General

Stockylove:
Good luck. This is not a situation I would want to be in. But I don't think that will happen to me.

PurpleJade:
Oh it’s not a problem. A few bad apples made it hard to feel comfortable with making my partner gain. Exes that were vulnerable and obsessive, gaining weight solely for me against their own will to feel wanted by me. It made it hard it hard to apply my fetish to anyone but myself.

I’m sure I could be a feeder after all that if the circumstances were all right. I just would rather stick to gaining. My partner may be into it by how they act around my newly found belly, but I trust their judgement to tell me and I won’t be the one to expose it.

And I wanna try different positions, it sometimes feels limiting. I know there is a post with fat positive sex positions but all felt more or less the same but at a slight angle, leg raised, or straight up didn't work for us.

Stockylove:
Good luck. This is not a situation I would want to be in. But I don't think that will happen to me.

PurpleJade:
Oh it’s not a problem. A few bad apples made it hard to feel comfortable with making my partner gain. Exes that were vulnerable and obsessive, gaining weight solely for me against their own will to feel wanted by me. It made it hard it hard to apply my fetish to anyone but myself.

I’m sure I could be a feeder after all that if the circumstances were all right. I just would rather stick to gaining. My partner may be into it by how they act around my newly found belly, but I trust their judgement to tell me and I won’t be the one to expose it.

And I wanna try different positions, it sometimes feels limiting. I know there is a post with fat positive sex positions but all felt more or less the same but at a slight angle, leg raised, or straight up didn't work for us.

Munchies:
Oof. That sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

My first feedee was a people-pleaser. It was nice at first. He said that he was dedicated to my pleasure and would do anything he could to fulfill my fantasies. That didn't end well. It turns out that when you put your partner on a pedestal as an object of worship, your relationship goes south fast.

My current partner has a strong sense of self, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think the way you are handling your partner's possible fetish is the best way to go about it. Your partner already knows about your kinks. He's more than likely figuring his own out. He'll come to you when he's ready.

Stockylove:
Good luck. This is not a situation I would want to be in. But I don't think that will happen to me.

PurpleJade:
Oh it’s not a problem. A few bad apples made it hard to feel comfortable with making my partner gain. Exes that were vulnerable and obsessive, gaining weight solely for me against their own will to feel wanted by me. It made it hard it hard to apply my fetish to anyone but myself.

I’m sure I could be a feeder after all that if the circumstances were all right. I just would rather stick to gaining. My partner may be into it by how they act around my newly found belly, but I trust their judgement to tell me and I won’t be the one to expose it.

And I wanna try different positions, it sometimes feels limiting. I know there is a post with fat positive sex positions but all felt more or less the same but at a slight angle, leg raised, or straight up didn't work for us.

Munchies:
Oof. That sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

My first feedee was a people-pleaser. It was nice at first. He said that he was dedicated to my pleasure and would do anything he could to fulfill my fantasies. That didn't end well. It turns out that when you put your partner on a pedestal as an object of worship, your relationship goes south fast.

My current partner has a strong sense of self, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think the way you are handling your partner's possible fetish is the best way to go about it. Your partner already knows about your kinks. He's more than likely figuring his own out. He'll come to you when he's ready.

Wackaroni:
I just can't imagine keeping things to myself. My parents had an extremely strained relationship because of their sexual incompatibility. It just caused chaos in our house, as they had very different expectations. Both of them felt unfulfilled and unable to satisfy one another, but in the end I guess they were pretty good at the whole financial and material aspect of things.

I just hate having such strong feelings only for me to keep them to myself. I feel like a massive aspect of my fetish or whatever is the desire to please another human being that shares what feels like an alienating interest. I desperately yearn for private intimacy with somebody who just gets me. I am tired of only being able to relate through lifeless screens, and only feeling temporarily but artificially pacified by seeing pixels of somebody that doesn't care about me and doesn't even know I exist.

Stockylove:
Good luck. This is not a situation I would want to be in. But I don't think that will happen to me.

PurpleJade:
Oh it’s not a problem. A few bad apples made it hard to feel comfortable with making my partner gain. Exes that were vulnerable and obsessive, gaining weight solely for me against their own will to feel wanted by me. It made it hard it hard to apply my fetish to anyone but myself.

I’m sure I could be a feeder after all that if the circumstances were all right. I just would rather stick to gaining. My partner may be into it by how they act around my newly found belly, but I trust their judgement to tell me and I won’t be the one to expose it.

And I wanna try different positions, it sometimes feels limiting. I know there is a post with fat positive sex positions but all felt more or less the same but at a slight angle, leg raised, or straight up didn't work for us.

Munchies:
Oof. That sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

My first feedee was a people-pleaser. It was nice at first. He said that he was dedicated to my pleasure and would do anything he could to fulfill my fantasies. That didn't end well. It turns out that when you put your partner on a pedestal as an object of worship, your relationship goes south fast.

My current partner has a strong sense of self, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think the way you are handling your partner's possible fetish is the best way to go about it. Your partner already knows about your kinks. He's more than likely figuring his own out. He'll come to you when he's ready.

Wackaroni:
I just can't imagine keeping things to myself. My parents had an extremely strained relationship because of their sexual incompatibility. It just caused chaos in our house, as they had very different expectations. Both of them felt unfulfilled and unable to satisfy one another, but in the end I guess they were pretty good at the whole financial and material aspect of things.

I just hate having such strong feelings only for me to keep them to myself. I feel like a massive aspect of my fetish or whatever is the desire to please another human being that shares what feels like an alienating interest. I desperately yearn for private intimacy with somebody who just gets me. I am tired of only being able to relate through lifeless screens, and only feeling temporarily but artificially pacified by seeing pixels of somebody that doesn't care about me and doesn't even know I exist.

Munchies:
I get where you are coming from, but this is a different situation.

PurpleJade's partner knows about her kinks and has been supportive. He also seems to be enjoying it more than he expected to.

This means that he is discovering things about his kinks. Maybe he's a feeder or an FA. Or maybe he's just attracted to her and likes how her belly feels. Either way, when you introduce your partner to a kink they don't share but have decided to participate in, they often don't understand what the kink means to them personally at first.

During this time, if they are responding positively to the new kink, it's best to let them figure things out for themselves. Then, when they have the words to explain their thoughts, they'll talk to you about it.

It's not keeping things from your partner if you don't discuss it immediately. Sometimes, it's good to wait and figure out your thoughts so you can have a better, more productive conversation later.

Wackaroni:
I should also apologize if I am just inserting myself in this discussion crudely, but the context helps. I guess that in itself is daunting to me, as it is difficult for me to imagine myself showing somebody something new and then them embracing it or coming to enjoy it. For me, I think I am open to new things, but I am pretty dead-set on what I consider to be my favorite in this context so I imagine that other people would be the same. Then again, I come from a past of a lot of rejection, people-pleasing, comparison, etc.

BigBallBellyGirl:
I have some very good friends who know there is a sexual component to my size and eating habits; with some, I've spoken of it, although not in great detail to non-feedists.

My parents know I'm happy with my size and do not aspire to be thin. They're not thrilled, but they also love me enough not to alienate me for it. There is a zero percent chance I'd ever discuss feedism with them

With work, my size and sexual preferences are absolutely no one's business.

All that said, my fiance probably has more friends who know about his lifestyle. He's tall, lean, and fit, and he is marrying a 500 lb.+ woman. While he has been in past relationships with some average-sized or thin women, two of his past girlfriends have been over 300 pounds. At the very least, most people who are close to him know his preferences.