myself. It looks like that to you because probably you think now it's absolutely the same as I was worried he will lose weigh many months ago when I wasn't sure he actually enjoyed gaining or liked being fatter. But the things were really different back then. Since then we figured some things out and he enjoyed his weight gain. I talked to him many times to make sure he likes it and not only doing it for me and every time he assured me he enjoyed it.

Another big difference I didn't mentioned: we discussed about this 2 days ago and I asked him if losing weight will make him happier. He told me "no, but I won't feel pain from that belt anymore" and I asked him why doesn't he undo it when he sits down like others do. He told me he doesn't want to be like that. So basically, now he wants to lose weight because his belly got in his way at work, not because he doesn't feel good with how he looks. In the past it was about not being confortable with being fatter and he also didn't trust me I liked him fatter. Now, when I asked him if he doesn't want to gain weight ever again, he actually told me "ofc I will gain weight again, I like that". He also told me he likes his belly.

Anyway, sorry to bother you with thos topic, but you can just not read it anymore. I also use it just to talk with different people some things which I don't feel confortable to talk to him from the beginning.

Thank you for your advices. They're great as always, but this time I did it my way because the truth is no one here can know our relationship as good as we do. Some of the people make me look like some toxic evil GF and (even you) suggested breaking up.

But just as I said before, every relationship has its own rules.
We usually discuss everything. It's not the best idea everytime. Sometimes maybe we would have been happier if we didn't know some things, but this is us. So hidding the reasons of my sadness isn't something I can actually do without making him upset.
If one of us is sad or doesn't look ok, we discuss it immediately or sometimes later, but later as in 1-2hrs later, not days.

Abou attraction and physical attraction. Since you answered to this topic from the beginning you peobably remember that I was with him before gaining weight. So ofc I have many reasons I am attracted to him. But I think it's normal that we are attracted of our parteners in one form more than in another. And I doubt I'm the only one experiencing this. Even when you get old, ofc you should love your partener the same and you shouldn't be less attracted to them. Buuuut I doubt it will be the same physical attraction. I think it will be the same level because you'll find many reasons to be attracted to, not physic related.

Anyway, we aren't old yet. So we (both) find it normal to be as attractive as we can for each other as we can and we like. So if he likes blonde hair and I don't like being blonde, I won't be blonde just for him (it's just an example, not the case happily, he likes my hair color). Buut he likes long hair and I had some moments I wanted to cut it short. He just told me he wouldn't like that. Also he told me if it makes me happy and I really want that, I should do it. It didn't "make me happy", it was just a thing I wanted for the moment so I didn't do it since he told me he won't like it. But those kind of things are normal for us because, again, we try to tell each other everything. We don't decide for each other and we support each other if something makes one of us happy, but we stil tell our opinions even when some of them hurts. (I hesitated to tell him what I thought this time not because it could hurt, but because I was afraid it will make him keep his weight for me and I wanted to let him figure out what he wants without influencing because this is not as superficial as having short or long hair, it was about his confort)

It's the same for him wanting to lose weight now. I knew he loves eating. I knew he told me many times he likes his belly and how he looks since he gained weight. I know he's happy with a full belly. So I couldn't believe losing weight will make him happy so I was sad about it. We discuss it after all and I was right, he is happier now, but he doesn't feel confortable at work so he will los

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Angy523:
Thank you for your advices. They're great as always, but this time I did it my way because the truth is no one here can know our relationship as good as we do. Some of the people make me look like some toxic evil GF and (even you) suggested breaking up.

But just as I said before, every relationship has its own rules.
We usually discuss everything. It's not the best idea everytime. Sometimes maybe we would have been happier if we didn't know some things, but this is us. So hidding the reasons of my sadness isn't something I can actually do without making him upset.
If one of us is sad or doesn't look ok, we discuss it immediately or sometimes later, but later as in 1-2hrs later, not days.

Abou attraction and physical attraction. Since you answered to this topic from the beginning you peobably remember that I was with him before gaining weight. So ofc I have many reasons I am attracted to him. But I think it's normal that we are attracted of our parteners in one form more than in another. And I doubt I'm the only one experiencing this. Even when you get old, ofc you should love your partener the same and you shouldn't be less attracted to them. Buuuut I doubt it will be the same physical attraction. I think it will be the same level because you'll find many reasons to be attracted to, not physic related.

Anyway, we aren't old yet. So we (both) find it normal to be as attractive as we can for each other as we can and we like. So if he likes blonde hair and I don't like being blonde, I won't be blonde just for him (it's just an example, not the case happily, he likes my hair color). Buut he likes long hair and I had some moments I wanted to cut it short. He just told me he wouldn't like that. Also he told me if it makes me happy and I really want that, I should do it. It didn't "make me happy", it was just a thing I wanted for the moment so I didn't do it since he told me he won't like it. But those kind of things are normal for us because, again, we try to tell each other everything. We don't decide for each other and we support each other if something makes one of us happy, but we stil tell our opinions even when some of them hurts. (I hesitated to tell him what I thought this time not because it could hurt, but because I was afraid it will make him keep his weight for me and I wanted to let him figure out what he wants without influencing because this is not as superficial as having short or long hair, it was about his confort)

It's the same for him wanting to lose weight now. I knew he loves eating. I knew he told me many times he likes his belly and how he looks since he gained weight. I know he's happy with a full belly. So I couldn't believe losing weight will make him happy so I was sad about it. We discuss it after all and I was right, he is happier now, but he doesn't feel confortable at work so he will los[/quote]

It sounds like you all communicate well and often. Good for you.

And you are right. No one else knows what it’s like inside your relationship like you do. We don’t know you. We need not judge you negatively.

Telling someone you are with for some time that you’re no longer attracted or are losing your physical attraction seems a sure fire way to end the relationship or at least create misery within it.

The most important things in a relationship are compatibility, communication and compassion.

If you enjoy each other's company can talk about problems and work through them, and want what's best for each other, you can make it work.

Do not worry about your boyfriend losing too much weight. The odds are very "slim" that he will succeed over the long term. Most probably he's going to get fatter. So you can be patient - time is on your side.

Thank you!

If he really wants to lose weight, I will help him. I know I seemed selfish, but it wasn't all about me. I don't want him to struggle dieting (he really loves to eat so it won't be easy for him) or to be hungry and unhappy.

He told me he doesn't want to lose much weight anyway. And I know he likes how he looks now (another reason which makes me sad about him losing weight). If I knew he's unhappy and he didn't like to eat so much, I wouldn't react like this.

Would like to know if there is any update about this thread :0

There is actually, but I stopped writing about this because some people felt too confortable to tell me we should break up every time they didn't like something I said.

But, if you enjoyed our story, I guess I can add some more:

- After he decided he wants to lose weight, he told me he will stop eating chips or other snacks and will eat less food. I just asked him to not starve himself, but I supported his decision. Anyway, just the next day he bought some snacks and ate them all (he ate more that day than he used to). I asked him about losing weight and he told me he'll start "tomorrow"

- The next day he went to work, but when he got back home, I saw he was actually eating less. It didn't last long until he told me it was a collegue's birthday and he stuffed himself with pizza and cake

- During those days he told me he'll lose weight later because one of our friends brought us many snacks and sweets from another country and he wanted to try them. Of course I reminded him there is no hurry and he can lose weight whenever he wants. He was happy to realise that

- After a while, all tha snacks were finished, but his weight loss journey didn't seem to start again. He was ordering fast food often, eating a bag of chips every day and enough food al the time. The only change he did was drinking zero sugar soda

- At some point I thought he actually gained weight, which also showed on the scale, but I couldn't know for sure since he weighted himself in the evening, not even close to an empty stomach

- After a month or two, we were talking about some of my friends who gained weight. Randomly, my bf told me he thinks he'll lose some weight next month because he's more active at work. I told him "babe, it's obvious you'll lose weight since you want to lose weight". That was the point when he told me he don't want it anymore. I asked him about the belt problem and he just said he lost enough weight so it doesn't hurt that much anymore. I didn't believe that...but I didn't know what to say

- Later, while talking to him at work on a video call (he was sitting), I saw when he stood up that his belt was undone while he was sitting. He fastened it when he was up. I asked him why it was undone and he said "you know I told you it hurts my belly when I sit". I told him I find it really hot that he undo his belt while sitting and he was happy to hear that.

- During sex he started to push his belly out when I can feel it and to put my hands on his belly if they're not there already. I used to put my hand there anyway, but when they weren't there, he never put them there before.

- We eat out at least once a week and every time he finishes my portion too. And the portions there aren't little. He is stuffed every time we leave that place. Once he actually asked me to not let him eat that much again. I joked and told him that if he needs more food, I can't stop him to eat. He said that was the problem, that he didn't need more food, but he pushed it too much.

Well, I guess I'll keep posting updates here. First of all because I know there are some people who are coming back to read and are still interested in this story. But alsk because I wrote here almost the entire story of his gaining and I'm sure I will enjoy reading it in the fluture.

For now I just wanted to say we started to go jogging "together"...meaning that he comes with me to the running track and watches me while I'm jogging. He keeps telling me that he'll start running too, but it didn't happened. Either he had a knee pain or a back pain or...no excuse, just didn't do it.

But, sometimes, when his best friend texts him to ask if he's at home, my bf always send him a pic with the running track and lets him believe he's running. This friend always answers with something like "oh, so you're losing weight, fatty" or "are you jogging again, fatboy?" or "you're going for a run, but ate like a pig at work"... Those comments always make me horny and I saw my bf isn't bothered at all, his actually laughing when he sees his friend's texts.

Also, there were many times when my bf told me he doesn't think he can run 5km anymore (he could run 20km 2 years ago). The last time he actually asked me if I think he is able to run 3km. Every time I encoraged him and told him I'm sure he can, but not as fast as he used to. But I can't help but wonder if he would enjoy some teasing related to this...or if he's actually asking for it

Sounds like he enjoys being teased.

New updates

1. He left for two weeks with work and didn't have much food there so he lost some weight. Anyway, before this he wanted to lose some weight, but now when I told him he lost some, he told me that he didn't...and when he checked the scale and saw I was right, he told me he'll gain all the weight back

2. When he cams back, his annoying mother told him "you didn't lost much weight there, I expected more" and his answe was "I didn't need to lose any". I was amazed, it's the first time he acts like he doesn't want lose weight at all.

3. We went to shopping, looking for a new suit for the next month when we'll go to a wedding. But every time I found something which was his size, but kinda tight...well, not tight...I mean it was exactly his size, not even an inch loose, he was asking me to bring him the next size because, let me quote "What happens when I gain weight?". I just loved it.